New Beginnings
by Lorelai Danes
Summary: Severus Snape is sent by Dumbledore to check on Harry after it is discovered that he may be in danger. Despite their differences, Snape helps Harry through a rough patch in his life. AbusedHarry/GuardianSnape. Summer after GOF.
1. Chapter 1

_**New Beginnings**_

_A Harry Potter Story by Kelly A. Brown_

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><p>Severus Snape was pacing around in the dungeons, waiting to hear the familiar sound of the Headmaster flooing in. The Weasley boy and the Granger girl had informed the headmaster that Harry had not written to them for an entire month since the summer break began. Normally, Severus would pay this fact no mind and just assume the insolent brat was too lazy to Owl his friends. This time, however, he did worry.<p>

Exactly one month ago, Severus Snape had been called to duty by the Headmaster to accompany the students as they rode the train home at the end of the term. Since the incident with Cedric Diggory, Albus was not taking any chances on any more harm coming to the students of Hogwarts. Characteristic of Professor Snape, he certainly did not wish to accompany the students on their ride home. He felt he received enough of their entertaining wit inside the classroom _during_ the school year. He snarled to himself at the reminder of how dimly lit the minds were of many of his students this past year, with the exception of a few bright bulbs in the class.

While stepping onto the platform to board the train, he spotted Potter and his friends talking a few steps ahead of himself. He noticed that Harry had an unusually light bundle of luggage with him. Well, he carried no actual luggage at all, save for his trunk, his owl, and a pitiful looking carry-on bag. After Severus had boarded the train, he saw Harry again, curled up in his seat, staring absently out the window while his friends nonchalantly chattered away about their summer plans. Every so often, Harry would engage in a weak nod or a laugh, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Severus Snape took a seat by himself, about two yards away from the boy. He ordered a glass of firewhiskey and a slab of bread and butter for the trek. He wished he had brought along the new music player he had recently acquired (a muggle contraption, yes, but perfect for circumstances in which he found himself amongst hundreds of screaming teenage witches and wizards). _The muggles have something there_, he thought, and made a mental note to find out which other muggle electronics may prove to be useful in the future. Yes, this was most certainly one of those times when he needed soft, delicate music to fill his ears. As he sat there, staring curiously at the Potter boy, he wondered what the boy thought about the recent events that took place only a few days prior. It had not been very long since the death of Cedric and he knew Harry well enough to know that he would blame himself for the tragedy. Harry was many things-outspoken, disrespectful, bold, dangerously curious, and extremely headstrong. But, he was never one to be complacent or uncaring about what happened to other people. No matter what happened, he always had a tendency to place the blame solely on himself. He had overheard the boy one night, talking to himself in the library. It was past midnight when Severus saw him and his first reaction was to run and strangle the boy and send him straight off to his common room with a week's worth of detention. If there was one thing Severus could not stand, it was children wandering about the castle late at night. It's what James Potter did seemingly every night when they were young. James and his cronies, who thought they were above school rules. Severus mentally prepared some harsh, biting words that he would lash out at the boy once he had him where he wanted him. However, as he slowly approached the boy, it became increasingly clear that he was distraught. Severus stepped back and secluded himself securely behind a bookcase, where he could not be seen, but was still within earshot of the boy.

"I'm sorry, Mum…" Harry sobbed into his hands as a photo of Lily and James fell like a feather onto the floor. "I'm sorry you had to die…for me to live. Everybody says it. They tell me constantly…all the time…that I wouldn't have lived…if you hadn't died. Sometimes, I really wish I didn't live…I wish…" A wretched sound escaped the boy's throat. It sounded as though it had been pent up there for quite some time and had finally escaped through his vocal passage and out into the open air. It was a horrible, ghastly sound that made the hair on the back of Snape's neck stand up. The boy gasped for breath and soon enough, another awful sound escaped his throat, although this time, it didn't shock Severus's ears as much. Finally, after calming himself down to a soft, silent sob, he picked up his photo and his bag and raced out of the library under the wondrous protection of his invisibility cloak.

Snape thought of this memory as he was on the train, watching the boy closely. He knew that the child had witnessed the murder of Cedric Diggory. Along with that, he knew that it was quite possible that Potter blamed himself for the tragedy. After all, Voldemort was after Harry, not Cedric. It was simply unfortunate that Cedric happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he knew the boy at all, he was most likely dwelling on the fact that the only reason Voldemort had come back was to attempt to kill him a second time. Severus had known Harry long enough to know that Harry would have offered to die in place of Cedric, if given the chance. Severus never really liked the Potter boy much, always reminding him of everything he hated about James. However, when it came down to it, he knew Harry cared deeply about his friends and those closest to him. Perhaps he cared a bit too much.

Snape, however, knew that Harry was supposed to live. He had to live. If Harry had died that fateful night all those years ago, Severus was sure that Voldemort would have destroyed the entire wizarding world within a year or at the very least made it intolerable. He was much too power hungry to lie down and die quietly and without protest. Severus stared intently at the boy and, for a moment or two, felt sorry for him. That was until he caught something peculiar peeking out of the boy's carry-on bag. It appeared to be the glass top of a very familiar looking potion vial. Snape grimaced in his seat and immediately mentally accused Potter of theft. If Potter had been a decent potions student, he might surmise to believe that he bottled a sampling of a particularly good potion he had made in class. If the boy was outstanding in any subject at all, he may have even believed that he had received a free vial of some really useful potion from a professor for doing such an excellent job in class. But, no… Potter's performance in Potions was dismal, at best. He had never concocted a potion yet that was edible by another person. Severus watched curiously at the bottle, bobbing up and down as the train car bounced haphazardly while strutting along the tracks. Potter looked away from the window and, for a moment, his eyes and Snape's met. After their eyes became locked, Harry nervously darted his eyes down only to see the potion-in-question sticking out of his bag. He immediately shoved it back in. Hesitantly, he picked up his head and looked once more into the deep obsidian eyes of his potions professor. He knew what the professor was thinking, assuming. He knew that Snape thought (again!) that he had stolen from his personal potion stores. However, instead of accusing Potter or verbally attacking him at the sight of the vial, the professor simply turned his eyes away and went back to reading his book. He had been wrong a week ago when he accused Potter of stealing from his stores and he was not about to make himself look like an idiot two weeks in a row. He felt like a fool when it turned out not to be Potter, but the miserable low life working for the Dark Lord, posing as Alastor Moody. If there was one thing Severus Snape hated it was being wrong. He hated being wrong any time, but especially when the Potter boy turned out to be in the right. So, this time at least, he begrudgingly let it go.

Snape turned his view back to Harry though as they prepared to get off at the station. As the train halted to a stop, Severus could see a growing look of dread appear on the boy's thin facial features. As the train ceased to move, that look of dread transformed into an almost panicked look on the boy's face. Severus had seen that exact facial expression on Potter before. He saw it before the boy went in to do the third task of the Triwizard Tournament. It was entirely different from the look he gave Snape whenever the professor gave him an unfair detention or whenever Snape accused him of something he didn't do. No, in those situations, the boy was defiant and bold. He didn't seem intimidated by Snape the same way the other students were. Sure, Harry didn't find the man pleasant to look at or talk to, but he never looked apprehensive or scared the way Neville or Weasley looked whenever they encountered the dark-haired, beady-eyed man. Harry was not afraid of him. Not one bit, in fact.

After Harry got off the train, he gave a long hug to Hermione and then to Ron. They promised each other that they would Owl one another at the very least once a week over the summer. Hermione firmly protested that she didn't believe Ron would write as he vowed he would. After a drawn out goodbye session, Harry looked around the station, presumably for his family. Something about the boy's contorted and worried face made Severus uneasy. He was startled when he saw the boy's expression change from worried to absolute fear in a matter of seconds. When he followed the boy's frightened gaze, his eyes landed on a rather large man and his tall, lanky wife. Next to them, a scowling boy lazily tagged along behind them. Harry walked toward them slowly, timidly…uncharacteristically so. The boy stopped when he saw the angry look in the older man's eyes and for a split second, he thought the boy might turn and run back onto the train. A sliver of visible pain and sadness flashed brilliantly across the boy's emerald eyes and Severus thought for a moment that he looked much more like Lily rather than James. James's eyes always held that cocky, snarky sentiment. His eyes often glazed over from time to time in a rather vacant expression. Not that James Potter was stupid. By no means was he stupid. But, one could tell by his expression that he didn't exactly have academics on his mind. He truly hated the way he looked at Lily too, with that animal like lust in his eyes. Severus never looked at Lily in that way. More often than not, he looked directly into her warm, soulful eyes and listened to whatever criticism she had of him that day. Lost in his short reverie, he almost missed Potter being dragged practically by the neck towards his uncle's car.

Harry's uncle was scolding him for packing so much, which made Severus blink twice in disbelief. The boy hadn't packed much at all. Most of the young wizards had tons of stuff they didn't need that they brought to school from home. But, not Potter. Potter wasn't known to keep a lot of junk in his room. Vernon watched as Harry struggled to put his trunk inside the car and scowled at him angrily.

"Serves you right for packing so much...freakish little good-for-nothin'…" Vernon hissed at his nephew. After Harry finally got his things inside the trunk of the car, Vernon pulled the trunk down, nearly hitting Harry's fingers.

Vernon's chubby face seethed with nonsensical anger as he pulled his nephew by the neck and threw him into the backseat.

That was the last time Severus saw Harry Potter and it left a bad taste in his mouth. No, he did not usually care much for what the boy did once he left school, nor should he care. He always thought the boy's aunt and uncle would tend to his needs, at least on a relatively basic level. But, something about the way his uncle seemed to take perverse pleasure at his struggle to get the trunk into the car made Severus think ill of the man. Sure, Snape picked on Harry, mocked him, and occasionally snapped at him for botching up a potion. But, usually he refrained from outright laughing or making fun of the boy.

Severus felt a rush of relief wash over him as he saw the familiar sight of the Headmaster stepping out from the floo. Usually, he wasn't so keen on seeing the tired old bat over the summer break, but today was an exception.

"Severus, I need you to go check on Harry. He is with his relatives in in Little Whinging, Surrey." Albus stated, panting from whatever panic had just erupted before he flooed into Severus's quarters.

"I beg your pardon?" Severus asked in a huff. "I thought that is what _you_ were doing this whole time! I was waiting to hear from you about the boy's condition. I thought you went to check up on him?" Severus snapped, forgetting momentarily about Potter and focusing more so on his anger towards his superior.

"Severus, you know I've been ill these past few weeks. Since his relatives are muggles, I contacted them using a telephone. I called the boy's family several times and they assured me that the boy is fine. However whenever I asked to speak to Harry myself, they refused and told me he was out. Finally, I called late at night and they still insisted he wasn't there. I'm worried about him now, Severus. Very worried…" Albus looked visibly distraught.

"Well, if he was hurt, surely his family would let you know. It doesn't make sense for them to withhold that sort of information." Severus snarled. "Unless they are completely incompetent."

"You see, Severus, his family is actually the cause for some of my concern. Knowing them, I highly doubt they would inform anyone in the wizarding world about Harry's whereabouts. They have a strong prejudice against magic and anyone who practices magic. Anyway, they've never been very good at looking after Harry. The few times I've spoken to them, they acted as though they didn't care for the boy at all." Albus said, mournfully. "Nevertheless, they are the only family he has."

"You knew this whole time that he wasn't being looked after properly?" Severus asked, appalled. "And you allowed him to remain there all this time regardless?"

"Well, I don't know for certain. But, I've had a hunch they don't treat him nearly as well as his parents would have…" Albus muttered. "Either way, I am far too ill to apparate or fly in my present condition and I know you aren't too busy today to go and check on the boy. I won't be able to sleep until I know he is safe and alright."

"What if I go all the way to Surrey and it turns out he's happy and healthy as a horse? What do I say my reason is for showing up to his relatives?"

"Simply say that his friends reported a strange absence in letters and we wanted to check up on him. Just say sorry to disturb your home and simply head back to the castle. It shouldn't take too long, Severus. Won't you do me this favor?"

"If I had a galleon for every time you've said that to me, I could probably retire rather early." Severus stated dryly.

Albus smiled. "I trust you'll find Harry safe and sound, but if you should encounter any trouble, here is a portkey. If for some reason the boy is injured or ill, you may need to use this instead of apparating."

Albus handed him the portkey. "Run along then. It's almost dark and you don't want to disturb them too much."

That is why Severus found himself outside of Potter's home at 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey roughly one hour later. Not far from this home is where Severus himself had grown up as boy, a few towns west in Spinner's End. He shuddered at the remembrance. He certainly was not looking forward to making pleasantries with Harry's _Aunt Petunia_. She was a vile woman, even when they were kids. She detested all things magical. Or at least, that was what she said. In truth, she was jealous and afraid. Severus chuckled at the memory of himself and Lily finding a hilarious letter Petunia had written to the Headmaster when they were kids, asking to be let into Hogwarts despite her being non-magical. Petunia was furious when she discovered that Severus and Lily went through her drawers and found the letter. Furious does not even begin to cover it… Severus didn't care. He didn't care for Petunia or any of Lily's family.

Severus walked up the paved walkway of the Dursley home and noticed that the door was locked and there was no car in the driveway. A note rested on the front door, addressed to their neighbor named Donna, instructing her on where to find the pet food while they're on vacation.

_Vacation?_ Severus thought angrily. _Potter is probably off somewhere, gallivanting and smiling. This is a waste of time_, Severus said bitterly to himself.

However, a nagging feeling some place inside of him made him want to investigate the house anyway. He was sure Potter was not there, but a prickling fear in the back of his mind made him want to be sure. He didn't trust the bastards. They might have been the kind of muggles who would consider leaving a 15 year old boy to his own devices for a week. Muggles came in all varieties, but Severus had a knack for encountering the stupid and idiotic ones quite frequently.

Severus went and knocked on the door. Suffice it to say, he was not surprised in the least when there was no answer. He rounded the house and peered in through the windows. The house was dark and not one light was lit. He apparated into the home after finding that none of the windows could be opened from the outside.

Upon entering, the house appeared to be in normal condition. The kitchen was tidy, the living room hardly appeared lived in. He was positive that Potter was not inside this house. However, once again, a nagging feeling in the back of his mind told him to cast a point me spell to see if Potter was in the home, hiding somewhere.

_Point me, Harry Potter_.

What Severus saw after reciting the familiar incantation made his entire body feel numb. He recast the spell a second time to make sure there had been no mistake. Sure enough, the same thing occurred and for a moment, Severus could not breathe.

_It couldn't be…they wouldn't_, he thought to himself, as he crept closer to where his wand was directing him.

A blue glow from his wand was pointing towards a small cupboard under the stairs. Severus immediately dove for the cupboard, ripping the door off entirely by casting a quick destruction spell. The door was heavily padded with locks and bolts, to which Severus could only obliterate through magic. Once the door was blasted open, the professor peered down and moved the forefront of his body inside the small room. The inside of the cupboard smelled like what he imagined death to smell like. There, in the corner of the room, Severus could see a small boy, stripped of all his clothes, lying in a coma-like lump on the floor. His body was ridden with marks, bruises, and cuts. His thin face had turned a deep shade of red from crying. Severus could see a bulbous black and blue forming a circle around his right eye, along with various scratches and what almost looked like burn marks on his cheeks. His body was huddled up in a pitiful way, his body stark naked save for a small, blood-stained blanket rolled up between his legs. Severus lunged over to the boy and instantly began assessing his injuries. In his mind, he was having a complete mental breakdown, but his body had to maintain its outward composure for him to be able to help the child. He gently waved his wand over the boy's body, scanning it for injuries. Severus's wand lit up as he passed over the boy's ribs, arms, and legs. Given the boy's present condition, that much was to be expected.

Snape quietly cursed under his breath each time he discovered a new injury on the boy's mangled body, but it was when his wand found its way to the rumbled, dirty blanket between his legs, that Severus truly felt appalled. As the wand passed over the tattered excuse for a blanket, his wand instantly released a bright green glow that sent the signal to Severus that the boy was severely damaged in the selected area. As he felt the wand respond to the newest injury, the pure shock of this discovery caused Severus to drop his wand. As his wand fell to the ground, a horrified cry escaped Snape's throat. It was unthinkable, to do that to a child. To do that to anyone.

Severus's hand was shaking violently as he peeled back the bloodied blanket to find the boy's private area covered in whelps and bruising. His thighs were red and blotched, as though stung by a belt or whip. Severus's hands were trembling and he could feel the prickle of fresh tears forming behind his eyes. He tried to control the natural reaction by thinking about something else, anything else, but the sight in front of him. A young boy, his own student, was lying in a cupboard, his entire body naked and covered in marks and cuts. The sight almost didn't register in Snape's mind as being real, for no less than five minutes prior, he had been outside looking in at a peaceful home, a family gone on vacation. As he was standing outside just a few minutes earlier, he had no idea of the atrocity that lay inside. Severus laid a shaky hand on the boy's forehead before moving down to stroke the boy's bruised cheek.

Choking back on his own tears, Severus managed to speak weakly. "Harry."

Harry flinched a little, stirred slightly, but did not open his eyes.

Severus reached up and stroked a thick piece of hair on Harry's head and said soothingly. "Harry, you're safe now. It's Professor Snape. I'm here to heal you and take you away from here."

With that, Harry opened his one good eye and stared in the general direction of the voice. As his eye opened slowly, Severus's heart leaped with the realization that Harry looked so much like Lily. The boy was not wearing his glasses. They probably were destroyed purposefully by whoever was responsible for this feat of brutality.

Severus's hand hadn't moved from its position along Harry's cheek. The child opened his mouth as though he was going to speak, but no words came out. He clearly had some trouble speaking, but the fact that he was in great pain became utterly clear. After a few moments of trying to formulate a sentence, he resigned to saying "It hurts…it hurts."

A sharp pain stabbed through Severus's heart as he looked down at the boy. Without thinking, he gently tousled the boy's brown locks of hair while gazing deeply into Harry's eyes for a few moments. Finally, he spoke to the boy. Despite the effort to remain calm, the usual silkiness of Severus's voice was blotched by choking on unshed tears. "Albus gave me a portkey. You are too weak to apparate or fly by broom. I will not have it given your condition."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded. Snape quickly transfigured Harry's crumpled blanket into a large sweater and pajama pants.

The clothing was rested atop Harry's legs and midsection, deliberately covering up the worst part of the child's beating.

Snape gestured toward the clothes. "Put these on first. I will wait for you just outside. Take as long as you need to gather your things."

As he got up to exit the cupboard and leave Harry in his privacy to change, Harry grabbed a small chunk of Snape's robes. His grip was extremely light, barely felt by Snape, as he did not have much strength left in him. "No..." Harry moaned.

Snape turned back around and looked cautiously at the boy.

Harry answered Snape's silent question in a small, defeated tone. "I don't think….I don't think I can…" Harry winced in pain and found his hand reaching for the clothes. His hand grabbed the clothes rather fiercely, but Snape guessed he was clutching because of the pain and not because of the clothing. Harry closed his eyes and continued to grimace in pain.

Snape nodded and whisked his wand. Instantly, Harry was wearing the two items of clothing. Still lying like a pile of wounded flesh on the ground, Snape realized the boy did not even have the strength to walk. Severus reached over to Harry and gently cupped his body and brought his entire weight against his chest. The boy was fairly light, Snape observed as he lifted him off of the floor.

"Grab my hand." Severus said gently. "Grab my hand and I'll recite the incantation. You'll be safe soon, back at Hogwarts. We need to get you healed the second we get back to the castle."

Harry did as he was told and latched his small hand into Snape's own. Within seconds, they arrived safely into Snape's quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

Even though travelling through portkey is significantly less treacherous than apparating, Harry let out a small yelp in pain as they landed. His body felt sore, raw, and used. Knowing Dumbledore's foresight, Severus thought the portkey might land them in the hospital wing, but then he remembered that Poppy did not stay in the castle over the summer break since there were never any students here.

Severus squeezed the boy tighter in his arms. "Are you alright, Potter?"

Harry closed his eyes and gave a slight nod. Through Severus's eyes, the boy's body seemed extremely worn for his young years. Harry clutched Snape's robes tightly, as though he were hanging on for dear life, until the professor settled the boy gently onto the couch.

After securing the boy safely onto the sofa, he found a note left earlier by the Headmaster. It informed Severus that he would be away at his relative's home while he was getting well, but to Owl him the second he found out any news about Harry. He asked Severus, in the letter, to look after the boy if he did, in fact, have to bring him back to Hogwarts. Severus sneered at the letter. After all of the earlier hysterics from Dumbledore, he assumed the headmaster would wait until news was brought before leaving the castle.

Snape thought of bringing Potter up to the hospital wing anyhow since he would have access to better healing tools there, but Harry was clearly too weak to even use the floo. It didn't matter...his first priority was mending the most severe injuries first before the boy had a chance to lose any more blood. Even though Snape was not a certified medi-wizard, he was still greatly adept at healing. It was one of the main reasons for his interest in potions.

After he gently laid the fragile, broken child onto his couch, he summoned over a chair for himself. With another swift flick of his long, black wand, several potion vials made their way through the air from his stores. Skele-grow, a pain reliever, a blood replenishing potion, and a weaker version of his classic calming draft travelled towards the professor and his student. They sat themselves down on the coffee table besides Severus.

Harry didn't have his eyes open, but Severus could tell he was awake by the way he tensed up when Snape pointed his wand at the edge of his black eye. He recited a quiet incantation as his wand slowly made its round about the eye. Within a few minutes, the damaged skin had shrunk down to his normal size and the black and blue had faded, but one could still see light bruising. He then made way to the boy's arm. He cast a diagnostic spell and could instantly see that in addition to the boy's two broken arms, he also suffered from a number of broken bones in his right hand, a broken rib, and a cracked pelvic bone. Severus felt his blood begin to boil in anger. He could not fathom why someone would want to do such terrible things to a young boy_. _

_A child. He is just a child. _Severus repeated to himself. He couldn't understand the motivation for such an attack on a fifteen year old boy._ Potter's family will pay for this…. _Severus thought angrily. _Brute muggle bastards...  
><em>

Trying to push his wishes of revenge aside, he went back to working on the boy's wounds. However, he couldn't keep his wandering thoughts at bay.

_But, what if it was not his family who did this? Could it have someone under the orders the Dark Lord?_ He pondered that possibility as he prepared his wand and mind to begin mending the boy's bones.

_No, the Dark Lord wants the child dead, not injured. Unless…a death eater was sent to the home with orders to lock the boy up without food or water? The Dark Lord does enjoy forcing people to die a slow and painful death… _Severus mused for a moment before touching the edge of his wand to Harry's broken arm.

_Could he have sent his death eaters to Potter's home? But if they had been sent…why wasn't I summoned as well?_

The moment Severus began using magic to heal the boy's broken arm, Harry shot up and let out a petrifying guttural scream. Snape instantly dropped his wand and jumped back in surprise. He had thought the child was practically comatose in his injured state, but apparently he was wide awake...and clearly frightened.

"Stop it! You're hurting me!" Harry yelled, his eyes wide open in panic. A perfect pair of brilliant green orbs were filled to the brim with fear. His voice sounded angry, but his eyes spoke otherwise.

"You have suffered an extraordinary number of broken bones, Potter." Severus explained. "I am perfectly capable of mending them. However, I cannot do so if you will not allow me to. I will also need to heal your open wounds. Unless you do enjoy losing blood?" Snape snapped in a harsher tone than he intended.

"How do I know you're healing me? You might be trying to hurt me more!" Harry shouted, his body now trembling. "You hate me! You've always hated me…I don't-" Harry paused to reclaim his breath. "I don't—" Harry couldn't catch his breath due to the tremors pulsating throughout his small frame.

He regained his voice. "I don't trust you!" Harry finally lashed out at his professor, heavy tears streaming continuously from his eyes and down his cheeks, lazily dripping off his chin. The boy held a tired gaze and the whites of his eyes were crimson red from crying.

Severus felt a rush of fury at the harsh accusation. He was tough on his students, sure, but he would never physically injure a child! However, given the circumstances, he was not going to add insult to injury. "Potter, look at me."

Harry closed his eyes and turned away from his professor.

"_Look_ at me!" Snape urged more impatiently. When he received no response, he reached over and gently cocked Harry's head to the side so that the boy was facing him. Slowly, but surely, Harry opened his eyes. Severus couldn't imagine the horrible things those innocent eyes have witnessed.

"Harry." Severus stated softly, in a voice Harry had never heard before from his most intimidating professor. It confused him.

_How badly was I hurt?_ Harry thought, _for Snape to be nice to me? Must be pity. He thinks I'm pitiful!_

"You are gravely injured." Snape stated matter-of-factly.

_Of course_, thought Harry. _It is pity_.

"You have been wronged by whoever did this to you. You have no reason to trust anyone given what happened and I understand if you feel that you cannot trust me. However," Snape paused mid-sentence. "I am asking that you _do_ try."

A few moments went by before Snape spoke again. "Let me ask you…have I ever physically harmed you in the past?" Severus questioned, already knowing the answer. When Harry went to protest, Snape cut him off sharply. "And making you scrub cauldrons in detention does _not _count."

Harry's eyes softened, but did not speak. After a couple of minutes, Harry sighed in a defeated tone. "Alright. Get on with it, then."

"While I am mending your bones, you _must not_ flinch. It could cause irreparable damage if you do." Snape warned sternly, but not angrily. "Do. Not. Flinch!"

Harry shook his head. "I won't flinch, sir."

"Just in case…I'm going to cast a body binding spell on you. It is only _temporary_, so please do not go off into hysterics." Snape said and wandlessly cast the spell. This time, the boy did not protest.

_Whatever Snape does to me can't be worse than Uncle Vernon. He wouldn't want to lose his job. _Harry told himself. _Dumbledore would fire him in a second if he ever hurt me._

Snape lifted his wand once again and pointed it toward his arm. "Mending broken bones is not a fun process, Potter. It will sting, it will hurt, but you will feel much better afterwards, I assure you."

As Severus started to mend the first of the broken bones, Harry's face contorted in pain, but his body remained still due to the binding spell. He was sure that if Snape had not cast it, he would be running around the dungeons screaming his head off right about now.

Finally, about one hour later, all of Harry's broken bones were, for the most part, safely mended and in the process of healing. His open cuts were sealed and soft white gauze was wrapped around all of his serious wounds. Snape had given Harry all of the necessary potions and the boy was sleeping soundly on the couch in a transfigured sweater and boxer shorts. The boy had whimpered in pain earlier after Snape had transfigured pajama pants on him. The material aggravated the wounds he suffered from, so he switched them to boxers while the boy was sleeping. He waited until the boy was asleep to apply pain relieving salve to his serious wounds, as he knew the boy would not consent to it. But, the salve was necessary to prevent scarring. Severus knew that the boy could not apply it himself due to his broken arms and hand. He figured the boy would realize in the morning, but by then there was little he could do to protest.

After the ordeal seemed to be coming to an end, at least for that night, Severus sat down beside the boy and watched as he slept peacefully. Severus didn't know what to make of the situation. He wanted to ask the boy a million questions, but he knew better than do so directly after the assault. What the child needed right now was sleep and rest, not interrogation. Aside from Potter, Snape was also not yet fully prepared to speak of what had happened…about what he had seen when he opened the cupboard.

While the boy was sleeping soundly, Snape decided to apparate back to Privet Drive to pick up all of Harry's belongings that were forgotten during the rescue. He was certain that Harry would not wake (he drank quite a bit of the calming draft), however, to be certain, he cast a light sleeping spell on the snoozing lump on his couch so he would not wake while Severus was out. He summoned a soft, plaid blanket out from the bedroom and draped it over Harry's small body with his wand.

Once again, Snape was standing outside of Harry's home on Privet Drive, looking out onto the exterior of the epitome of classic Suburban muggle life. The place Harry had been calling home since his mother and father were killed. This time, as he gazed out onto the scene before him, he had a very different expression on his face. He was angry. Not the same type of anger he felt towards his students when they botched up a potion or broke a vial…or even when Albus told him for the fifteenth time that he would _not_ be that year's DADA professor even after the previous professor quit, got fired, or dropped dead. No, as he stared out onto the house, he felt nothing but _genuine_ rage. He hadn't felt anger this strong and unwavering since he found out the Dark Lord had murdered his life's one and only love, Lily Evans.

He apparated into the home and looked around for anything that seemed as though it might be Potter's. Finally, he found the boy's school trunk. Outside that dreadful cupboard.

_Light_. Severus thought to himself and sighed. _Too light_.

He went into the cupboard, which he now realized was the only place Harry was allowed to keep anything of his own. His heart sank as he bent down and ran a shaky hand along the blood-stained blanket he found the boy clutching only hours before. He then recognized the familiar carry-on bag from the train and an empty owl cage sitting beside it.

The sight struck Severus the wrong way. _Empty?_ _But, he didn't write his friends all summer_…

He shuddered at the thought that someone might have stolen or, god forbid, hurt his owl. Potter loved that bloody owl. Brought it with him everywhere. He tried not to think about the worst possible scenario. It was quite probable that the bird was simply flying around elsewhere since he was, after all, a wizard's owl.

Severus pushed the thought out of his mind and went in search of Harry's beloved broomstick. He assumed he would find the familiar Nimbus 2000 Harry always used to play Quidditch with somewhere in the house. He came up empty handed, but he figured he would worry about that later. After one more look throughout the house, he sent the belongings to the Hogwarts dungeons and apparated back into his quarters shortly after.

When he got back into his quarters, he released the sleeping spell he had cast upon the boy. After taking a long swig of firewhiskey, he retired to his bedroom for a much deserved night's sleep. Tomorrow would be a long day. A long day indeed.

* * *

><p>Harry woke up to the sound of sizzling bacon and eggs. For a moment, he was scared that his family had come back early from their vacation. He thought he would have had at least a few days to heal before his next beating. His body tensed up at the thought and he reached over to feel where he was laying. It did not feel like his cupboard and his body felt a lot better than expected after what happened a few days earlier. His outstretched hand felt nothing, but air, and when he brought it back he felt the edge of a sofa.<p>

_I'm not home_. Harry thought. He suddenly remembered the events of the previous night._ Snape…Snape took me away. I'm at Hogwarts…I think._

He cautiously opened his eyes and saw that he was indeed in Snape's quarters, adjacent to the potions dungeons. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a sliver of Snape's black robes appearing and disappearing swiftly inside the kitchen area. Snape was cooking, it seemed.

_Strange_, Harry thought_. Most well-to-do wizards have house elves for that kind of thing_.

Harry tried to get up, but a sharp pain in his inner thigh stopped him from moving any further. He thought of calling out to his professor for help, but decided against it. He was already a burden in the man's home. Before he could ponder the thought any further, he saw Snape walking towards him with a tray full of hot food.

Harry felt his mouth water in anticipation when he saw the spread. "Professor?"

Snape said nothing, but placed the tray next to the boy on the couch.

Harry was dumbfounded. Nobody had ever delivered him breakfast in bed before except for when he was in the hospital wing. Which, now that he thought of it, was quite often.

Harry cleared his throat and asked again. "Professor?"

"Good morning." Severus replied in a quieter voice than usual. "I trust you slept well?"

Harry nodded, but still grimaced slightly at the lingering pain from earlier when he attempted to get up. "I did, thank you sir."

Snape took notice of the boy's face…he was cringing slightly as he struggled to get comfortable on the couch. Severus looked concerned. "Are you in pain?"

Harry nodded, but said nothing more on the subject. A moment passed. "Um…is all this food for me, sir? It seems like an awful lot."

Snape nodded. "Indeed it is. You look like you haven't had a proper meal in weeks. You need to eat well in order to heal your bones. Please, eat everything you can."

Harry again nodded, but then realized that his arms were in slings. "Sir? Do you think my arm is better now?"

Snape nodded. "It should be alright. Magical healing works much faster than muggle. Try to use your right arm. It was the better of the two. If you feel a sharp pain, I'll put it back into the sling at once."

Harry shakily slipped his arm out of the sling, and although he felt a constant, dull pain, he was able to use it to eat his food. They sat in silence for a few minutes. It was not entirely awkward. An unspoken agreement rested between the pair that they would not yet mention the events of the night before. Not yet, anyway. When Harry was finished eating, Snape cleared the plates with a whisk of his wand.

"I'll have to learn how to do that one of these days." Harry stated quietly and forced a small grin. "I really hate cleaning."

Snape mustered up a half-smile at Harry's attempt at humor. A few more minutes went by as Snape sat in his chair, staring to his right at Harry laying on his couch. A heavy silence fell upon them for a good while.

"Harry…" Snape started to speak, but stopped when he found that he did not know what to say. What could he say? He wanted to help the boy, tell him that everything would be okay, that it was not his fault, that adults should keep children safe…not be the ones to hurt them. But, nothing he could think of saying seemed adequate enough for this situation. For once in his life, he was truly at a loss for words.

Harry looked up from his lap at the man who, until very recently, he despised. "Yes, sir?"

Snape bent his head down and found himself shoving his face into the palms of his hands. He sat like that for what seemed like eternity. When he looked up, his eyes were glassy, as though they were slightly watered. "Harry…" Snape sighed, defeated. "You will have to try and explain to me why I found you in the state you were in last night."

Harry did not answer. He looked directly into the professor's eyes, but said nothing.

Snape gently prodded further. "Who did those things to you? You can tell me, Harry…I'm your teacher. Please. You can trust me, I promise."

When Harry still said nothing, but kept staring, Snape was beginning to grow frustrated. "When I found you, you were practically _dead _for Merlin's sake! If I didn't come get you, surely you would have perished in that God awful…_cupboard _your relatives mistook for a bedroom."

Harry kept staring at his professor. He was listening to the man, but didn't know how to answer. How could he explain why his uncle beat the crap out of him every night? And why _did_ Snape show up the night before at the Dursleys? So many questions…

Severus was now bordering on anger. "Potter! I am fully aware of the fact that you don't like me very much, but I'm still your teacher and I need to know why I found you laying in a cupboard beaten to a bloody pulp! Surely you know how it happened-it is a simple request."

Snape didn't mean to sound harsh, but old habits die hard. He cursed himself for losing his cool with the abused boy. He didn't need that after what happened to him.

Severus watched as Harry's face fell as he spit out the harsh words. He sighed, shoving pale fingers through his hair in a nervous twitch. "I didn't mean to yell at you." He ran a trembling hand through his black locks. "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry about the situation."

Harry turned pale. He didn't want to explain why his uncle beat him or why his professor found him half-dead in a cupboard. That was the last thing in the world Harry wanted to talk about. He would rather talk about potions or Voldemort... "I…I don't want to talk about it…please, sir…don't make me…not yet."

Snape's face softened and he stood up from his chair. He took a seat on the edge of the couch cushion, next to Harry's legs. He placed one hand on the boy's knee and gave it a slight squeeze. "I know." He paused for a few moments. "I know it's hard."

Harry's eyes welled up with tears as he continued to stare at his most hated professor. "You couldn't possibly know…nobody understands…they just think they do. Nobody knows what it feels like to be -what my life is like. You _do not_ know!"

Snape nodded and silence fell upon the two wizards once again.

Harry fidgeted a little and looked down at his blanket. "Sir…" he began. "It's not that I don't trust you. I just-I just don't want to _talk_ about it."

Severus understood why the child would not want to re-live and examine what happened to him, but he still had to let it out one way or another. "What if I told you there was a way for you to tell me everything that happened, but you wouldn't have to talk about it? Would you prefer that?" Snape asked, referring to legilimency, but trying not to alarm the boy.

Harry contorted his face and tilted his head to the side. "How-how is that possible?"

Severus displayed the closest thing he could get to a smile. "Legilimency. It is the ability to see another person's memories. There are two ways to view one's memories. One is by entering the mind of the person whose memories you wish to see. Another is by extracting copies of certain memories and placing them into a pensieve for viewing."

Harry's face went pale again. "I don't want you to view all my memories…that's private."

"Then," Severus began, "we can explore the second option. We'll extract only the memories you wish for me to see…for our current purposes, the memories from your attack…and I can view them in my pensieve."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"We don't have to do it now." Snape assured him. "But, I do need to know who was responsible for what happened to you. I suspect your uncle?" Snape asked knowingly.

Harry still had tears dripping down his face. His hand shot up to wipe them away. "Yes, sir. My uncle Vernon. He hates me. Says I'm a waste of space."

Snape cringed. "You are absolutely _not_ a waste of space." He paused before continuing. "How often did it occur?"

Harry's eyes welled up with fresh tears and did not answer his teacher.

"More than once? Or is this summer the first time that he-" Snape paused. "beat you?" He tried with all of his power to ask as gently as possible, but gentleness was never one of Severus's strong points.

Harry shook his head. "Not the first time he beat me. But, the first time he-" Harry's hands trembled and he shook slightly. "My birthday…"

Snape's eyes widened with alertness and he crept closer to the boy. He rested a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder. "The first time he did what, Harry? What happened on your birthday?"

Harry began involuntarily convulsing and violently shook his head. "No! No! No!" He tried to get up from the couch, but as he brought his leg to the side, he screeched in pain. "Ahhhhh!"

Snape jumped up and placed the boy back onto the couch. His eyes looked furious, but at the same time concerned. "Potter! You have broken bones and are severely injured. _Do. Not. Get. Up!_ Do you understand me?"

Harry shot Snape a fierce glare, then turned to face the back of the couch, away from his professor. "Yes, _sir_. I understand _perfectly_. Now if you wouldn't mind, I would like to be alone now."

Severus felt like kicking himself. "I was not trying to upset you on purpose. Contrary to popular belief, I am not heartless." He hesitated while deciding his next words. "I want to know what happened to you so I can _help_ you."

A long silence fell upon them once again. This time, it lasted for almost a half an hour. Feeling like his efforts were hopeless, Severus finally stood up to go back into the kitchen and prepare some much needed therapeutic tea. As he was walking away, he heard Harry's voice speak faintly in the distance.

"He killed my owl." Harry said softly to the back of the couch. Unknown to Severus, the boy's face was, again, covered in fresh tears.

Severus felt like someone just stabbed his heart with a knife. Slowly, he turned around. Harry was still facing the other way.

"He killed my owl and broke my broomstick." Harry's voice was barely audible, but Severus heard it loud and clear. The boy's simple words stung Snape's ears, burning into his mind the image of his fat uncle taking his anger out on the boy's innocent white owl.

Harry continued. "Because he hates me. He hates me and he hates magic. He says I should never have been born, that I'm-I'm nothing more than a burden to everyone. He told me he didn't want me writing to any of my "freaky friends", so he killed-" Harry let out a small cry. "He killed her."

_Hedwig_. Snape suddenly remembered the owl's name. He did not realize he ever even knew the boy's owl's name, for they rarely made conversation outside of class.

He slowly made his way back over to the couch and sat beside the boy, his side slightly touching the boy's legs. He reached up and carefully stroked the child's messy dark hair, trying his best to soothe him. He didn't care at this point if his snarky façade, his reputation, had been tarnished. The boy needed a real adult…and a friend…and someone to look out for his feelings.

Harry suddenly gasped for air through choking on tears. He had been holding in a breath for far too long. "And on my fifteenth birthday, he-" Harry couldn't keep control over his own voice, it began to quiver uncontrollably. He stuttered and finally all sound broke off. "He-"

The boy stopped there and Severus did not try and force him to speak any further. Harry turned around and began to sob into Snape's black robes. The boy's tears made a stain on his robe, but Snape didn't care. He laid a hand on the boy's back and let him cry until he didn't have any more tears left to shed.


	3. Chapter 3

When Harry woke up, he reached over and fumbled around trying to find his glasses. Soon enough, he found them and his once blurry eyesight began to come into focus. However, the sight he saw in front of him gave him quite the shock.

A perfect, snowy white owl was perched regally inside of a brass iron owl cage on the table next to the couch. There was a note hanging off the side of the cage which read:

_Mr. Potter,_

_This owl has been one of my own for several years now, but I am giving her to you. Her name is Frances. I know how much you cared for your owl, Hedwig, and I know that a new owl couldn't replace her. However, I think you and Frances will become fast friends. She is also quite the troublemaker._

_Please take good care of her for me._

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Snape_

Harry re-read the letter over and over again repeatedly, trying to find a glimpse of his professor's usual snark, the git of a man he's known for the past four years, but his search turned up nothing. Snape was being _nice_ to him-dare he say, _caring_ towards him... _I suppose it makes sense though_, Harry thought, _he did find me in pretty bad shape. He probably thinks I'm some pitiful charity case._

Little did Harry know, Severus was watching him silently from the other room, anxious to see the boy's reaction to his gifts. Snape knew Harry was in a delicate state, physically and emotionally, and he didn't want to alarm the boy. So, he cast a charm over himself so that Harry wouldn't hear or notice him.

Harry knelt down in front of the bird's cage and beamed. His face was practically glowing. Severus watched as the boy's eyes lit up at the sight of the owl. He didn't want to admit that it warmed his stone cold heart just a little, to see Lily's eyes light up the room and knowing it was because of something he did.

"Hi there, Frances!" Harry said happily and he lifted up his finger and stuck it through the bars of the cage. The bird didn't bite him and simply nudged Harry's finger with her beak. The bird squawked and flapped her feathers and looked as though she was almost saying hello back.

"I'm Harry." He said in a barely audible whisper. "Harry Potter." He paused for a few minutes before opening the cage door and stroking her feathers with his hand. "You're such a pretty owl, Frances." He said, smiling, as he pet his new bird. A warm sensation overcame him as he pet her. While he was petting her, he noticed another new object out of the corner of his eye. He spotted a brand new Firebolt broomstick leaning up against the coffee table. A bright red bow was tied around the top and another note was attached.

"Excuse me for a moment!" He said to the bird, his grin widening even further. He wasn't well enough to walk yet, but he managed to scoot his body over to the other side of the couch and reach over to grab the broomstick. Snape inwardly cursed himself for not placing it in a better spot. He was making Potter stuggle while in pain just to receive his gifts!

Harry's eyes widened as he clutched the fine wooden broomstick. Snape bought him a broomstick…it didn't make any sense…Snape hated Quidditch with all of his soul. He absolutely detested the sport. The only reason he ever showed up at the games was because of Dumbledore's insistance. Even then, he usually only went to matches if Slytherin was competing.

He read the letter.

_Mr. Potter,_

_Even though I despise the sport, you must have a proper broom at your disposal if you insist on playing Quidditch. Use it well and please try not to fall off, break it, or destruct of it or __yourself __in any way._

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Snape_

Harry reached up and ran a shaky hand along the broomstick's base and then gently caressed the crackling strands of broom at the bottom. It was new, beautiful, and looked awfully expensive. Harry was speechless. He didn't know what to think, say, or do with these newfound gifts from Snape. _Why would Professor Snape do this? He hates me!_

He stared at the new broomstick and then back at the owl and then back at the broomstick. It was too much to take in all at once. Never once had his aunt or uncle bought or given anything to him, except bitter words, hateful comments, and physical torment. That is, unless you count Dudleys' ratty old tee shirts and boxers that they threw in his direction every now and then. The numbed, but still ever-present, pain between his legs reminded him of everything that had happened between him and his relatives. As he got up to place the broom back in its place leaning against the table, a sharp pain shot up through his legs, back, and ribs and he fell to the ground in a loud thump. The broom fell down as well, but thankfully did not break.

"Ahhhh!" Cried Harry as the side of his body slammed against the hard wood floor in a loud thud. Snape ran out of the other room and raced to Harry's side, lifting him up, and placing him gently onto the couch. Harry's eyes were tearful as he clutched his ribs and stared up into the dark eyes of his professor. For once in his life, they didn't look threatening. They looked worried…and dare he say, kind?

Harry glanced over to the broomstick and again at the owl. The owl had her head cocked to the side and was watching Harry curiously. Severus wandlessly summoned a hot cup of tea laced with calming draft from the kitchen and held it out for Harry.

"Drink this." Is all Snape said and held it out for Harry to take. "It will help you relax and aid your pain."

"Professor…" Harry whispered. "I don't…"

"Shhh.." Snape said, his tone equally as soft. Harry went to speak, but he didn't know what to say. Instead, his lips moved up and down, but his vocal chords did nothing to break the silence between them.

Harry stuttered through the pain. "...why? Why, sir?"

Snape smiled as best he could. He wasn't used to performing that action, so he wasn't sure if it was a full on smile of not. It may have even been a smirk, he wasn't sure. He patted Harry's legs and said, "Drink your tea, Potter. And rest."

Harry looked at him, confused and disoriented. "Why?"

Snape brought the cup to Harry's hand, in which he shakily accepted the hot liquid.

"Why what?" Snape asked, pretending not to know what Harry was eluding to. He knew perfectly well.

"Why would you give me gifts? A new broomstick and a new owl? The broomstick looks awfully expensive and the owl…well, she was your owl and I don't…I can't…" Harry stammered.

Snape rested his hand gently on Harry's leg and gave it a slight squeeze. "Your uncle robbed you of your property, Potter. He stole from you and destroyed your property without consent, not to mention abusing and killing an animal. I was simply replacing what had been taken from you. Wrongfully taken from you, you're just a child."

Harry shook his head. "But, it wasn't your fault, sir! You didn't have to replace anything."

Snape brushed a loose, scraggly looking piece of hair out of Harry's eyes. "Hmm, is that so? And what would the world become, Potter,…if everyone merely did what they _had_ to do?"

Harry stared into his professor's eyes with shock. Finally, he shook his head and giggled. "I don't know what to make of you anymore, sir. I mean, you're not acting like a total git…"

Harry cupped a hand over his mouth as soon as he realized what he has said. "I didn't mean…"

Severus laughed. "Is that what they call me, now? I'm a 'git', am I?"

Harry blushed. "Well…you know…at school they say…"

Snape cut him off with a chuckle. "Take a rest, Potter. Drink your tea. This git has potions to brew and you need to relax." Snape checked his temperature, and then left Harry to go brew some pain relieving potions that he was sure Harry would require as his body healed.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry fell back to sleep easily and when he awoke, it was twelve hours later. _Snape must have given me a dreamless sleep potion…_ Harry concluded as he yawned and scratched his head, full of thick chestnut hair that was even messier than usual because of heavy sleep. _I didn't have any nightmares and slept through the night…again…Snape must be slipping me something._

His wounds were still ever-present, however they felt a lot better this morning. Whatever pain relieving potion Snape had been giving him was working slowly, but surely. However, his body was aching a little bit from being confined to the couch for two days, his imprint firmly impressed into the soft cushions. Looking around and seeing no sign of Snape, who instructed him specifically _not_ to walk around until his bones were healed, he decided to try and walk anyhow. He stood up from the couch and took a shaky step forward and felt a slight twinge of pain run up his leg. However, it wasn't too sharp this time. He had felt worse in the past. After all, his Uncle never allowed him this much time to rest or heal between beatings. Once one round subsided, it seemed another one began the next day.

Harry wobbled in slight pain all the way to the kitchen. Severus was sitting there quietly drinking his tea and skimming _The Daily Prophet_. The _Prophet_ was still ridden with articles about Harry and the Tri-Wizard Tournament fiasco. All of the articles calling the boy a liar, saying that Dumbledore put ideas about Voldemort returning into his head on purpose. Already angry because of the articles, he then looked up and saw the skinny teenager in the kitchen doorway, hobbling towards him. Harry did not think the professor would be in there and was caught red-handed.

When Severus saw Harry walking, his eyes flared up in what appeared to be a mixture of worry and rage, but before he had time to reprimand the boy or lead him back to the couch, Harry began stuttering "sorries" at him in rapid fashion.

"I'm sorry, professor…please…please don't punish me…don't make me leave…I made a mistake, I know I'm not supposed to be walking…" He stammered as he clutched the countertop to balance himself.

Snape stood up and took Harry by the shoulders. He gently placed Harry into the chair across from him without saying anything.

"Professor?" Harry asked, trying to feel him out. Severus did not respond.

Harry bit his lip before speaking again. "Are you angry, sir?"

Severus sighed. "No, Potter, I'm not angry. However, I did inform you earlier that it was _not_ safe for you to be walking around just yet. Did I not?"

Harry dropped his head. "Yes, sir. You did tell me." He lifted his head. "But, I just-"

Severus cut him off. "_You_ do not know if your legs and broken bones are healed. Only_ I_ can tell you that. I was going to examine you this morning and if they were, in fact, healed, I was going to allow you to resume walking around. It is not my desire to keep you confined to the couch."

Harry nodded. "Yes, sir…I'm sorry. I was just feeling awfully cramped up. My skin was practically burning."

Severus waved his hand and instantly a big plate of food was in front of Harry. "I know, Potter. But, it was still reckless nonetheless."

Severus continued. "Speaking of that, I think it's time to fix up a room for you if you are going to be staying here a while. At least you'll have a room to call your own until the start of term...or even afterwards if you so wish. I still can't believe your relatives confined you to that awful…cupboard." Snape shuddered at the thought of his family keeping him tucked away in such a small space.

"Actually, I did have a bedroom for a while. Dudley's second bedroom. But, my nightmares were keeping Dudley awake this summer, so he moved me back to the cupboard…" Harry's voice trailed off. He paused. "May I still eat, sir?"

Severus, still writhing internally over the fact that Harry slept in a cupboard while his fat oaf of a cousin had _two_ bedrooms, looked deep into the boy's green orbs. "Of course you may eat, Potter. I didn't just put food in front of you with the intention of _teasing_ you."

Harry felt happy that Snape wasn't angry, but he couldn't help feel weary about Snape's newfound kindness. Although, Harry thought, Snape did just give him an owl and a brand new broomstick, so he wasn't about to misjudge the man just yet. He knew that Snape had been going out of his way to make sure Harry was safe, well-fed, and somewhat happy. Harry put the thoughts aside and focused on eating his meal.

After a few minutes of eating in peace, Severus cleared his throat to let Harry know he was going to be speaking. "Harry, we need to talk about some things."

_Oh no_, thought Harry, _he __**is**__ going to send me back there….no, no, no…_

With the thought, Harry began choking on his strip of bacon. So much so, that Severus had to tap the boy on the back to make him cough it up. Harry spit the bacon up into a paper towel and looked hard at Snape.

"Sir…what is it you want to talk about?" Harry asked, his eyes wide in fear.

Severus sighed. "Relax, Potter. I am not about to send you back to your relatives. Please, vanquish that possibility from your mind at once. That will _not happen_. Not now, not ever. Understood?"

_How did he know?_ Harry was bewildered at how Snape could possibly ever know what he was thinking.

Harry nodded. "I understand, sir."

Snape sat down and moved his chair closer to Harry's. "We have to figure out a way for you to talk about what happened to you. If you keep all of it inside of you, then healing can never begin. So, how is it that you want to proceed?"

Harry didn't know what to say. "Um…proceed, sir?"

Snape sighed. "Proceed explaining to me…to someone…about your abuse, Harry. That and anything else that's bothering you."

Harry shook his head. "I really would rather not. I just want to forget about it, sir. After all, it's over now, isn't it? You said you wouldn't let them hurt me again."

Severus nodded. "That part is true. I will not let them hurt you again."

Harry shrugged. "Then, I don't understand why we have to talk about it. It's done, it's over."

"I thought this might be the case." He paused for a moment. "I'll be right back, Potter. Stay here and finish your meal." Then he added sternly. "_All_ of it."

Snape reappeared fifteen minutes later with two thick pieces of parchment and two quills. The parchment looked a little bit different than the ones they used at school. It looked older and much heavier.

Severus sat down and handed one piece of parchment and one quill to Harry and kept the others for himself.

"This parchment is not just an ordinary piece of parchment, Potter. It works sort of like a message system. If you write on your piece of parchment, your writing will show up on mine. Not only will I be able to see what you write, but I'll be able to answer as well. We can write back and forth like this, if you'd like, to avoid you having to vocalize your troubles and memories. You'll be able to start communicating about it this way and get some feelings off of your chest. How does that sound?"

Harry picked up the parchment and examined it carefully, studying it. "So, I can write anything and you'll receive it on your parchment? That's brilliant!"

"Yes, Harry. That is how it works. And feel free to do so at any time, day or night. If you wake up from a nightmare or you just feel like talking, just pick up the parchment and start writing. I'll be able to help you when you're having a hard time and you can avoid whatever it is you're trying to avoid from speaking about it." Snape stated.

Harry nodded slowly. "I'll think about it. I can't guarantee you I'll use it right now. You know, I have a few questions for you too…I _still_ don't know why you showed up at my house in the middle of the night to rescue me or how you knew I was in trouble in the first place or why you even-" Harry hesitated there. "Why you even cared." He stated clearly.

Snape nodded. "Fair enough. I am willing to answer all of your questions. Anything else?"

Harry thought for a few moments. "If I tell you something through the parchment, let's say it's something pretty awful. Will you want to talk about it the next time you see me? In person, I mean."

Snape considered this. "Well, I would like to...for your own sake. But, since you are unwilling to speak of what happened to you right now, I suppose the parchment will do. For now."

"For now, let's just use the parchment." Harry stated, obviously not wanting to talk about anything just yet.

"If for some reason, it's _me_ that is causing you to not want to talk…I can give the other piece of parchment to someone else…the werewolf perhaps? Or Black? Even the Headmaster…that is, if you so wish." Snape mustered up a smile to cover up his true feelings. He believed, deep down, that he should be the one to help Harry. Severus, too, suffered from abuse as a child. Not abuse nearly as severe as Harry's, but abuse nonetheless. He was the one who made the vow to Dumbledore, and to Lily after her death, that he would protect Harry Potter from danger. Of course, he meant the Dark Lord at the time. However, this seemed just as serious. He sat there, hoping silently that Harry wouldn't ask for him to transfer the parchment to someone else.

Harry thought about Snape's question for moment. Dumbledore_ was_ the professor he was closest to, but they rarely talked about his personal life or family issues. The headmaster usually called him into his office to discuss something related to school or Voldemort or whatever trouble Harry was finding himself in that particular week. Most recently, they had conversations about the events that took place at the Tri-Wizard tournament, Cedric's death, and Voldemort returning of course. Sirius and Remus were good choices as well, but there was something in the back of his mind that told him to keep up what he had going with Snape. He never thought he would be thinking _that_ in a million years, but the man did care enough to rescue him, help him, and get him back on his feet. He was certain Snape would keep him safe, at least until Dumbledore came back. Harry had a lump caught in his throat. He was sure the headmaster wouldn't allow him to stay at Hogwarts for the remaining three weeks of summer. That fact, Harry was certain of. Especially since Voldemort was gaining strength, Dumbledore would want Harry under the protection of his home's blood wards until school started.

"No, thanks, professor. I'm okay." Harry stated.

Relief washed over Snape's shoulders and he nodded. "Well, if you change your mind, just let me know."

Harry nodded and tucked the parchment and quill away in his pocket. He glanced at his professor and gave him a warm smile. "Thanks, sir. For everything."

Snape waved his hand as if to say he doesn't need to be thanked. "I have to brew some potions for the start of term stock. Care to join me in the lab, Potter?"

"Me?" Harry asked, bewildered. He knew Snape well enough to know that he didn't think Harry had any talent for potion making. "But you always said I was a danger to the lab, that none of my potions were even remotely drinkable-"

"Yes, Potter. Your performance in my potions class has been nothing short of _dismal_. I think you could use some summer tutoring. Do you not agree?" Snape sneered, knowing full well that Harry did not agree.

Harry nodded. "Okay, I'm up for it, professor. I could use the practice."

They went down into the lab and Severus showed Harry how to brew a proper pain relieving draft. He suspected that the vial of liquid he spotted sticking out of Harry's carry-on bag on their way from Hogwarts to London was, in fact, a pain relieving potion taken from Severus's lab. When Severus got back to the castle and checked his stores, he discovered about five vials missing. Now that he was aware of Harry's abuse, he suspected Harry was stocking up, knowing his uncle would hurt him over the summer. The thought of this made Severus sick to his stomach and he swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to convince the headmaster not to send him back there again.

Harry laid his head onto the pillow in the new bedroom Snape set up for him. He took the guest room and decorated it to fit how he thought Harry would like it. He donned the walls in red and gold and on the bed, placed a thick red blanket filled with down feathers. The room was beautiful. He had a king sized bed with practically the softest blanket he's ever felt in his life. Snuggling up inside of his new bed, he stared at the piece of parchment that lay next to him. He sat up in bed and took the quill and started writing.

Snape was lying in bed, waiting up to see if Harry would use the parchment he had given him. He kept staring at it, hoping it would glow to let him know that someone was writing to him. However, hours passed by and…nothing. Finally, he fell asleep. He was woken up by a light shining beside him. Harry was using the parchment.

Severus wiped the sleep from his eyes and gently lifted the parchment and read Harry's scrawled words.

_Professor Snape,_

_I feel funny doing this…but I thought I'd give it a go._

_Write back if you're up._

_~Harry_

* * *

><p><em>Harry,<em>

_I'm up. _

_What are you thinking about?_

* * *

><p><em>I'm thinking about the Weasleys…and how happy their family is.<em>

_I don't understand why my family is always so angry with me all the time._

_My aunt makes me do all of the housework and yard work and barely lifts a finger and then always yells at me that I'm doing it wrong. Dudley doesn't have any chores, the precious brat. He just eats all day and watches the television. I never get to watch what I want to watch or eat what I want to eat. If my uncle feels like it, he won't let me eat anything for days, sometimes an entire week. Anything he wants me to do, he threatens to take away meals to force me to do it. Usually, he takes away meals because I messed up a chore or forgot something or burned dinner. Other times, I think he likes to make me suffer for sport. The day you found me…he did that because I kept having nightmares and it was waking Dudley up every night. But, it wasn't my fault, I couldn't control them! I just watched Cedric die and found out that Voldemort came back…of course I would be having nightmares. I mean, come on. Finally, the night before they left for vacation, my uncle took me down into the basement and just started beating me…worse than any other time…he used the belt and whipped me. I was bleeding everywhere. My whole body just felt like one big broken bone._

Harry paused to wipe the wetness that was forming in his eyes. He wasn't sure if he should write the rest of what he was planning on writing, but decided he might as well.

_This time, he forced me to remove all my clothes before the beating…he never did that before. Every time he struck me, the belt stung my skin. I was covered in lashes and cuts. Usually, he only uses the belt if I've done something really bad. But, this time, I didn't do anything! I begged for him to stop, but he wouldn't. He kept calling me a filthy freak and just wouldn't stop… finally he stopped and threw me in the cupboard. Five days later, you found me. _

_I don't understand it. Do you?_

A teardrop fell from Severus's eye and onto the parchment. It soaked through and appeared on Harry's parchment as well. Harry touched the tear stain with his finger, not knowing what to think.

Then, Severus wrote:

_I don't understand either, Harry._


	5. Chapter 5

Harry and Severus spoke through the enchanted parchment every night that week. Each one of their sessions lasted about two hours, usually ending when one of them fell asleep. They never spoke about their written conversations in person, unless something particularly necessary came up that needed attention. Among these were Harry's need of proper clothing and new school robes, Ron and Hermione's potential courtship, and some school matters. Severus became increasingly dedicated to Harry's protection and found it difficult to part with Harry whenever the death eaters called upon him to join them in some twisted activity. Severus usually made excuses such as he had to brew potions for the start of term or that Dumbledore was keeping him busy during the summer. He was growing curious as to why the Dark Lord hadn't been summoning him himself, a fact that made Severus both glad and nervous at the same time. He knew his role as a "spy" kept him free of most meetings since the Dark Lord knew his absence would cause suspicion with the Order. Oftentimes, he didn't have to worry about being summoned. Once a week, he was required to report to Voldemort and give information, but lately he has not been summoned for that either. Something was amiss, but Severus was not sure exactly what was happening.

Dumbledore was still gone, but would be returning in a couple of days. Snape had owled him assuring that Harry was alright and was staying at Hogwarts in his personal quarters. He didn't go into too many details about what happened or what exactly he saw when he went to the Dursleys. He did mention that the muggles he was staying with were "unsuitable caretakers who used Potter more as a house elf than a nephew." Dumbledore expressed his deepest sorrow and said that the three of them would talk about future arrangements for Harry when he returned to the castle. Dumbledore did mention that without the protection of his home's blood wards, Harry would not be as safe from an attack, even if he was at Hogwarts. Although Severus understood this fact, he could not ever allow Harry to be sent back to the Dursleys-not after seeing what he saw when he opened the cupboard. The image of the young boy, beaten to a pulp and tossed aside like yesterday's trash, was enough to break even the coldest stone heart.

One rather uneventful evening, Severus was staring out into the fireplace, a half-unread book atop his lap, and watched as Harry slept soundly just a few feet in front of him next to the radiating warmth of his hearth. A golden glow from the flames stretched across Harry's delicate features, highlighting the rise and fall of his gentle breathing. Even though he and Harry still had their share of arguments and Snape was still…well, Snape…a comfortable understanding had developed between the two that Severus hadn't felt in years, with anybody. Harry had Ron and Hermione to lean on when things were tough. However, Harry did have to put up a certain amount of falsity with his friends just to maintain harmony. They never truly understood what Harry was going through. Sure, they told him they did, but then Hermione would start going off about how important their studies were and Ron would start making jokes about something and it seemed as though Harry was alone again…misunderstood and alone.

However, Snape knew what the Dark Lord was capable of just as Harry knew. They both understood the severity and seriousness of the matter, but neither of them knew what to do about it. Severus just kept spying for Dumbledore, going to death eater meetings when forced to go and kept Harry in hiding under the constant security of the castle. The staff had secured the castle with extra wards since the incident at the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Merlin knows, the boy could use all the protection he could get.

Severus noticed the boy begin to stir and tremble in his sleep and realized that he hadn't slipped any dreamless sleeping potion into the boy's tea that evening. He had been trying to spare the boy any nightmares since he rescued him from his uncle's home by slipping him sleeping potion every night. He had heard of the notorious nightmares while the boy was in school and he knew the child's healing body was in no condition to put up with that. Snape cursed himself for forgetting it that night and watched as the boy's muscles began to tense up. When the tremors began to take hold, Snape couldn't stand to watch it any longer and went over and shook the boy's shoulders.

"No! No! Uncle Vernon...no, not that…no…", the boy screamed in pain while still dreaming. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead and then rolled down his cheeks. "I don't want to! No! Please…please stop…". Harry's face turned a bright shade of red and tears began to stream down his face. "No! I said no!"

"Harry! Harry, Wake up! It's me. It's Professor Snape. You're not at your uncle's. You're at Hogwarts. You're safe…Harry, wake up…" Snape spoke in a firm, yet gentle way and continued to try to rouse Harry out of his nightmarish vision. Harry slowly opened his eyes, rubbed them with his fingers, and reached for his glasses. Severus handed the boy his frames and tilted his head to the side to show concern. "Do you require a sleeping potion, Potter? Surely these nightmares are not conducive to your body's healing."

Harry nodded. "Please, sir. Thank you."

Snape nodded and left the room to retrieve the potion.

When he returned, Harry downed the potion swiftly and nodded. "Thank you again, sir."

Snape sighed. "Potter, there is no need to 'sir' me to death. School is not in session."

Harry's eyes widened a little in surprise. Usually Snape was hollering that he was not receiving enough respect from Harry. This was surely an unexpected turnaround. "Sorry, si-". He blushed. "I mean sorry…Professor."

The professor gave him a half-smile, which was more than usual. Once Harry's eyes were closed, Severus reached over and draped the soft, plaid blanket back over Harry's body, even tucking the edges into the couch to assure he was fully covered. Snape had said earlier that evening that he didn't want Harry catching a cold given his current state. Harry's eyes were closed, but he was not yet asleep. As he felt Snape wrap the blanket around him, he felt a warm tingling feeling bubble up inside of him at the gesture, but did not remark on it. He simply smiled to himself and silently wished his professor a good night. He sank deeply into the soft, down pillow and drifted off into a dreamless, nightmare-free slumber.

The next morning, Harry woke up to the sound of Frances hooting merrily besides the hearth. Even though he had his own room now in Snape's quarters, he still preferred sleeping on the couch, across from the fireplace. It made his bruises feel somehow better when there was a constant warmth beating over them.

Harry rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and greeted the friendly owl. "Morning, Frances. Did you sleep well?"

The owl squawked loudly and flapped her wings rapidly, her giant black eyes staring at Harry. _Hoot hoot_.

"Me too. Haven't felt this rested in ages." Harry smiled and went over to the owl's cage. He didn't know if it would be alright with Snape to let the owl out and fly around the inside of his quarters, but she was a wizard's owl. Usually wizard's owls were not confined to their cages since they often would carry post and messages with them to other witches and wizards. Harry felt sad that Frances was always inside of her cage, but he didn't want to jinx the rather harmonious relationship he had begun to develop with Snape. Harry tiptoed out of the living room and snuck his head inside of Snape's bedroom (an area Harry was told he was _not _permitted to go in). Snape appeared to be sound asleep, his chest rhythmically moving up and down. Harry giggled slightly at the sight of Snape without his school clothes on. He was wearing a black tee with a long black silken bathrobe. Even though it resembled his usual attire, it made Harry smile to see the man without his school robes on. He looked so human, so vulnerable, without them. Deciding that Snape wouldn't be waking up any time soon, he went back to the owl, who began to hoot and flap her wings at the sight of Harry's return.

"Ok, Frances. I'm gonna let you out, but you have to very, very quiet, alright? I don't want to wake up Professor Snape." Harry smiled and unlatched the owl's cage door. Frances cocked her head to the side and looked up at Harry with curiosity and cautiously stuck her head out. Then, she let out a frightened hoot and retreated back to her perch.

Harry arched his eyebrows with concern and shook his head. "No Frances, you can _leave_ the cage, its okay. Come on. You can fly around." Harry stuck his arm inside the cage in hopes that Frances would hop on, but she wouldn't budge. Harry was disappointed that the owl didn't seem to want to leave her cage, but he assumed that she was just scared.

"Didn't Snape ever let you out before?" He muttered to himself and walked towards the kitchen, deliberately leaving the owl's door opened. Snape had told Harry he could help himself to anything in the kitchen, so Harry began rummaging around for something to eat. As he was reaching for the bread, he accidentally knocked over a rather odd looking vase that was always resting on the countertop. The vase contained yellow lilies and dark purple violets. Ever since Harry had been staying down here, he noticed that the flowers never seemed to fade or die, which he thought was rather curious.

As he watched the vase smash to the ground, he began involuntarily convulsing in fear of what might happen when Snape found out. Whenever he knocked something over or broke something at home, he was severely punished each time by his uncle. He kept trying to calm himself down by telling himself that Snape would not physically hurt him as a punishment. After a few moments, his spasms subsided. He couldn't stand to see the broken vase on the ground, so he began to pick up the broken pieces of glass through tear-stained eyes. As he was picking them up, his fingers and toes began to get small cuts in them. He was so overwhelmed with fear and guilt, that he completely forgot the spell he could have used to piece the vase back together.

_SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP_

_Smash._ Snape awoke with a start when he heard the sound of glass breaking. Quickly getting into his proper clothes, he left his room immediately to check his potion stores. Potion bottles would often break inside of his stores, so he assumed it was one of them. When he entered the room, everything appeared to be intact, so he left his stores and went into the kitchen. His heart nearly stopped when he saw Harry kneeling on the floor, surrounded by hundreds of pieces of broken glass. The boy looked crazed as he was manically trying to pick up the pieces. Severus leapt over to him and lifted him up off the ground.

"What are you _doing_? Stop that at once!" Snape growled and examined the boy's hands, only to see about a dozen glass cuts. He sighed in annoyance. "Move over there. _Now_." Snape bellowed at Harry and motioned for him to move away from the glass. Harry was shaking violently, but he obliged. Snape whisked his wand with a nonchalant wave and instantly, the broken pieces of glass melded together and formed a perfect vase once again. The water floated through the air and landed back in its rightful place. Lastly, the flowers were placed inside the vase exactly as they had been ten minutes prior to the accident.

After the vase was back together, Snape casted Harry a knowing look.

"Why didn't you just come and get me?" Snape sighed, as he took a few medical supplies out of his cabinet to clean Harry's cuts. "Sit."

"I thought I wasn't _allowed _in your room."Harry protested, all previous fears of potential abuse subsiding at the sight of Snape preparing to heal his cuts.

Snape gave Harry one of his classic Snape glances. "If you do recall correctly, I instructed you to come and get me if you ever needed any help. Did I not?"

Harry sat down and showed Snape his hands and feet. Snape dipped a cotton swab in some disinfectant and began to skillfully clean his cuts, occasionally having to remove bits of glass with great precision. Once all the glass was removed, Severus gently rubbed healing balm on each of Harry's hands and feet, before carefully wrapping them up in soft, white gauze that cushioned his skin. For a fleeting moment, Harry had the odd sensation of being no more than five years old. He felt a flutter in the pit of his stomach for a brief moment and blinked.

Snape taped the gauze securely around his last injured limb and smirked. "Feel better?"

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to break your vase. It won't happen again, I swear."

Severus sighed. "I'm not mad at you for breaking the vase. I'm mad that you thought you had to pick up the broken glass with your fingers. What did you think I wanted you to do? Glue it back together?"

"My uncle would have made me pick it up." Harry muttered so softly, Snape could barely hear him.

"Your uncle is an imbecile." Snape said matter-of-factly. "When will they return from vacation, by the way? I fancy paying them a little visit." Snape stated evilly. "I would love to give them a taste of their own medicine."

Harry shook his head. "I'd rather you didn't. I just want to be done with them. What's done is done, just leave them alone."

"Did your uncle ever leave _you_ alone when you asked him to stop?" Snape growled angrily, knowing the answer. "When you _begged_ for mercy, did he stop? When you asked him to spare your owl, did _he_ stop?"

The mention of Hedwig stabbed painfully at his heart. Harry stared ahead, but didn't look into Snape's eyes. He noticed Frances still sitting in her cage with the door open, hooting softly to herself. "Why won't Frances leave her cage?" He asked suddenly. "I left the door opened, but she refuses to leave. She seems scared for some reason. Didn't you ever let her out?"

Stunned by the out of the blue question, it took Snape a few moments to answer. "If you must know, I rescued Frances from someone else's home. She was being….uncared for. Somewhat abused. Since I brought her here, she rarely leaves her cage. I used to try to coax her out, but after a few years, I gave up."

Harry turned and looked into Severus's eyes. "So, me and Frances have quite a bit in common then."

Severus nodded and smiled weakly. "Frances is a very friendly owl, but she gets scared. I thought maybe if I gave her to you, you could help her. You have a knack for that sort of thing, am I right?" Severus smirked and suddenly it was no longer awkward between the two.

Harry sighed. "I want to try to make her come out. She needs to fly around. It's unnatural to be kept in a cage like that."

Snape nodded. "She is allowed to fly freely. I have no objection. Just please don't send her out with any post to deliver. She won't know her way back. You may use my other owl, Eileen, for that. If you wish to write your friends, I can bring Eileen here. Or you can use a Hogwarts owl for that."

Harry perked up. "You have two owls? You never struck me as such an animal lover, Professor."

Severus cast Harry an annoyed glance and rolled his eyes. "Yes, I have two owls. Eileen doesn't usually stay with me at Hogwarts though. She is taken care of by a house elf at my family's home."

Harry took in that information with great interest. He had never thought of Snape as having an actual _home_ other than his quarters in the dungeons. He wondered what Snape's real home looked like. Probably a lot like his quarters did. Dark, warm colors, bookcases lined up along the walls, a potions lab, an old-fashioned fireplace, and a decently stocked whiskey collection. Harry smiled at the thought.

Snape shook his head. "What on Earth are you smiling about, Potter?"

Harry snapped out of his imagination. "Nothing, Professor. Just thinking."

"I think it's time you started _thinking_ about your summer reading now that your body has mostly healed." Severus stated, stirring his tea. "Now that you aren't with those beasts you call your relatives, maybe you'll have more energy to focus on your studies."

Harry nodded. "Alright. I'll need to get my books then."

"Shall we make a trip to Diagon Alley tomorrow?" Snape asked. "You need new clothes as well, Potter. Those rags in your trunk are absolutely dreadful. And they are at least five sizes too large."

Harry shrugged. "I have my school uniform and robes."

Severus sighed. "You need proper clothes. We'll go tomorrow if you're feeling up to it. If your body is still in pain, we'll postpone the trip until you fully recover."

Harry smiled inwardly at the man's concern. _What has gotten into him?_

Severus continued. "I have another announcement. The headmaster will return tonight. He wishes to speak to you immediately about your ordeal." Severus hesitated and looked into those bright green eyes. "Just between us…I must insist you be firm with him. Tell him you refuse to go back to your aunt and uncle's. I've already told him such myself, but he is stubborn. He believes you will not be fully protected anywhere else besides your aunt's house. "

Harry suddenly looked very worried. "Sir, where am I going to go if I don't go back to the Dursleys? What's going to happen to me?"

Severus sighed. "We'll figure something out. For now, I think the castle is the safest place. Usually, I go to my home at the end of the summer to unwind a bit." Severus paused and wrung his hands nervously. "As much as I loathe to admit it, I welcome you to join me. You'll be safe there. I have a large library where you can study. No one will be in the castle at that time. It wouldn't be safe for you to stay here without any protection."

Harry's eyes glinted with appreciation and then smirked. "Wow, Snape. You really turned into a softee, haven't you? I thought you couldn't stand the students."

Snape looked horrified at himself. "I suppose so. I must admit, I am surprising even myself. Usually I have nothing but disdain for children."

Harry smiled. "But, you care, don't you? Otherwise you wouldn't be a teacher." Harry giggled as Snape glared at him. "Don't worry, sir. I won't tell."

"Enough of this analysis. Care to join me in the lab until the Headmaster get here? The calming draught you made yesterday was almost passable. Maybe today we can make something I can actually _use_."

Harry's eye lit up. "Really, sir?"

Snape smirked. "I said _almost_ passable, Potter. You still have a lot of work to do."


	6. Chapter 6

Severus sat there, twiddling his thumbs nervously as he sat outside of Dumbledore's office. Harry was inside, explaining everything that had happened over the past week to his favorite headmaster-well, not everything. Harry told Snape that he was not planning to divulge everything that happened just yet. Harry looked so very excited to see Albus, both of their eyes twinkling like always. Snape rolled his eyes in apparent disgust. Even though Severus did not wish to admit it, a pang of jealousy stung at him when he saw the glow on Harry's face when the headmaster greeted him. He tried to push it away from his mind for the moment; for fear that he was losing his marbles. He told himself that he did not care who Harry Potter had affections for. He pushed the apparently insane thoughts away and tried to focus on what to do with the boy. Surely he could not live at Hogwarts forever. He thought of possibly letting the boy fend for himself, after all Harry was heir to the Potter fortune and had quite a reasonable amount of money, but then again he didn't think the boy should live on his own so early in life. He had only just turned fifteen this July, not even three weeks ago. A fifteen year old boy should not be left to his own devices. Severus shuddered at the idea. He barely had any guidance as it was, living with those mongrels. He arched his head and looked at the door to Dumbledore's office. They had been in there for over an hour. He glanced at his watch: half past eleven in the evening. _Good gracious_, he thought.

Finally, Harry and Dumbledore appeared from the headmaster's office. Severus nodded at Dumbledore and motioned to Harry that he would bring them back to the dungeons, when the older man stopped him.

"My dear Severus, might I have a word?" Dumbledore said quietly. Then he turned back to Harry. "Harry, why don't you go back to your room now? I have to speak with Professor Snape for a little while. Go on."

Harry nodded. "Alright. See you later, Professor."

Dumbledore smiled at Snape and gestured towards his office. "After you, my boy."

Severus gave the headmaster a curt nod and took a seat in the chair Harry so often occupied. The chair Severus had sat in many a night when he couldn't sleep. The same seat where Snape had received the most terrible news on more than one occasion.

"Good evening, Headmaster. How was your meeting with Potter?" Snape asked casually.

Dumbledore shook his head sadly and looked down at his hands. "Severus, I'm afraid to say that the boy's condition is far worse than I had expected. Even though it would be best in terms of protection, he simply cannot go back to his relatives' home. I fear another summer like the one he's had this year may permanently damage him."

Severus nodded, thinking silently-_Hadn't it already permanently damaged him?_

"I agree, Headmaster." Snape conceded. A silence rested over the two for a few moments. "What about the muggles?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Whatever do you mean, Severus?"

Snape glared. "Are you planning to let them go unpunished?"

Dumbledore's face was glowing again. "I was hoping you were planning a visit to Surrey in the near future." He paused. "Do as you wish, Severus. Just make sure they are still breathing when you're finished. Keep in mind, they do have a child."

Severus wanted to scream that they have no business having a child with the way they behaved, but he restrained. "And what about the boy? Where will he be staying over the holidays?"

Dumbledore scratched his head. "What do you recommend, Severus?"

Snape didn't answer for a long while. "At the risk of sounding like I actually care…I did invite the boy to stay in my home until term resumes. Strictly because he simply has nowhere else to go. He cannot stay in the castle unsupervised. He hasn't given me a straight answer yet, but I assume he will agree."

Dumbledore nodded. "That's quite noble of you, Severus. However, what will we do about a more… permanent arrangement for the child?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded with his eyes closed. "I will talk to Potter about all of his possible living arrangements. After all he's been through, I think he deserves some choice in the matter, don't you think?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Very well, Severus. For the time being, I trust you'll watch over him. I do ask that you try to go easy on him. I know you don't have the most patience for the child. However, given what he's been through…"

Snape nodded curtly. "I am trying."

Dumbledore smiled. "I know, Severus. I'm sure Harry does appreciate it."

Severus let out a dark laugh and spoke coldly. "I doubt it, Headmaster. The boy may be hurting now, but he'll be back to his insolent little self in due time." He looked down at his lap and began fiddling with a button on his shirt, not wishing to meet Dumbledore's all-knowing eyes.

Dumbledore smiled sadly at the younger wizard. "Still only seeing what you want to see, Severus?"

Snape continued to stare at his lap, lazily picking at the button of his shirt.

Dumbledore continued. "I thought perhaps spending all of this time alone with Harry would have changed your perception a little. Has it not?"

Severus sighed and paused for a small while. "I _am_ trying, sir." Severus looked slightly uncomfortable. "If you _must_ know, I gave him the other piece of my enchanted parchment. The one you gave me when I was in 4th year. We've been…writing to each other. I thought it might help him open up about his past."

Dumbledore arched his eyebrows in surprise. "How very kind of you, Severus. I hope it helps Harry as much as it helped you."

Severus sneered at that comment. "Well, somebody has to do it! It doesn't seem as though anyone else gives a damn about the boy. It is out of pure necessity that I'm even bothering with this nonsense. I don't wish to teach any scarred, angsty teenagers next term. It is _necessary_. That is all."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled again with that unmistakable shine. "Of course it is, Severus."

_SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP_

Harry and Severus were strolling along Diagon Alley at about three pm in the afternoon the following day, Harry excitedly pointing out everything of interest to him, much to the disdain of one Severus Snape. Even though it was August, the weather was not very warm. Snape did not don his usual dress robes on this particular day, merely the simple black button down shirt he always seemed to wear and black dress pants. Harry wore the only two decent-fitting items in his wardrobe, a burgundy tee shirt and faded blue jeans.

Snape was beginning to get annoyed at Harry's constant enthusiasm for everything that they passed. "Merlin's sake, Potter…you act as though you've never been here before. Control yourself!" Snape growled unpleasantly at Harry.

Harry looked away sheepishly. "Sorry, Professor. I usually only come here once a year before the start of the term."

"Surely, you've come here during the school year for those dreadful field trips they always somehow talk me into chaperoning." Snape shuddered to himself, as if remembering a truly disgusting day out with the children.

Harry shook his head and let out a dark laugh. "My uncle would never sign the permission slips. I asked Professor McGonagall to let me go anyway, but she's such a stickler for the rules."

Snape groaned. "When are they coming back again, Potter? Pardon my French, but I simply cannot wait to wring the fat out of your obese uncle's neck."

Harry sighed and stated adamantly. "I told you…I don't know."

His eyes lit up at his next sight. "Look at that, Professor! A box of toads!" Harry exclaimed when he saw a rather greasy looking bum holding a box of extra large toads with a sign that read "Toads for Sale".

"Those things are _less_ than attractive, Potter." Snape sneered.

The bum grinned when he saw Harry. "Hey there, boy! Wanna buy a toad?"

Harry beamed. "Definitely! How much?"

Snape groaned again. "Potter…what do you need a bloody toad for? They're absolutely vile…and they have the most unpleasant odor." He wafted the air away from his nose to make his point clear.

The bum smiled and displayed a few missing teeth. The ones he did have were a bit discolored. Completely ignoring the comment from Snape, he turned towards the boy. "My goodness, young man…you're Harry Potter, aren't you? For you, Harry…I'd say…5 galleons? I can go less if you'd like."

Harry nodded. "I'll have to stop at Gringotts first to get some money, but I'll be back later for sure."

Snape sighed and thought for a moment. He looked at Harry's innocent face and felt the sensation of nagging heartstrings get the better of him for what seemed like the hundredth time that week. "Potter, you don't need to go to Gringotts. I'll buy you the blasted toad, but only after we pick up your books and go clothes shopping _first_."

Harry smiled. "Thanks, Professor. But, don't I need to go to Gringotts anyway? I don't have any money on me for the books or clothes or anything."

Snape considered this for a moment. "Potter…do you usually pay for your own schoolbooks?"

Harry nodded. "Every year."

"Potter, let me buy you the books and the clothes this year. It's the least someone could do for you after what… happened." Snape conceded.

Harry went to protest. "Professor, I-"

Snape abruptly covered Harry's mouth with his hand. "This time, Potter. I _insist_. Do you want to argue with me? I can guarantee it will be most unpleasant on your end."

Snape's hand was still firmly, but gently, clasped over Harry's mouth. Harry shook his head to signal a 'no'.

Snape let go and smirked. "There's something you should know about me, Potter. I _always_ win." He paused. "So, where to, then?"

Harry scratched his head. "Well, usually I go to the uniform store, to get my school robes."

Snape sighed. "What about regular clothes, Potter?"

Harry shrugged. "I never really went before. I have some clothes from Mrs. Weasley and some hand-me-downs from Dudley...and of course my school uniform and robes. That's about it."

Snape shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if in agony. "Come with me."

He grabbed Harry's arm and they walked to the outside of a clothing store. It was filled with nearly every kind of fashion one could think of. Snape brought Harry in and he noticed the boy touching a lot of things, stroking the materials, and considering some items, but not taking anything off of the racks.

"Do you know your measurements, Potter?" Snape finally asked, highly annoyed at the prolonged spectacle in front of him.

Harry blushed. "No, sir."

Snape grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him towards the female attendant, who promptly began measuring Harry. After Harry found out his measurements, he went wild with happiness, picking out everything to his heart's content. At first, he felt too bad that Snape was paying for it and tried to restrict himself accordingly, but after Severus had assured Harry that he has more than enough money to supply a teenage boy with some proper clothes, Harry started trying everything on in a whirlwind. They finally left the store a few hours later with bags and bags of new clothing items for Harry and even a new shirt for Snape (standard button-down black, of course). As they were walking back, they passed by the bum again. There was one toad left in the box. Harry looked up at Snape expectantly.

Snape sighed and looked at the bum with disgust in his eyes. "How much again? For the toad?"

The bum wrinkled his brow. "For _you_?"

He glared at the other man with obvious disdain. "Yes, who else?" Was Snape's overly curt reply.

The bum considered Snape for a moment. "For you…30 galleons!" The bum snickered gleefully and took a giant swig out of a flask. Snape guessed it wasn't pumpkin juice.

Snape rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath. "This is ridiculous…" He looked over at Harry and saw him eyeing the toad with longing. Snape begrudgingly obliged and handed the man the 30 galleons. The man handed Harry his new toad and Snape watched as his eyes lit up with the simple joy only a boy of his age could possibly manage. In a couple of years, Snape presumed, his eyes wouldn't be lighting up that way anymore from such simple pleasures as a new pet.

The pair needed to eat after such a long day, so they stopped by the Leaky Cauldron. They saw a few Hogwarts professors there who looked skeptically at the pair. It was not very often Harry and Snape were seen together in or out of school.

As they were eating their dinner, Snape watched as Harry kept sticking his fingers inside the toad's box.

"Potter, you keep touching that thing and then touching your food. Please try to restrain yourself." Snape said in a tone of disgust.

Harry blushed. "Sorry, sir."

A few minutes passed in silence. Snape cleared his throat. "Well, aren't you going to give him a name?" He was trying his best to converse with the boy about the new pet. "The toad, I mean."

"Yes…but I don't think you'll like it very much." Harry answered quietly.

Severus frowned and wrinkled his brow. "Why won't I like it?"

Harry blushed lightly and shrugged. "Because I want to name him after you, sir."

Snape groaned. "Only you, Potter…" He sighed. "Why on Earth would you want to do such a thing?"

Harry grinned. "Well, you bought him for me when I _knew_ you didn't want to. And 30 galleons for a toad! Merlin…that was a rip off."

Snape stopped eating and rolled his eyes. "You aren't going to name the blasted toad 'Professor Snape', are you? And insult my family's name?"

"Well-" Harry started.

"There is no need to condemn the poor thing to a worse fate than it already has coming…first that vile man and now _you_ as a caretaker. If that thing had any brains at all, it would have jumped out of that box immediately." Snape barked with pretend anger in his voice.

Harry shrugged and considered Snape's suggestion. "Well, no. I thought maybe Sev-hmm, no. I'm not sure yet. I suppose a pet toad can't have a name like 'Professor Snape'…that would be a bit mental...toads can't be professors."

"This conversation is mental." Snape responded. "Dare I venture to say, I might be having more stimulating conversation with Mr. Longbottom were he here. That doesn't say much for you, does it?"

"You started it!" Harry retorted.

Snape chuckled. A _real _chuckle. Harry looked up at him in shock. He had never heard such a genuine laugh from the man. "Alright, Potter. You win."

They finished eating in a calm silence, and then they stepped into the floo inside the Leaky Cauldron and were instantly back into Snape's quarters.

When they got back to the castle, Harry put on his pajamas and curled himself on the couch next to the warmth of the fireplace. He opened his new transfiguration textbook for next year and tried to start reading the first chapter. Harry's new toad was hopping around on the table, letting out a ribbit every now and then. Between the sounds of his new toad and the soft hooting of his new owl, Harry fell asleep after only reading a few paragraphs of his new book. Snape came out of his lab only to find Harry again sleeping in front of the hearth for the third night in a row.

Snape leaned over Harry's sleeping body and once again draped the blanket over his body and gently removed his book. He saw Harry's body wince at the gesture and his eyes briefly fluttered.

"Why don't you go sleep in your room, Harry?" Snape asked gently. Receiving no response, he awkwardly poked him. "Harry?"

Harry opened his eyes a little. "Mm…like the fire."

Snape nodded. "Well, tomorrow we'll be going to my home, Prince Manor. Your room there will have its own fireplace."

Harry shook his head, but was too drowsy to open his eyes. "I like the living room…feel safe here."

"You're safe in your room as well." Snape said softly. "Why would you think otherwise?"

Harry breathed in and out deeply as though he was asleep, but then mumbled. "No locks in the living room."

Snape was taken aback. "Harry, I would never lock you in your room. Harry?" He nudged him again. "Potter? Potter!"

It was too late, the boy was knocked out for the night.

Perplexed, Severus _nox_ed the lights out and went to sleep, not knowing what to make of Harry's last comment.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Severus sat by the fireplace in the early AM, intently watching the overtired boy as he slept, his hair fallen over the couch cushion in wild disarray. He wondered if the boy understood the implications of what he divulged while he was half asleep the night before or if he even remembered doing so at all. The boy looked cozy and peaceful as he slept, his body seeming completely at rest, but Severus knew better. Sighing, he glanced over at Frances. Her cage door was still open, but she still would not venture outside. Snape reached inside the cage and pet the bird gently. Frances nudged Snape's finger playfully with her beak and hooted softly in approval. He attempted to make Frances step onto his arm by pressing it up against her belly, so he could bring her outside the cage. She daringly placed one shaky foot on his arm, but then got scared and stepped back. As if now suddenly alarmed at Snape's presence, she squawked loudly until he removed his arm, then she gradually calmed down.

Severus sighed again, glancing away from the bird back to Harry, who stirred in his sleep from the noise Frances was making. Harry's eyes fluttered open a few brief moments later, revealing glassy green orbs riddled with sleep. Severus was a tough man who did not waste his emotions on just anybody, so the fact that Harry's green eyes seemed to tug at his heart every time he saw them, especially in the morning, confused Severus. Even more perplexing, he found himself wondering more and more about the boy's abuse. Clearly, after what Harry told him the night before, there was something more to it that Harry was not telling Severus. How there could possibly be _more_ than what he had seen, Severus did not know.

"Good morning, Potter." Snape said in his characteristic cold tone, although he was feeling anything but. "Sleep well? I know how fond you are of my fireplace."

Harry was still exhausted, so he merely nodded and let out a long yawn. "Mmmhmm." He mumbled lazily. He then realized that Snape had been watching him sleep. "Were you watching me sleep? That's a bit creepy." Harry smiled though, to show he didn't truly mean the words he said.

Snape frowned at the accusation. "I absolutely was _not_. It so happens that I came in to turn on the fireplace and feed the owl. Believe it or not, I have no desire to look at you any time, be it asleep or awake. I am not as enamored with celebrity as everyone else seems to be."

Harry scowled at him.

"Now get up, Potter, we're switching locations today. Up and Adam." Snape urged.

Harry had gotten used to Snape's snarky comments and didn't dwell over them so much now. They no longer ignited fierce anger inside of him that they once had since he now knew that they didn't come from such a bad place. Snape was not, by any means, the most friendly person nor the easiest to please. But, he was a good person. Harry knew that. Merely two weeks ago, he would have been livid at a comment like that from his professor, but now it just amused him. It made him want to egg Snape on even further just to get his humorous reaction. However, he was much too sleepy to do that this morning. He yawned again and started to close his eyes to catch a snoozer before he got up for real.

Snape shook his head when he saw Harry's eyes beginning to close. "Not today, Potter. We will head to my home before noon. Rise and shine." Snape waited for the boy's eyes to open, much to his dismay when they did not. Finally, he ripped the blanket off of him in one abrupt movement, which made Harry surprisingly giggle with delight.

"Go get dressed, you have plenty of new clothes." Snape said. "I'll prepare us some breakfast. Now get up." Harry still laid there motionless, a small smile ready to dance on his lips. "Potter, I will not repeat myself again. Get up. _Now_." Snape snarled, bending over in the boy's face. This time, Snape spoke in a tone that told Harry he better obey the man or else.

"Alright, alright." Harry said as he sat up and stretched. "I'm up."

"So nice of you to grace us with your presence. Now _move_." Snape replied coldly. He seemed to be in a foul mood this morning, thought Harry.

When Harry returned, ready and dressed, they ate a breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and fruit before heading to Prince Manor. Soon after breakfast, Harry grabbed hold of Snape's hand and they both instantly apparated out of the house.

Prince Manor was protected by several wards and it was not possible to apparate directly there or use the floo to access the house. To access the house, they needed to apparate near the house and walk there. Once they passed through the wards, Harry was able to see the full extent of the house. Gigantic didn't even begin to cover it. The home was extremely large and consisted of a long, winding path leading up to the doorway. Several ornately crafted gargoyles lined the windows and doorway, not to mention the artfully designed shrubbery that rested against the first floor windows.

"This is your house?" Harry asked in shock. "The one _you_ live in?"

Snape sighed at the redundant question from his charge. "No, Potter, I thought since we have so much time on our hands, that I would take you on a little detour through the neighbor's yard. Isn't it lovely?" Snape snapped before pausing. When all he received was an angry look from Harry, he continued. "What do you think?" Snape answered the boy's silent question. "Of course it is. Come with me, I'll show you where you'll be staying."

As they walked up the dirt path, Harry stared up at the magnificent home in awe. "I just didn't picture it being this…huge. I mean, it's _really_ huge."

"Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Potter. So few people bother to notice the _hugeness_ of the house anymore." Snape said in his staple sarcastic tone. "Never mind the detailed design or the meticulously crafted sculptures; I agree that the _hugeness_ is the real achievement in masonry here."

Harry was becoming annoyed at Snape's consistently snarky tones this morning. He didn't understand what it is he had done wrong. Harry stopped in his tracks. "Did I do something wrong? You seem really angry with me today, but I don't know what I did. Just tell me now so we can get this over with."

Severus turned around and observed the rather crushed expression in the boy's green eyes. Sadness and anger seemed to be rivaling in boy's features, but sadness was winning overwhelmingly. Suddenly, the memory of the boy's rescue rushed back into his mind involuntarily. He was seeing a flashback of himself crouching down inside of a cupboard, holding his half-dead student in his hands, his body naked, cold, and bloodied. His only fear in that small moment was that he wouldn't be able to save him-that he wouldn't be able to save Lily's son.

He looked down at the ground and shook his head sadly. Then, he looked back up and was met with the same expression from Harry-anger and sadness coupled with confusion. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. I apologize for giving you that impression."

Harry was surprised at his professor's reaction. Given his foul mood today, Harry was expecting a harsh backlash. "It's alright, sir. I should have woken up earlier."

Snape sighed. "Potter, the house isn't going anywhere. It's been here for over a hundred years. I'm not mad that you were tired this morning." He closed his eyes for a brief moment and spoke gently. "I'm upset about something else entirely. Now please follow me."

They entered the house and immediately Harry was overjoyed that there was a great big hearth in the living room. Harry saw that Snape had already sent their belongings over earlier that day. He didn't know how the man did it since apparating was not possible. He reminded himself to ask him about it later. Snape brought Harry upstairs and showed him to his bedroom. The bed was large and, unlike the one in Snape's quarters, was your typical Slytherin green and black, which was fine with Harry since it was better than anything he had ever received at the Dursleys.

"Thanks, Professor. It looks great. I really appreciate it." Harry said, meaning it. Snape nodded in response and stood idly in the doorway. Harry glanced over and saw that there was a gigantic fireplace by the window. He smiled to himself; thinking that he wished Vernon and Petunia could see him now. He turned around and noticed Snape fiddling with a lock and hinge that was on the top of the door. Harry's insides flipped involuntarily at the image of Snape touching and fondling the lock. Harry's imagination got the best of him and in his eyes; it appeared as though Snape was eyeing the lock longingly. Harry's thin body gave him the signal that he was about to become violently ill and expel his breakfast, but he tried to push it away. He knew that the thought was absurd. Snape would never lock him in the room. Even if he was a git at times, he would never do something like that. _Or would he? _Harry wondered. He shook his head, trying to vanquish the idea from his mind. He slowly sat down on the bed and ran a shaky hand through his hair. _Breathe in, breathe out_.

Snape took his eyes off of the lock and watched Harry closely, studying the child's reaction carefully. Harry's face became discolored instantly and his body shook as he watched the older man touch the lock. He took his hand off of the door and with a whisk of his wand, the lock disappeared. Harry heard the spell being cast and immediately looked up. The lock was gone. Harry's body softened and relaxed, no longer having the instinct to cry out or throw up. He stared into Snape's eyes for only a few moments before looking down sheepishly into his lap.

Harry didn't want to bring it up, so he didn't ask. Snape, in turn, didn't offer an explanation and it did not seem as though he was going to do so any time soon. Severus calmly helped Harry unpack his things, then told Harry that if he needed him, he would be in the potions lab. Harry had no idea where the potions lab was just yet, but he just nodded. Harry figured they would discuss the lock through the parchment that evening, which was more than fine with him as long as he didn't have to explain it in person.

_SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP_

Harry wandered downstairs an hour or so later to check out the rest of the house. He found the kitchen and to his surprise, saw a house elf wearing a pink dress. She was sweeping the floor while singing softly to herself. Harry walked over to her. "Hi there." Harry said.

The elf practically jumped out of her skin at the sudden startle. "Oh my goodness! Daphne was so scared! Usually she doesn't hear any voices other than Master Snape."

Harry smiled. "Hello, Daphne. I'm Harry. Harry Potter." He extended his hand for the elf to shake, but she just squealed with pleasure instead.

Daphne's face lit up in excitement. "Oh, Harry Potter! Of course you are! Master Snape _said_ he was bringing a boy here to stay with him and that the boy's name was _Harry Potter_. I thought that was most peculiar of Master Snape. See, he never has any visitors here at Prince Manor. It gets awfully lonely here sometimes and Daphne doesn't like to be alone for too long." She shook her head fiercely as she went back to her sweeping. "No, not for too long…no."

She reminded him a lot of Dobby, which made Harry smile. "Well, nice to meet you, Daphne. For the record, I don't think anybody likes to be alone for too long. I can imagine you get lonely here. Snape is always at school, isn't he?"

Daphne nodded mournfully. "Master Snape is always at school. He is too busy for Daphne most of the time. Sometimes, Master Snape comes home though and talks to Daphne." She paused as though considering whether to speak further. Then, she giggled suddenly. "Sometimes, Master Snape has too much to drink and talks a _lot_ more to Daphne about the most curious things…"

Harry laughed at the image of a drunken Snape ranting about his 'dunderhead students' to a house elf. Daphne was quiet for a moment. "Master Snape is very good to us elves, but don't tell him Daphne said that. Master Snape has some bad friends who don't like house elves much. If they found out-" She went back to sweeping the floor for a few moments. Harry took note of how well the elf was dressed. Most elves were given old rags to wear, but Daphne had on what appeared to be a children's party dress. It was quite strange.

Harry nodded. "That's good to hear. I have a friend who's an elf."

The elf nodded in approval and then dropped her broom and peered around to see if anyone was coming, then she spoke in a whisper. "Daphne also wants to tell Harry Potter that Master Snape speaks so very highly of _him_ too!" Daphne said happily and nodded fiercely, as though agreeing with herself on the subject. "Master Snape always says Harry Potter has potential to do such great things! But…Master Snape also says that he wishes Harry Potter would try harder in school."

Harry's heart stopped for a moment and it took him a few seconds to get composure. Snape said that about him?

"Are you sure?" He asked the small, well-dressed elf. "He may have been talking about someone else. Maybe Draco Malfoy?"

Daphne shook her head and stated firmly. "No, sir. Daphne remembers he said Harry Potter's name. Daphne has a good memory, sir."

Harry, too perplexed to ask anything more on the subject, asked the elf if she wanted any help cooking dinner or finishing her chores, but she said no.

"So, does anybody else ever come up here? Any of Snape's relatives?" Harry asked, curious about Snape's family.

Daphne shook her head. "Master Snape doesn't have any relatives that come here. Master Snape has one sister, but she's—" Daphne slapped her hand over her mouth and looked around carefully to see if Snape was there. Then, she whispered to Harry again. "She's a _muggle_."

To say Harry was surprised would have been a serious understatement. Snape, the head of Slytherin house, the house notorious for favoring purebloods…had a muggle sibling? This was all becoming very weird to Harry. He started to wonder if he truly knew the man at all.

A couple of hours later, Severus Snape headed into the kitchen to find Daphne and Harry playing a game of cards. Harry appeared to be showing Daphne the rules of poker.

"Teaching my elf how to gamble, Potter?" Snape said, amused. "Or simply trying to make a quick buck?"

Daphne shook her head in disapproval of Snape's comment. "Harry Potter shouldn't listen to Master Snape. Daphne really appreciates Harry Potter teaching her how to play!"

Snape tried to hide the small smile gracing his stern face. "Daphne, have you prepared supper?"

Daphne nodded. "Yes, Master Snape. Dinner is warming in the oven, sir."

Snape nodded approvingly. "What about Mr. Potter's room? Did you bring him some fresh towels? And refresh the linens like I asked?"

Daphne nodded. "Daphne fixed Harry Potter's room yesterday, sir." Daphne continued, but was facing Harry now. She seemed to enjoy having someone else to talk to besides Snape.

"Master Snape was so very worried Harry Potter wouldn't like his room." She whispered quietly, but Harry was certain that Snape overheard her. Daphne looked pleased at having outed her master. She seemed keen on embarrassing him as much as possible, a trait Harry was sure Snape disliked.

Snape was busying himself trying to find a bottle of wine, but was eyeing the house elf. Once he found one that he deemed acceptable, he slammed it down on the table a little harder than he should have to make his point. He wanted the elf to stop embarrassing him.

Daphne continued, louder this time, much to Snape's dismay. "Master Snape _really _wants Harry Potter to like his room!"

Snape snapped his head up and looked at the house elf with a mix of anger and embarrassment glazing his eyes. "That's quite enough, Daphne. Please set the table for dinner at once. Hurry up, go on."

Harry smiled at how nervous and disgruntled Snape got when Daphne mentioned him being worried about how Harry would like his room. At this point, he believed the elf. Harry smiled down at her. "Will you be joining us for dinner, Daphne?"

Daphne dropped her cards and looked up to Snape pleadingly. Severus twisted his mouth as though he was considering his options, but nodded silently at the elf in approval.

Daphne relaxed at the sudden notion that she would, in fact, be eating. "Daphne really likes Harry Potter." She said quietly as she went to prepare the meal. "Harry Potter is so good to Daphne…yes, he is."

The elf walked away to fetch the food, talking to herself as she did so. Harry's heart got the best of him as he watched her waddle way, obviously glad to be getting dinner tonight. He wasn't a member of SPEW by any means, but he didn't think any living being should ever be denied food-especially given his own circumstances.

Harry scrunched his eyes and glared at Snape angrily. "Were you really not going to let her _eat_? That's not very nice. She did _nothing_ wrong!"

Snape sighed as he sat down across from Harry. "I've told you once and I'll tell you twice. Do not speak of things you know nothing about, Potter. It has always been your weakness."

"That's just it. I_ do _know about it. My uncle _never_ let me eat with them at the table. They made me cook all of their bloody meals for them…and what did I get? Harry, their freak nephew, was always given the leftovers, if there were any." Resentment at his uncle was growing inside of him. "Trust me, sir. Usually there weren't any."

Snape was on the verge of becoming angry, however Harry's story plucked at his heartstrings at the same time. How dare the boy accuse him of being on the same level as his blasted abusive uncle? Snape stared at him coldly, but soon recognized the hurt in Harry's eyes and decided against any kind of angry retort. "Harry, when I received Daphne through the Prince family inheritance, I told her then that she is always welcome to anything in the kitchen at any time. I would never allow her to go hungry." He paused. "But, sometimes, she likes to…put me in the spotlight. So, I don't always like to eat with her when I have company. She tends to indulge people with too much information." He paused a second time, obviously highly embarrassed. "Satisfied now, Potter?"

Harry narrowed his eyes a bit as though considering his answer, but then smiled. "Yes, sir. I'm satisfied."

Snape rolled his eyes and sat down. "Like I should care whether you are or not." He mumbled.

He uncorked a bottle of wine and poured himself a glass. Harry was only fifteen, so he didn't expect to be given a glass as well.

"Oh, thank you sir." Harry said, his cheeks turning slightly red. "I usually don't get wine at dinner."

"Consider it a birthday present." Snape said dryly. "Speaking of your birthday, I have something I wanted to give you. But, it can wait until after dinner."

By the time they had finished eating, Daphne had delighted Harry several times with many rather embarrassing stories of Professor Snape. By the end of the meal, Harry had downed about three glasses of wine and about ten amusing Snape stories. His mind felt cloudy from the alcohol, but overall he felt good. He hadn't felt this good in a long, long time.

Severus cleared his throat. "I have something for you, Potter. Come with me."

Harry walked up the stairs with Snape, stopping when they reached his room.

"Wait here." Was all Snape said.

Severus went into his room and began rummaging through his closet. He pulled out an old trunk that looked as though it was collecting dust. Harry knew he wasn't supposed to go into Snape's room, but he couldn't help peering in just a little bit. He saw Snape leaning over an ancient looking trunk, searching through a massive amount of letters. Finally, he pulled out a slender, wooden box.

Severus stroked the box with a shaky finger and sighed. After what seemed like eternity staring at the trunk, he slammed it shut, locked it, and walked towards Harry.

Harry leaned against the wall for support. The wine made his feet feel awfully heavy.

"Here." Was all Snape said and thrust the box into Harry's hands.

Harry looked at it curiously and opened it. It appeared to be a wand.

"A wand." Harry stated. He looked up at Snape with question marks written all over his face. "What for?"

Severus smiled. "Read it."

Harry took the wand out of the box and twirled it around in his hands. He searched the wand for this so called 'writing'. Finally, he saw it. His heart leaped when he saw the name on the bottom.

_L. Evans._

It was his mother's wand. What was Snape doing with his mother's wand?


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the kind reviews. I appreciate them so much! Let me know if I can do anything to make the story better or if you think it should go in any particular direction. I already have a long and drawn out plan for it, but if you have any ideas let me know! =)

I just want to warn some people that this chapter hints and implies rape/non-con, so if you don't like it then either don't read this chapter or skip over those parts. It is not graphic, however. Just implication.

Also, this chapter includes several ideas/situations that took place in Order of the Phoenix.

Hope you enjoy!  
>Thanks.<p>

* * *

><p>Harry couldn't speak for a few moments, having been too shocked at the unexpected gift from his potions professor. He stroked the handle of the wand with his finger so tenderly it would appear as though he thought it would break had he been any rougher. A lone tear trickled down Harry's cheek and he wiped it away hastily.<p>

He looked up at his professor with both astonishment and gratitude. "Thank you, sir…but I don't quite understand. Why do _you_ have my _mother's _wand?"

Snape nodded, knowing the boy would ask the question. "I will explain." He paused and then proceeded. "The night your parents were killed by the Dark Lord, he had summoned his death eaters earlier that night to Godric's Hollow. When I found out that it was your parents whom he aimed to hunt that night, I admit I was…horrified, for lack of a better word. Dumbledore promised me that he would do all in his powers to keep your parents safe, but as you know, Wormtail let the cat out of the bag like a true snitch and revealed your parents hiding place to the Dark Lord. Like many of your father's dimwitted friends, Peter Pettigrew was a _weak _man." He felt a sudden feeling of past hatred wash over him. "I was…very angry to say the least. Although I never liked your father, not even in the_ slightest_, I assure you that I did not wish him dead." Snape paused, remembering Harry's father as he looked at the boy's perfectly round frames and wild hair. "As I presume you already know, I had nothing but disdain for your arrogant father. He treated everyone, _including_ his friends, as though they were somehow beneath him-parading around the school with that blasted snitch all the time, playing the hero-"

"Stop!" Harry shouted. Snape sent him a cold glare, but remained silent. Harry cleared his throat. "I already know all of that, sir. What I _don't_ understand is why _you_ have my mother's wand."

Snape clenched his teeth. "I was getting to that explanation, Potter. Please restrain yourself from interrupting me." He sent Harry a dangerous glare.

Harry mumbled. "Sorry, professor."

Snape continued, obviously annoyed. "Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Wormtail had leaked your parents' location to the Dark Lord. I apparated to Godric's Hollow the second I found out, but…" He stopped for a moment, almost as though he was remembering the night all over again. "Unfortunately, I was too late. The deed had already been done." He paused for a moment, waiting for Harry to interrupt him or make some kind of reaction. Harry didn't say anything and nodded for Snape to continue.

Snape's eyes softened and he continued. "It was often the Dark Lord's twisted pleasure to leave his victims lying there for somebody else to find, preferably a loved one. He preferred his kills' deaths to lack any kind of grace or dignity. I was the first person to arrive at your parents' location after it had…been done."

"And your first thought was to _steal _my mother's wand?" Harry blurted out unexpectedly. He instantly regretted saying it. He didn't mean to let it slip out, but it just rolled off of his tongue without his consent. He currently had no control over himself at the moment due to the wine from earlier.

Surprisingly, Snape's face did not show any sort of outward emotion in reaction to Harry's outburst. "I did not steal your mother's wand, Harry. What do you take me for? I'm not your blessed _Godfather_. I'm not a convicted _felon_."

Harry's eyes bore into Snape's with fury. "DON'T! Don't you dare say anything against Sirius!" He yelled angrily. "You _know_ he was falsely accused! You know that!"

"I suppose you've forgotten, Potter, that your mangy mutt of a godfather almost got me _killed_ when we were in school. Or did that escape your pint-sized memory?" Snape spat back.

Harry just repeated his cry again. "DON'T!"

Snape sighed. "Enough." He conceded, knowing he had taken it too far. "Like I was saying, I was the first to arrive on the scene after it happened." He paused and looked down at his shoes for a good while, causing an uncomfortable silence between the pair. Finally, he lifted his head up and looked at Harry. He appeared to be in contemplation of something extremely distressful, but Harry had no idea what it was. Snape finally spoke. "I…I have to tell you something."

Harry's eyes widened in curiosity, anger now gone and renewed interest in the conversation arose. "What's that, sir?"

Snape sighed, his face looking pained. "I hadn't ever wanted to reveal this to you for several reasons that do not concern you in the _slightest_. But, I feel that I must." Snape paused to take a breath. "Although we are not family or friends by any means, I am currently the one taking care of you and it is vital that you trust me. I believe you are aware that I go and meet the Dark Lord on occasion when my mark burns? I am sure you wonder why, do you not? Surely that must be unsettling for you, given your circumstance."

Harry fidgeted and looked down at his hands nervously. "Dumbledore told me you were spying on Vold—"

"DON'T" Cried an angry Snape. "Say his name!"

"Sorry, sorry…_You-Know-Who_. Dumbledore said you are on our side, not his, but that you have to report to him so you can spy on him. I have to admit, I didn't believe him at first. But, after this…after all that you've done for me. Well, I do believe it now, sir." Harry paused and looked Snape in the eyes. "I do trust you."

Snape nodded and spoke sincerely. "Thank you."

Harry shrugged. "So…is that it? You're a spy?"

Snape shook his head. "Not quite."

Harry urged him further. "Then, what is it? What do you want to tell me?"

Snape sighed and scratched his head. "Simply put, I was your mother's…friend." Snape deliberately left out 'best friend', which was what they truly were when they were kids. "We were fairly good friends, actually, if you must know."

Harry was entirely surprised at this and took in the information carefully. He couldn't reveal to his professor that he was shocked that his mother would have been friends with someone like _him_…no, that would be insulting. Still, he could not imagine it. After all, Snape was in Slytherin and was most likely friends with Lucius Malfoy. That didn't sound like the kind of fellow he pictured his mother fancying.

After fully digesting the information, he nodded. "Wow…I had no idea." He paused and considered using this opportunity to learn more about his mother. "Nobody really talks about my mum much. Not to me, anyway."

Snape began to feel unnerved at the directions of the conversation and decided that he would not reveal anything further to the child about his past with Lily, not tonight anyway. He would not mention the prophecy or why he felt compelled to save the child's parents…or even that he had vowed to protect the boy when the Dark Lord returned. He would not reveal the fact that he and Lily had a falling out as teenagers… and _certainly_ not the reason why. The time had not come yet where that information was necessary. At first, Severus considered spilling it all out to the boy in a moment of weakness, but soon decided against it.

Snape sighed. "That's enough for now, Potter. I was your mother's friend and desired to keep some of her possessions solely as a remembrance. I did not wish anything of hers to be destroyed or sold, so I kept them. She didn't have any family in the wizarding world, given her parents were Muggles."

_That's it?_ Harry thought. _Snape and my mum were chummy?_

Harry smiled and nodded. "Well, thank you, sir. Thank you for letting me have my mum's wand. It means a lot to me. You have no idea. I don't have anything of hers besides an old photograph of her and my dad."

Snape wrinkled his brow. "What about your, forgive me for saying, absolutely dreadful Aunt Petunia? Did she not ever speak of her sister? As I recall, they played a lot together as children." Snape clearly recalled several times when Lily had stood up for her sister in Severus's presence. Reliving such memories made Severus's heart wrench, but he did not show it.

Harry shook his head. "She called my mum…terrible things. Just terrible…" He trailed off.

Snape felt anger rising in his chest. "What kinds of things?"

"They called her…a bitch. A drunk. A freak." Harry said bitterly. Then he added quietly. "Even a whore…"

Snape was now past the point of anger—he was enraged. "SHE WAS _NOTHING_ OF THE SORT!" He bellowed, a dark fire blazing in his black eyes.

Harry was taken aback, as though he had done something wrong. "_I_ know that!"

Snape tried to calm down and ran a trembling hand through his oily hair. "I know _you_ weren't calling her those things, Potter…" He paused. "So, your aunt never once shared anything with you about your mother? Not at all?"

Harry shook his head sadly. "Never."

Snape didn't want to say it, but something compelled him to say it anyhow. "I can show you memories…" He began, but then he stopped, regretting his words.

Harry's head jerked up. "What?"

Snape sighed. "Memories of your mother. I can show you. Not now, but maybe in the future."

Harry's heart felt like it was exploding with happiness. _Did I really just hear that?_ "I won't ask how that's possible right now. But, thank you, sir. I can't wait. That would be…amazing."

Snape nodded curtly, appearing as though he really didn't care what Harry Potter considered to be amazing or not. "Very well, Potter."

They stood outside of Severus's bedroom in an extremely uncomfortable silence. Snape eventually cleared his throat and spoke. "I'm pleased you like your gift." He paused and shifted slightly in place before resigning himself to saying the inevitable. "Happy Birthday, Potter…over two weeks late, but….well, anyway."

Harry grinned. "Thanks. Better late than never, sir. My family never celebrates my birthday, so this definitely tops anything I had before."

Severus scowled. "Well, I must say I shouldn't be surprised…but nevertheless, I am. That's quite unfortunate."

Harry nodded. "Thank you, professor." He paused. "For everything. Really."

After an awkward nod and what appeared to be a weak smile, Snape walked back down the stairs to his lab, leaving Harry to his thoughts.

* * *

><p>For the third night in a row, Severus was woken up in the middle of the night by a terrifyingly shrill scream. He threw on his robe in a panic and raced to the source of the noise. He barged into Harry's room and ran over to the edge of the bed. The boy was kicking and yelling incomprehensible words his sleep, sweat pouring profusely from his forehead and down his face, thoroughly soaking the neck of his tee shirt. Severus tried to rouse the boy out of the nightmare by shaking him and calling his name loudly.<p>

"Potter! Potter, wake up!" Severus urged. The boy sprung up suddenly in a fright, panting as sweat continued to sparkle in his hairline.

"Are you alright?" Snape asked urgently.

Harry nodded, still panting uncontrollably. "I'm fine, really. Just another nightmare, that's all."

"_Just_ another nightmare, Potter?" Severus exclaimed. "You say that as if it's normal to have so many nightmares!" Snape barked, but his face clearly showing concern. His face softened a bit once taking in the frightened teenager's face. "You've been having a fair number of nightmares since I stopped giving you the Dreamless Sleep potion." Severus stated calmly, trying not to further alarm Harry. "What sorts of visions to you usually see in these nightmares? Is it normally concerning your uncle or something else?"

Harry cocked his head to the side and considered the man's question with great thought. "Well, sometimes I see my uncle or my cousin Dudley beating on me or whatnot. But, lately they've been about Voldemo—"

"DON'T!" Snape bellowed, standing up suddenly. He continued in a dangerous tone. "Ever say his name in front of me. Ever. Do you understand me?"

Harry shook his head. "Sorry. I'm sorry, sir. _You-Know-Who_."

"What was the nature of tonight's dream? Was it about…him?" Snape looked a bit nervous, as though apprehensive about the upcoming answer. Harry wondered why Snape was making a big fuss over just another nightmare. He had always had nightmares since he started coming to Hogwarts. Althought, he admitted to himself that they've gotten worse over the last couple of months.

Harry scratched his head, trying to remember the details. "I saw Vold-_You-Know-Who_ in a dark room. He was talking to Wormtail about something, but I couldn't make out everything they were saying. The snake was there too, of course…his snake. He was telling the snake something in Parseltongue, but I couldn't make it out. He seemed angry, like always, but very pleased with himself. He feels confident about something."

Snape touched his chin with his long, white fingers and stroked it pensively. "You are able to sense his _emotions _during these dreams? You can feel what he is thinking and feeling?"

Harry nodded cautiously. "Yes."

Snape looked pensive. "Do you usually pick up some kind of emotion during these dreams?"

Harry nodded again. "Actually…sometimes I can sense it even when I'm not really asleep. I'll just have these feelings all of a sudden that I know don't belong to me." He paused. "It started happening a few months ago…right before the third task." He hesitated, looking at Snape for a reaction. Snape still appeared to be thinking about something. "You do believe me, don't you?"

Snape's eyes flooded with worry. "When you have these dreams, your scar…does it hurt…burn?"

Harry nodded. "Always."

"Stay here. I'll fetch you a potion." Was all Snape said. Harry was anxious now. He knew Snape seemed anxious about the implications of the dream, but he didn't know why. Snape was never known to show any signs of nervousness, especially not in front of his students.

Snape came back into the bedroom and handed Harry the vial of Dreamless Sleep potion he had grown so accustomed to taking. He handed Snape the empty vial back with a shaky hand. The older man still appeared to be in deep thought about something. Harry was beginning to grow worried. _What does he think is happening to me?_

"Professor…" Harry started. "What is it?"

Snape didn't answer the boy; he just kept staring straight ahead, deeply in thought.

Harry took that as a sign to continue speaking. "Dumbledore told me last year not to dwell on these dreams. He said that they are just that-_dreams_. Nothing more, nothing less. Just dreams."

Snape looked up and stared into Harry's eyes, as though searching for something. "The headmaster said that to you?"

Harry nodded.

"Well-" The professor began. "Even the most intelligent people can make mistakes sometimes…especially when dealing with people they care for, which I'm sure you know he cares for you a great deal." Snape was considering adding a condescending sneer after his words, but he refrained. It was neither the time nor the place for sneering, Severus told himself.

Harry smiled when Snape mentioned Dumbldore, thinking briefly in the back of his mind about the many times the headmaster had been there for him. The thought made Harry's taught muscles relax for a few moments. The thought of Dumbledore made Harry feel safe, as though nothing could harm him as long as he was there, standing beside him.

Snape continued. "Perhaps Professor Dumbledore had instructed you not to concern yourself with these visions as to not alarm you or frighten you. Or maybe he wanted to also believe that they're just dreams himself…because he didn't want to face the truth."

Harry's eyes widened in fear. "Sir…these dreams. You don't think…I mean it's not possible that…him and me…"

Snape shook his head and interrupted him gently. "Don't worry about it tonight."

_Didn't he just say I should worry?_ Harry thought, confused. "But, you said—"

Snape sighed. "I will be speaking to the headmaster tomorrow morning about this matter. I will need to get his opinion before we proceed." To Harry, Snape sounded as though he was talking about something as mundane as a poor Potions grade or a mishap on the Quidditch pitch…not a connection between Voldemort and Harry's minds!

"But-" Harry started, but was cut off by Snape.

"We don't know anything for sure, Harry. I was simply concerned that you seemed to be able to pick up the Dark Lord's emotions and thoughts. Who knows? You may as well be making them up in your head out of fear." Severus paused. "But, if there is even a slight chance…even very slight chance…that it is more, then we must act on it." Severus tried to state calmly.

Despite the man's somewhat dry demeanor, Harry was glad that the man never seemed to sugarcoat anything. Harry knew he was telling him the absolute truth.

Despite protest, the dreamless sleep potion Snape gave him earlier suddenly kicked in and Harry felt as though his head weighed a hundred times more than his body. Wearily, he resigned to resting his head against the pillow. His mind, filled with fear, was involuntarily closing up for the night.

"Goodnight, Professor." He whispered. Severus didn't want to leave the room until he knew the boy was completely asleep. He sat next to Harry's legs for over a half an hour, observing the boy's peaceful demeanor as he slept. Unable to control his emotions, he reached up and laid a gentle hand on the child's hair, stroking it lightly. Finally, he was satisfied that the potion had done its work and felt comfortable leaving the room.

"Goodnight, Harry." Snape said quietly as he elegantly _nox_ed the lights out with a brief wave of his wand.

* * *

><p>"What do you recommend, Headmaster?" Snape asked urgently, seated on the very edge of his chair in anticipation. "He needs to be able to block out these visions…if there is a connection between him and Harry…then we will all be in danger. The Dark Lord could find out about me…about my true loyalties to you and…to Potter" He swallowed hard, considering the words he just uttered. "…to the Order…everything. We need to act now, teach him how to close his mind and resist his invasion. The Dark Lord may be unaware of it for now…but I can assure you, he will not stay in the dark for long. And then what?"<p>

Severus was sitting across from the Headmaster in the familiar office that smelled like hard candy and phoenix feathers, Snape wringing his hands in a nervous twitch every so often. Dumbledore appeared to be thinking still, ignoring Snape's question and presence entirely.

"Headmaster…" Snape continued in a panic. "I need to teach the boy how to occlude his mind. It's the only way we will be safe."

Dumbledore nodded in agreement, but did not speak. All of a sudden, he stood and spoke abruptly. "I need to see Harry. Please bring him to me."

Severus was taken aback at the sudden statement, confused, but obliged begrudgingly without protest. Snape went and fetched Harry and brought him into the Headmaster's office. He took a seat beside the boy, obviously perturbed that the Headmaster would rather speak with Harry than with himself.

"Professor Dumbledore." Harry stated once he realized no one else was going to speak.

Dumbledore nodded. "Hello, Harry." He paused. "Perhaps you know why you and Professor Snape are here?" He asked softly.

Harry nodded. "Yes, professor." After those words, there was a long, uncomfortable silence that eventually he could not stand. "I need to know what's going on. What's happening to me?"

Dumbledore looked uneasy, almost frightened. "It seems as though there is some kind of…connection… between your mind and Voldemort's mind. Although we think, for the time being, he does not know it exists. Yet."

Snape cringed involuntarily when he heard the headmaster say the Dark Lord's name.

"I can't explain how it happened, but I assume it was forged when he cast the killing curse on you all those years ago and…it rebounded." Dumbledore stated the last part of the sentence quietly, not looking Harry in the eyes. "Severus?"

Snape nodded. "Yes?"

"You already know what you must do. You said so yourself." Dumbledore said with a sense of authority in his voice. "You must teach Harry to resist Voldemort's intrusion. It's our only hope." He paused and turned back to Harry. "Harry, dear. Please listen to Professor Snape's lessons carefully. We don't have much time. Severus is the best Occlumens I've ever known. Even though I'm aware that you don't always get along that well…" Dumbledore sent Snape a knowing glance, causing Severus to slouch further into his chair. "…you must pay attention to his instruction and trust him implicitly. Understand?"

_Occlu-what?_ Harry thought, more confused now than he had been earlier. However, the look of nervousness and hope in Dumbledore's eyes caused Harry to nod in agreement. "Yes, professor. I do."

There was a heavy silence. "Sir, what's occlumens?"

Dumbledore mustered up a half-smile at Harry. "Professor Snape will explain everything, my dear boy. Good luck with your lessons."

Snape nodded and turned to Harry. "Come with me."

Severus took Harry by the hand and they instantly apparated back to outside of Prince Manor.

* * *

><p>Snape sat across from Harry in his living room. Harry was given a soft, cushioned chair while Snape sat on a cheap looking wooden one. Harry wrung his hands nervously and stared expectantly at Severus.<p>

"Sir, what's occlumens?" Harry asked, still not quite understanding what was happening. He was even more confused now than he was before. "What's going on?"

"An occlumens is a person who has the ability to occlude-or close-their mind from external forces attempting to penetrate it." Snape stated, matter-of-factly. "It seems as though this connection that you and the Dark Lord share is allowing him inadvertent access to your mind, especially while you are in a weakened state, for example…while you are asleep."

Harry sighed. "That explains the nightmares then."

Snape continued. "If you do not learn how to close your mind, he may be able to access your memories and attempt to use them against you, to trick or hurt you." Snape said with a hint of melancholy. "Not only would he be able to access your mind, but he could attempt to control it as well." Snape felt as though the gravity of the situation grew higher when he said the words out loud.

Severus swallowed hard as he thought about what would happen if the boy failed at learning occlumency. "You don't want that, do you? So, we need to train you up immediately."

Harry's eyes bugged out in fear, and then let out an exasperated scoff. "Don't you think I have _enough_ to deal with already?" He blurted out. "Now I have to worry about Voldemort taking over _my mind_ too? What's next?" Harry sighed and ran a shaky hand through his shaggy hair. "This is unreal. It's insane. I'm only fifteen years old! Did you forget that? Everyone seems to forget that. Remember what happened last year? Or has everybody already forgotten that too?" Harry snarled at his potions professor. He sighed and muttered curses under his breath.

Snape refrained from reprimanding the boy for using the Dark Lord's name and settled for trying to calm him down instead. "I know it's a lot to deal with. Especially given what just happened with you and your family." Snape said sadly. "It's seems as though life keeps adding more crap to the pile."

Harry threw his head back and let out an eerily dark laugh. "You." He paused and pointed his finger at Snape's chest. "_You_ don't have any idea at all. You think you do. But, you don't really. _No one does_."

Severus would usually retort to a comment like that, tell the child that life isn't fair and to suck it up, but he saw the genuineness of the statement in the boy's eyes. It seemed as though Harry truly believed he was alone.

"Harry." Severus began. "I don't usually care to admit it, but this time…I am scared as well. Do you understand that if the Dark Lord realizes he has access to your mind, that you're not the only one in danger? If he ever deliberately delved into your mind with the intent of finding out information, do you realize how easy it would be for him to discover _my_ secrets? He could find out about my true loyalties, where you're living at the moment…anything. Everything…" He trailed off. He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, and then looked again at the frightened boy in front of him. "So, it is essential that we begin the lessons immediately."

Harry looked as though he was about to burst out crying, but Severus pretended not to notice. Harry choked on his tears and stammered angrily towards Snape. "So, I have to save the world _again_? I suppose once was not enough for everyone?" Harry's eyes welled up in tears, but he wiped them away instantly. "_Bloody Hell_…"

Severus knew exactly why the child would be angry, but he knew if he tried talking to the boy about his fears, that the child would break down immediately and they would get nowhere with their lesson.

Severus cleared his throat awkwardly. "Let's begin, then. In order to successfully occlude your mind, you should first concentrate on clearing your mind of all thought and emotion. Try not to think of anything at all, as though you are trying to fall asleep. This is often impossible, since the mind can never truly be empty. But, first off, you should attempt it." Snape stated. "Go on. It'll help if you close your eyes for a few moments."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to block out all thoughts and emotion, but they kept coming through no matter what he did. He sighed and opened his eyes. "I can't do it."

"You can, Potter. If you cannot block out everything, then just try to focus on one singular thought." Snape urged. "Now try again."

Harry tried that, resigning to only thinking about what Snape's room might have looked like when he was a child. He managed to push out most other thoughts, for now, and focused only on that one.

"Now," Said Snape. "You must concentrate on a number of particular visions that are benign and will not give the seeker anything further to look for. For instance, you should concentrate on a memory that you wouldn't mind him seeing. This approach to occlumency doesn't concern blocking a person out entirely, we'll get to that later, but distracting them with false visions designed to fool them. It is the easiest type of occlumency to learn, so I thought we should start with that." Snape paused, waiting for Harry's answer. When he received no answer, he continued. "Well, do you have any memories in mind?"

"Like a river flowing or something?" Harry asked, already growing sick of Occlumency and they barely even started yet.

"Hm, not quite." Snape answered. "That's _too_ benign."

Harry sighed. "Ugh…can you give me an example?"

Snape nodded. "For instance, the Dark Lord is well aware that I teach at Hogwarts. When he attempts to penetrate my mind, which he often does when I stand before him, I simply replay that day's classes over in my head. Longbottom blowing up a cauldron, breakfast in the Great Hall, staff meetings, simple memories, yes, but believable ones. That way, the Dark Lord does not suspect that I am deliberately hiding anything from him. If I concentrated on something so simple as a river flowing or a mountaintop or some ridiculous static image, surely he would realize that those are false visions designed to keep him out of my real memories. In short, he would know I was occluding and therefore become suspicious."

Harry nodded, now fully understanding. He thought to himself that Professor Severus Snape wasn't such a terrible teacher when he wanted to be. "So…maybe a memory of a Quidditch match? Or of my classes or something?"

Snape mustered up a partial smile. "Precisely, Mr. Potter. Now, when I count to 3, I will attempt to enter your mind and access your most private memories, memories that you would not wish Him to access. You will attempt to resist the invasion and throw me out of your mind as quickly as possible. If that is not possible, simply distract me by showing me only the memories you wish for me to see until there is nothing left for me to find. The longer one lingers inside your mind, the higher chance they have of accessing your memories."

Harry suddenly became panicky and stood up from his seat, slowly backing away from the man. It appeared as though he was beginning to shake again; a phenomenon Severus noticed only seemed to occur when the boy remembered something of his abuse. _What could have happened?_ Snape wondered. _Always right when we're getting somewhere…_

"Potter?" Severus asked, his tone both annoyed and concerned at the same time. "What is the matter?"

"No." Harry stated matter-of-factly, his hands trembling. "No. You can't do that. I won't let you…into my mind like that. No."

_Not again._ Severus thought, cursing himself. Severus sighed, knowing full well that Harry probably didn't want him to see any memories of his abuse. He suspected there was something going on inside of Harry's mind that he wasn't sharing when they spoke about his abuse through the parchment. Not wanting to press the issue, he opted for a practical approach.

"Potter, perhaps you can use this fear as further _motivation _to throw me off and then out of your mind. If you don't want me to see your personal memories, then _don't let me_. On the count of 3…"

Harry's hands started to shake more violently and his eyes widened, not ready for an attack on his mind just yet. He tried to think of anything…anything…other than his uncle or his family or Cedric or Voldemort. However, those were the exact memories that he didn't want Snape to see…so, of course, he couldn't stop thinking about them. As Severus readied his wand, pointing it directly at Harry's head, all of the memories he never wanted his professor to see raced to the front of his mind. He raised his arms up to somehow shield himself, but it didn't seem to stop the professor.

"1…2…3…_Legilimens_!" Snape shouted, aiming his wand at Harry's head.

"NO!" Harry shouted in protest, but Snape was already looking around inside of his mind. Flashes of memories swarmed in, one by one. The first was of Cedric's lifeless body and then of Voldemort's sickeningly arrogant grin. The next was of him diving in the lake during the second task and people cheering.

_Nothing unusual so far, but he's not occluding enough_. Snape thought.

After a few rather innocent memories flashed by, Snape thought he might actually be occluding. However, one particular memory came by that Snape held onto a little longer because he sensed that Harry did not wish him to see it. Oftentimes, the legilimens could sense the victim's feelings and emotions. When he came across this memory, the overwhelming emotion he sensed at that moment was fear and apprehension.

At the beginning of the memory, he saw Harry playing inside of a sandbox in the backyard of his uncle's house. Having been much too old to be playing in the sandbox, Severus thought that was rather strange, so he fixated on that memory. He watched as Harry crafted himself a birthday cake made out of sand with his shovel and pail. He smiled at his cake and quietly wished himself a happy birthday. Suddenly, his oaf of a cousin, Dudley, came over and kicked the bucket and stomped on the cake. Harry looked furious.

"That's what you get, freak!" Dudley screamed with delight.

"What'd you do that for?" Harry shouted his oversized cousin as he stood up. Severus saw him grasp the handle of his wand inside of his pocket.

Dudley stuck his tongue out at him. "No one cares about _your_ birthday, Potter. And no one ever will!" He laughed manically and ran into the house.

Harry looked enraged and stalked after the larger boy. "I've had it with your shit, Dudley!" Harry snarled at his cousin. "You're lucky I can't use magic outside of school or else I would curse you. You know wizards have a _killing_ curse, don't you?" Harry said in a dark, dangerous tone.

At this point, he seemed fed up and beyond rage. This type of torment must have been going on all summer, the way Harry was acting. Severus had never seen the boy look so dangerous before.

Dudley ran to get his father. "Daddy! Mum! Harry threatened me again! He said he was going to kill me this time!" Dudley's voice faded behind the door to the kitchen. Severus heard Harry silently swear something under his breath.

Suddenly, the memory turned fuzzy and it changed to nighttime. Harry was in his room, huddled beneath his blankets, tossing and turning in his sleep. Suddenly, he woke up with a start and screamed that same shrill yell Severus has heard many times. Harry was, as usual, covered in his own sweat. It seemed as though he had not yet been confined to the cupboard and was sleeping in Dudley's old second bedroom. He buried his face in his hands and mumbled something incomprehensible about Cedric.

After a few moments, Harry's uncle came into view and Severus saw him grab Harry by the neck and drag him out of bed. Despite Harry's pleas and protests, the man threw the boy's body down the steps in what appeared to be blind rage. The child fell to the floor after the last step, his head smashing onto the cement floor loudly. Severus felt the urge to kill the uncle, but couldn't since it was just a memory.

The boy appeared to be unconscious at the bottom of the steps since the scene went black, but then Severus saw his eyes open slightly. The vision was now hazy because of the child's impaired vision, but he managed to make out his uncle following him down. Sneering, his uncle slapped him across the face. Then, he slowly crouched down over the boy and the man's large hand reached towards the child's belt and began to unbuckle it.

Abruptly, Harry managed to push Snape out of that memory instantly by bringing in a different one. It was still of his uncle, but one that was less extreme. In the next memory, it showed his uncle putting bars on his window and telling the boy that he wouldn't be writing to his freaky friends anymore. Harry tried to concentrate on only the memories that were not that bad, such as his uncle making him wash the dishes or denying him food for being "a freak". He didn't care what Snape saw as long as he did not see what his uncle did to him on his birthday.

Snape suddenly withdrew from Harry's mind on purpose, looking entirely unnerved at what he had seen. He was so shocked at the memory that he did not even realize he had dropped his wand. He stared straight ahead at Harry, not knowing what he should do. He felt as though he wanted to scream, punch the wall, throw up,_ anything_.

Harry collapsed to the floor in a thump, having been drained physically and emotionally. He was lying on the floor, holding his head in agony, sweat pouring from his forehead.

"Potter?" Snape asked softly, kneeling beside the boy lying on the ground, panting. "Potter? Are you alright?"

Harry still held his hands up to his head, clutching it as though it was throbbing in pain. "No more…stop." He mumbled. "No more…"

"Alright, no more." Severus answered softly. He sighed, not knowing what to do once again. That seemed to be happening to Severus more and more as he lived with the child. He used to be very sure of himself and his actions, but lately all he felt was confusion. They were both quiet for a few moments until Harry felt Severus's hand gently release his own from his forehead. Instead, he placed his own pale hand over the boy's forehead and rubbed his thumb in little circles around his left temple, trying to ease the pain and relieve the tension.

"Harry?" Severus urged quietly, gently rubbing the boy's head. "The memory that I saw…was that vision real or just a memory of a nightmare?"

Severus prayed to Merlin that it was just from a nightmare, but he had a suspicion it was a real memory. He felt sick to his stomach. If the vision he saw was true, then that would mean...

Severus could not fathom it. He tried to push the thought out of his mind. He couldn't have seen it correctly or it must have been a dream, he told himself. He could not believe that someone would assault his student in that way, not _sexually_. He knew a variety of kids who had abusive parents and he knew the severity of Harry's abuse, but never did he expect something like this. He felt as though he was going to faint on top of the boy, but instead he kept rubbing the boy's forehead.

Harry's eyes were clamped shut and he just kept on shaking his head fiercely, knowing what Snape was going to ask him. _He didn't just see that. No. No. No. This can't be happening. It's just a dream._ Harry thought to himself, repeating his mantra.

_No. No. No. No._


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:**

The Dursleys finally get their beatdown in this chapter. I had way too much fun writing this! Haha. Hope you like it. Sorry it's not as long as the last chapter. But, I might be able to get another chapter up later tonight or tomorrow. Thanks everyone for the kind reviews!

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><p>Severus was still leaning over Harry's worn figure on the ground about fifteen minutes later, neither of them having spoken a word since it happened. The child still had his arms draped over his eyes like an impromptu shield, as though as long as their eyes did not meet, than what had just transpired did not actually happen. Of course, that was far from the truth. What had happened was, indeed, very real. Severus, not knowing what he could possibly do or say to help the child, simply continued to rub his thumb in small circles along Harry's temples. It was a relaxation technique he learned while studying muggle health remedies many years prior. He decided that he would not speak until the child was ready…even if that meant he may not be getting up off of the floor for a long while.<p>

_Harry Potter_. Severus thought to himself, sighing. The name itself carried enough weight with Severus and did not require any further explanation. It seemed as though wherever the child was, trouble followed. _What am I going to do with you?_

Severus looked down at his charge with uncharacteristically empathetic eyes, watching as tears leaked out from the boy's tiny fortress of arms and trembling hands. The child still refused to face him, but he did not want to press it yet. When Harry was ready to look at him, than he would.

Suddenly, Severus's arms were thwarted upward by a great force. The next thing he knew, his back hit the hard, wooden floor with a loud thump. When he opened his eyes, he saw Harry racing towards the doorway, horrible gasps escaping the boy's young throat as he ran. Severus was known for his cleverness and quick-thinking and this time was no exception. Wandlessly, Severus cast a locking charm on the door, knowing what Harry was going to try and attempt. When Harry reached the door, he threw himself at its wooden frame with every ounce of force he had left in his tired body. Grabbing the doorknob in a frenzy, he turned it maniacally from left to right and right to left. Frustrated, he kicked the door hard, cursing under his breath. When the doorknob proved to be locked, he conceded to banging on the door loudly, tears still streaming down his face in a rapid fashion. He continued to bang several more times, finally stopping to merely press his face against it, sobbing uncontrollably.

"AHHHHHH!" A raw, guttural scream suddenly escaped the boy's lips from the pit of his stomach. To Severus, it sounded similar to one of his fellow Death Eaters being succumbed to multiple bouts of the Dark Lord's infamously ruthless Cruciatus curses. "LET ME OUT!" he unexpectedly screamed towards the door. "LET…ME…OUT!"

Severus stood up now and prepared himself to cautiously approach the boy. Harry still had not looked Severus in the eyes and kept his face pressed firmly against the door. Severus could hear a number of incomprehensible cries coming from the boy's direction before the child completely broke out into hysterics.

He lifted his head off of the door and continued to bang on the wood relentlessly. "LET ME OUT NOW!" Harry screamed with a fierce, shrill yell that pierced the older man's ears. "LET. ME. OUT!"

Harry's entire body was shaking from head to toe. Even as he spoke, he voice was trembling and he was choking on his own tears.

Severus paused, looking on at the child who, until recently, he thought to be the epitome of a spoiled rotten teenager, a boy who relished in his fame, who disregarded rules as though they were beneath him, who had never once shown Severus any sort of respect since the first time they met in Harry's first year potions class. He remembered that day vividly. The entire morning on first day of term, he was in constant anticipation of meeting Harry Potter. Not because he gave a damn about the Boy-Who-Lived's celebrity, but because he was curious to see how much his personality had been inherited from his father. Would he be an arrogant toe-rag just like James or an intelligent, beautiful soul like Lily? From the moment he laid eyes on Potter junior, Severus could not help but clearly see a stark resemblance to James. It did not help matters much that Harry had that same wild, messy hair and his father's attractive, though bespectacled, face. However, looking back on that day, he now realized that Harry was a child who was new to magic…hell, even new to a proper school. The child was rather innocent and, dare he day, kind? He realized this in hindsight, replaying that day over and over in his mind since he learned of Harry's homelife. Severus Snape had been very, very wrong. Sure, the boy had a penchant for trouble and an endless curiosity, but so did he, himself, at that age.

It was in that moment, as Severus watched the child he knew so well break down in front of him, that everything he had previously known to be true was shattered. The Harry Potter Severus had taught for four years was no longer the Harry Potter crying hysterically in front of him. It was as though someone had come in and stole his Harry and replaced him with a stranger. This Harry was a boy in desperate need of love and care-a child who had been abused for Merlin knows how long.

Forgetting the promise he made to himself many years prior that he would never reveal his true nature to the Potter boy and disregarding his teacher-student bounds, he leapt towards the child in one swift movement. When he reached the boy, he grabbed him gently by the shoulders, turned him around and forced the child to look him straight in the eyes. He moved his finger slowly beneath Harry's left eye to wipe away his tears. He then performed the same motion on Harry's right eye. After a brief moment, Severus pulled Harry into a tight embrace, pushing the boy's face into his black cloak.

Harry was in too much hysteria to even comprehend what his potions teacher had just uncharacteristically done. In retaliation of something Severus did not know, the child tried to punch the older man multiple times against his chest, but the man's grip on the younger boy's body was too strong. Not getting anywhere through punches, Harry decided to start using his feet to try and lash out and repeatedly kicked Severus hard against his shins until he was sure he left a mark. When that proved to produce no reaction in Severus either, Harry began to try and pull away from the strange embrace, but Snape's grip was so tight that Harry could not escape it. Every time Harry pulled away, Severus pulled him in even closer. It was clear that he was not going to let go. Finally, Harry stopped struggling and, instead, released the rest of his tears onto Snape's chest, clutching the back of the man's robes with his small fists, bunches of cloth laced between his slender fingers.

Hours passed by and soon it was nighttime. Not very long after the ordeal, Harry had fallen asleep against Severus's side on the couch in front of the blazing hearth. Harry's eyes were still red and puffy from crying, despite the man's efforts to calm him down earlier. Severus finally had to spell some sleeping potion into the child's stomach to relax him enough to force him to rest. Neither of them had yet spoken about what happened, but Severus could guess well enough. It was clear the boy had been sexually abused by his uncle. _On his birthday.._. Severus finished the rest of the thought with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. How often and how far the sexual abuse had gone would remain a painful mystery until the following day, when he would be having a talk with Harry.

With Harry now sleeping soundly against his teacher and another extremely uncomfortable talk delayed until the following morning, Snape's thoughts turned to Harry's despicable uncle. As he sat there in silence, feeling Harry's small, rhythmic breaths rising and falling against his own chest, Severus's anger began to reach a boiling point. He gently lifted Harry's sleeping form and laid him down on the other side of the couch. Getting up, he decided to go to the kitchen and pour himself a tall glass a firewhiskey. After all that happened that day, he figured it might calm him down enough to think clearly. Of course, when somebody is truly angry, alcohol usually only serves to ignite further anger, not distinguish it. After about his third rather tall glass, he walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room, his steps slightly wobbly now. Through whiskey-induced hazy vision, he again watched the innocent looking boy in front of him as he slept. _That's it_. Severus told himself in a sort of finality.

Grabbing his wand a few moments later, he stood in the middle of the living room contemplating what he should do. Wizards were not supposed to apparate while intoxicated, it was strictly forbidden. However, Severus was past the point of logical thinking. There was only one thing on his mind this evening. After spelling some more sleeping potion into the child to assure he would not wake up, Severus disapparated out of the house and was, once again, staring out onto 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey.

Severus stalked up to the front door in rage, and in a slightly drunken demeanor, repeatedly rang the doorbell. He kept pressing it over and over like a small child until finally he saw Petunia open the door.

"_Bloody Hell_! Who are you? Why are you ringing my bell? I'll call the police, you know!" Petunia spat at him. "It's 2 o' clock in the morning!"

"Ah, Petunia. How most awful it is to see you! You don't remember me?" Severus was slurring his words slightly. "It's Severus. Severus _Snape_." His eyes narrowed slightly as he stared into hers coldly. "Surely, you must remember me, yes? The poor Snape boy who lived down Spinner's End?"

"Oh, yes. I remember _you_. Lily's freaky friend_._" Petunia stated coldly. She paused uncomfortably before continuing. "Well, Lily isn't here, if you must know. She's been dead for over 14 years. It is quite the pity, but you and I have nothing to discuss." Petunia went to slam the door in the man's face, but was stopped by something getting in the way. Severus's arm was outstretched, holding the door open even as she kept trying to shut it.

"You and your bloody magic tricks. Freak! Let go of my door!" Petunia barked angrily. "I have an alarm system. The police will be here any minute, you know—"

Suddenly, Severus slapped her hand away from the door with a loud_ smack_.

"I'm. Not. Using. Magic." Severus spoke darkly and with all of the might from his bare hands, managed to rip the door slightly from its hinges, so it merely dangled from where it had once been latched. "I did not come here to speak to you. I wish to speak with your disgusting excuse for a husband." Severus clutched his wand inside of his robes, ready to unleash it if need be. "Where is the filthy bastard?"

Petunia stood in front of the doorway, refusing to let him in. "How dare you say that about my husband! I will call the police on you right now, you freak! Get away from my house! You have no right to be on my property!"

Severus reached into his pocket and pulled out his long, black wand and pointed it against her thin neck. "Do you not even wonder about the whereabouts of your nephew?" He asked suddenly. "You do realize he's not here where you left him a couple of weeks ago, yes?"

"It's no business of yours where he is!" Petunia spat, but her eyes displaying ever-increased worry at the feeling of his wand pressed against the skin of her neck. She then realized that Severus must have known Harry was not at the house. "How do you know whether he's here or not? Either way, it is none of your business! He's _our_ nephew!"

"As it so happens, it is very much my business. I'm his professor." Snape spat coldly.

Petunia's eyes widened slightly and she let out a small scream as Snape pressed his wand deeper into her skin so hard it practically burned. Because of the firewhiskey from earlier, Severus could not completely control his temper. The angrier he got, he more he felt as though he might have the urge to kill her, although he knew he couldn't. That would end up causing more harm to himself and Harry rather than good.

Severus bore his dark eyes into hers and continued to speak in a dangerous tone, something he always managed to achieve even while slightly intoxicated. If possible, the intoxication made him seem even more menacing. "I wish to inform you that the Headmaster sent me here while you three were away on _vacation_." He spat his last word out with a dose of extra venom.

He continued on. "What I discovered here was most horrifying. Do you know what it is that I found?" He asked his rhetorical question to which he received no answer. "Well, allow me to enlighten you. I found Mr. Potter, _my student_, lying in a tiny cupboard, _stark naked_, covered in cuts and his body riddled with broken bones. Is that how you take care of your nephew, Petunia? _Lily's only son?_ You leave him in a cupboard like a dirty old mop while you go on holiday? _You disgust me_." Snape spoke softly, but his intent became clearer as he continued to pierce her neck with his wand.

"Liar!" Petunia managed to scream angrily although her neck was somewhat compromised. "You had no business coming into our house! Thief, thief!"

Severus pocketed his wand, reached up and grabbed her by the neck and shook her with his bare hands. "You foolish woman! You're lucky he didn't _die_ in there, you filthy bitch! _He could have died_! What would you have done then? Claim the freak killed himself with his own magic or some ridiculous bullshit? What did the child ever do to you? Or was the fact that he was living and breathing somehow offensive to you merely because he's a wizard?"

A small cry escaped the woman's throat, and then she managed to speak. "I had nothing to do with that! It wasn't me!"

Snape released the hold he had on her neck and threw her down into the house like a bag of trash. Her head hit the floor hard and appeared to now be unconscious. Severus stepped over her body and moved into the house, wand at the ready.

He moved quickly through the living room, his wand out and a curse lingering on his lips. He walked up the stairs and saw three bedrooms. One must have been the uncle's room. He stuck his head into one and saw Harry's cousin sleeping. The room was riddled with toys, any type of toy a kid could imagine. For good measure, Snape flicked his wand and sent a number of the toys up in smoke. He exited the room and wordlessly cast a silencing charm on the boy's door. He did not need the child interfering with his next order of business. Severus turned and found a second child's bedroom, which now looked, for the most part, vacated. He then turned to the third room. Renewed anger at Harry's uncle ruptured inside of him. With a swift movement of his wand, he blasted the door open.

Harry's obese Uncle Vernon leaped out of the bed and had his hands in the air as though Severus was some sort of police officer about to make an arrest.

"Well, well, well." Severus said coolly, but in the darkest tone he could muster. "What have we here?"

Vernon lifted a chair off the ground and held it up in front of him as though it were going to defend him against at attack. He began to stutter through his words. "Who…who are you? What do you want?"

"I'm Harry Potter's professor at Hogwarts." Snape said, still trying to feign coolness, which was becoming increasingly difficult as he looked into the man's eyes.

The uncle clutched onto the chair more tightly. "You-you-you're from that school?"

"Yes." Snape paused and pulled his wand out from his coat in a silky motion. "And I've come for answers." Snape spat coldly and suddenly flew in front of the uncle banishing the pitiful chair out of his hands. Now standing just inches away from Vernon's face, Severus reached up and jabbed his wand against Vernon's neck just as he did to Petunia. "Tell me, _Vermin_…why didn't you take Harry with you when you went on vacation?"

Vernon looked bewildered at the sudden accusation and the sight of the strange man's wand and the mention of his nephew's name. This nonsense was Harry's doing? _Boy is that kid getting a good beating when he comes back_, Vernon thought to himself.

"The boy is a menace! Totally out of control! We didn't want him going and ruining our family vacation." Vernon said, increasingly aware of the wand pressed up against his fat neck. "Surely, you of all people must understand how the boy is. You're his professor, after all. I'm sure he gives you loads of trouble at school."

If Vernon was trying to get out of his punishment by relating to Snape, he had another thing coming.

"No, I don't understand at all, actually." Snape spat angrily. "Let me ask you another question. Why did I find Mr. Potter lying inside of a locked cupboard, bleeding, naked, and practically _beaten to death_ while you were away? Surely it would have been punishment enough to just leave him home while you were off on holiday? But, no…you felt the need to practically _kill _him as well? How do you justify that? I'm overwhelmed with curiosity at how someone could possibly justify that behavior."

With the realization that Severus had discovered his secret, Vernon's face turned white.

"I…I…" He stammered. "I don't know what you're talking about. Someone else must have done that, not me. I…I…" The man's fat jowls quivered as he anticipated the scary man's next move.

Severus removed his wand from the man's neck and slapped him hard across the face. He then spoke quietly, almost in a whisper. But, his words never sounded so sincere. "You are the biggest, worthless piece of shit I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot in my time."

Snape readied his wand now at Vernon's head. "I have one last question. Did you ever molest the boy? Sexually?" With the words now spoken aloud, Snape's hand began to shake involuntarily. He was so close to casting the killing curse on the man and was utilizing all of his self-control to refrain from doing so. "ANSWER ME YOU IMBECILE!" Snape screamed and once again slapped him across the face. "I'LL KILL YOU!" Snape barked and sparks began to accidentally escape from the tip of his wand.

"No! I've never done that! Please, don't kill me!" Vernon pleaded. "Please…I've never touched Harry that way…it wasn't me!"

"YOU DID DO IT YOU FUCKING LIAR!" Snape screamed again at the top of his lungs. "YOU DISGUSTING FILTHY MUGGLE!" He paused as he considered his next action. Without thinking, he did the first thing that came to mind.

"CRUCIO!" He waved his wand and blasted the man with the strongest, most powerful Cruciatus curse he could muster. Bright blue light flooded from the tip of his wand and onto the man rolling around on the ground in agony.

"AHHHH!" Vernon screamed as he writhed on the ground in pain, tremors taking over his entire body. After about ten minutes of torture, Snape withdrew his wand and pointed it above the man, lying on the ground, still shaking in tremors.

Snape bent down and leaned over his face. "You are a disgusting excuse for a human being." Severus paused for a few minutes, carefully gathering his next words.

"You. Will. Listen. To. _Me_." Severus whispered coldly, leaning over Vernon's frightened face. "If I _ever_ find out that you tried to touch, go near, harm, or even try to find Harry _ever again_, I will torture you for hours until you can no longer feel your own skin. Then, I will proceed to torture your wife." He hesitated as he tried to regain control of his anger. "Then, once I am sure you have both been tortured enough, I will proceed to lock you in a cupboard for a week without food or water. Then, I will continue to beat you until all of your bones are severely broken and you lose enough blood to cause unconsciousness. Then, I will strip you down to nothing but your fat, naked body and will hire someone to come and rape you. Preferably some sort of unearthly magical beast with a _gigantic_ penis. And then, only after I am entirely, one hundred percent, certain that you have suffered enough, will I finally kill you myself. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Vernon nodded and shut his eyes, hoping and praying that the scary man would disappear. And so he did.


	10. Chapter 10

_Bloody Hell. What did I just do?_ Severus thought in a panic as he apparated back to the lawn of Prince Manor. _If anyone finds out about this, I'm done for. The ministry doesn't give __third__ chances_. Just as he was in the midst of doubting his actions, he snapped back to reality when he entered his home and saw Harry lying on the couch. His thin arms were strewn across the cushions, his mouth wide open and his eyes closed-his hair ever messy and untidy. Something about the boy, especially as he slept, ignited some old, lost feeling in Severus. Something he hadn't felt since Lily. No matter how much the boy incessantly bothered or annoyed him, he possessed some innate quality that forced Severus to care immensely. Lily also used that same kind of unintentional magic on Severus. Her and her son shared the same quality.

Severus let out a shaky exhale and sat on the end of the couch, careful not to crush the boy's feet. He bent his head down and pressed his face dejectedly into his palms, allowing a soft groan to escape his lips. He felt the prickle of fresh tears forming behind his eyes as he thought of both what he had done to the muggles and what the muggles no doubtedly did to the boy. _They did deserve it_, Severus told himself in a forced calm. _They're lucky I didn't kill them! At least they are still alive_. To be sure of that, he decided to send his elf, Daphne, to the Dursleys' home under an invisibility charm to ensure that they were, in fact, still breathing. Punishment was one thing, but murder was another. He did not want anything else on his less-than-perfect record. Especially if he was currently the one looking after Harry Potter. In another moment of panic he considered going back to house and hitting them with a memory charm, but decided against it.

"Mmmm…" Harry mumbled as he rolled over onto his side, trying to get comfortable. He felt Severus's presence on the couch as he moved and sleepily opened his eyes. Although his vision was blurry, he could make out Severus's dark frame. "Professor?" Harry whispered in a small voice. "Is that you?"

Snape could not stop a weak smile from involuntarily forming on his own face. He then spoke to the child in the most soothing tone he could muster. "Yes, Harry, it's only me." He reached over and placed his hand on Harry's side, to which he felt the child's muscles instantly tense up. Severus was not surprised, but it still hurt him nonetheless.

He sighed mournfully and again tried to muster up his most gentle voice. "Shhh, everything's alright now. Go back to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." He did not remove his hand from Harry's tense body, but instead affectionately rubbed the child's side back and forth in what he hoped was a calming motion. He felt the boy's muscles relax after a few moments and watched as he closed his eyes. A part of Severus's heart stung with the realization that the boy probably was not used to receiving any sort of physical affection, at least not in the form of touch. After all, who would he have received it from? Certainly not his relatives and it was hardly common for school friends to perform what should have been parental affection.

"Harry?" Severus asked unexpectedly in an almost whisper.

Harry opened his eyes and turned his head towards his professor once more. Their eyes met, but he was sure Harry could barely see him with the lights out and his notoriously awful vision.

"Professor?"

Severus reached up and ran a single stroke down the boy's cheek. "I'm sorry."

If Harry was not confused already, he certainly was now. "Sorry for what?"

Severus moved his hand and playfully tousled the boy's hair. He paused when he saw a perplexed look on the child's face. "Go back to sleep, Harry. Have pleasant dreams…and don't worry about anything."

A warm smile crossed Harry's face when he heard the man's words, then he closed his eyes. "Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, Harry. Sleep well."

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><p>After he was certain that Harry had fallen back to sleep, Severus walked into the kitchen to get some water. He had a splitting headache both from the firewhiskey earlier and the turn of events that evening. When he entered the kitchen he saw Daphne waddling around, a worried look on her face.<p>

"Daphne." Severus stated. "The muggles. What is their condition?"

Daphne nodded nervously. "Hello, Master Snape. Daphne went to check on them. They are alive. Yes, they are. They seemed so very upset, but they were okay. Daphne thinks they will be alright, yes."

Severus felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. "Thank you, Daphne. I am sorry you had to go and do that for me. It was, after all, my own fault."

Daphne sat down across from Severus. "Master Snape is a good person. Daphne knows Master Snape only did it because of Harry Potter. They hurt Harry Potter! Harry Potter is such a good boy. It makes Daphne so very sad."

Snape shook his head and rested it on his hand. "I don't know what I am doing with him. He certainly will not return to those muggles, I won't allow it. But, what's going to happen to him now? I am certainly not fit to care for him. At least, not in the long term."

"Not fit, sir?" Asked Daphne, perplexed.

"What if the Dark Lord finds out where I live and decides to pay a visit? Sure he won't be pleased when he finds his most 'loyal' death eater tucking his most hated nemesis into bed." Severus let out a dark chuckle. "He would kill both of us instantly."

Daphne reached out and took Severus's hand in hers. Snape was surprised at the gesture and looked at the elf. "Daphne thinks Master Snape should take care of Harry Potter. It would be best!"

"Oh, of course…because I've been doing such a _splendid_ job so far." He snapped back sarcastically.

"Yes, Daphne agrees." She said innocently, missing the sarcasm. "Master Snape has been doing a great job looking after Harry Potter."

Snape rolled his eyes. "You misunderstood me. I meant I am _not_ doing a good job, Daphne. Surely you should be used to my sarcasm by now."

Daphne's face fell and she clutched Snape's hand harder. She shook her head. "Daphne disagrees! Harry Potter is happy with Master Snape!"

Snape snorted. "Oh, I can imagine. Being cooped up all summer with his nasty potions professor must be a dream come true for the child." Snape snapped, but then he thought for a moment about the alternative. "Well, it's better than being with those horrible muggles obviously, but that doesn't even need to be said. However, I am sure he does not want _me_ for a guardian. I do nothing, but make him upset. He is constantly throwing himself into a fit no matter what I say to him." He thought about his choice of words and sighed. "It's understandable, of course, given his circumstances, but it does not stop me from thinking that I am utterly failing at helping him. We do nothing but argue with each other and I do not see any real improvement in his condition. At least not mentally or emotionally."

Daphne shook her head more fervently. "No! Master Snape cares so very much about Harry Potter! Daphne is sure of it! Harry Potter needs Master Snape!" She paused for a moment before adding quietly. "Daphne thinks Master Snape might need Harry Potter too."

Her big elf eyes looked into Snape's and he couldn't help but feel as though she could see right through him. What sort of magic did elves possess that wizards lacked? He was too tired for that tonight, however. He needed to go to sleep. "I'll make that decision for myself, thank you. Now I must say goodnight, Daphne. I'm afraid I must retire to my chambers. You must understand I've had a long day. Thank you again for checking up on those muggles for me. I owe you for that."

"Goodnight, Master Snape. Think about what Daphne said." The small elf smiled weakly at Severus and patted his hand. "Daphne knows Master Snape will do the right thing for Harry Potter. Yes, she does."

Snape sneered and turned away from the elf and went to bed. Tomorrow would be a long day as well, but for very different reasons.

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><p>Snape was sitting in the kitchen the next morning, absentmindedly skimming the Daily Prophet. He had been sitting there since seven in the morning, waiting anxiously to hear the familiar pitter patter of Harry's feet as he walked towards kitchen for their usual breakfast. However, it was almost noon now and the boy still had not made an appearance. Finally, Severus put down the paper and went into the living room to see if he had woken up. When he entered the living room, he saw Harry reaching into Frances's cage, trying to coax her out.<p>

"Come on, girl. Come outside." Harry whispered as he tried to entice the owl to step onto his arm. "You can trust me. Just get on my arm. You can do it, Frances. I know you can. Be brave."

Frances hooted and nudged Harry's finger. The boy sighed and withdrew his arm from the cage. He then heard somebody clear their throat behind him. When he turned around and saw it was Snape, his face turned white with anxiety.

"Any luck?" Severus asked the boy, walking over to where he and the owl stood. He nonchalantly reached in and gently pet the owl, who hooted happily at the familiar touch.

Harry shook his head and nervously sat down. "No, sir."

Severus nodded. "What time did you wake up? I thought you'd come into the kitchen for breakfast. You must be starving."

Harry shook his head. "No, sir." He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "I just woke up, actually."

"Would you like to join me for breakfast?" Snape asked. "I can have Daphne whip up some food for us."

"No, sir. I don't feel very hungry." Harry looked down at his hands, which Severus could see were shaking a little bit.

Harry clamped his eyes shut for a moment and opened them again. "You're going to make me talk about the memory, aren't you?" He asked shakily, gulping hard. His hands began to tremble more now that he was anticipating interrogating questions from Snape. "That's what you said last night. You…you…wanted to talk about…" Harry's voice started breaking much like it always did when he was anxious.

"You want me to—"

Severus reached out and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Relax, Harry. You don't have to talk about anything if you don't want. I just came in to make sure you were alright, that's all." Severus said reassuringly and sat next to Harry on the couch. "Are you alright? You gave me quite a scare yesterday. I was concerned about your state of mind."

Harry looked up from his lap and at Snape curiously. "You—" His eyes widened a tiny bit. "You were worried about me?"

"I was…very much, in fact." Severus said quietly and summoned two cups of tea from the kitchen. "Care for some tea?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess so. May I have some honey in it?"

Severus nodded. "It's already in. I know by now that you always take your tea with a bit of honey."

Harry had to smile at that. "Thanks."

Severus stirred his tea idly and watched Harry as he sipped his own. "I don't wish to make you talk about anything that might upset or embarrass you. Just for the record, that is never my intent."

Harry stopped drinking his tea and looked up into Snape's eyes. "I know that."

"You know that." Severus repeated slowly. "You know that, yet you will not talk about it with me? Talking about it will make you feel better. I wouldn't lie to you."

Harry hesitated for a moment and looked away from Severus. "I'm sorry. It just hurts to talk about it. It hurts…so much. You have no idea. I can't talk about it without crying like a little baby." Harry confessed softly, looking back to his tea now and wiping away a lone tear. "I'm sorry."

Severus put his arm around Harry and pulled him in so he was leaning against his professor's side. "You haven't done anything wrong, so do not say you're sorry. I'm just at a loss for what else I can do to help you. I'm running out of ideas."

"What do you mean? You've already helped me." Harry whispered, leaning further against Severus's warm side and closing his eyes, tea forgotten. Severus gently took the cup from Harry's hand and placed it on the table. Pulling Harry in closer, Severus leaned his head so it was resting atop Harry's. Severus could feel Harry was going to say more, so he refrained from speaking.

Harry's voice shook slightly as he spoke further. "You've always helped me, even at school. You were just so mean and nasty to me all the time that I never wanted to admit it. I knew it was you who saved me first year when Quirrell was hexing my broom, but I hated you so much that I never thanked you. You hated me too, so I never understood why you even wanted to help me. To be honest, it really confused me. I always assumed Dumbledore made you do it."

Severus frowned and the hair from Harry's head rubbed softly against his cheek. "I never hated you and Professor Dumbledore could never make me do something I truly did not wish to do." _Well, that was a lie_, Severus thought. "I behaved the way I did for reasons you could not possibly know. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Well…I don't hate you anymore either." Harry admitted quietly and unknowingly nuzzled his cheek against Severus's cloak. It smelled like pine and eucalyptus. "That doesn't mean you weren't a right bastard to me though. Will you tell me why?"

"Watch your mouth, Potter." Snape reprimanded softly, not really meaning it. Harry could sense that. "I'll tell you why if you promise to talk to me from now on if you're feeling hurt or sad."

"Okay." Harry said and smiled sadly into Snape's cloak. "But, I always feel that way."

Harry's words made Severus's heart sink. "Harry…" Severus started, but he did not know what else to say. "Please let it out."

Harry clutched Severus's robes tighter. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Everything." Snape admitted. "Put some of your pain on me and you'll feel better. I know it."

"How do you know?" Harry asked, puzzled. "How could you possibly know that?"

Snape sighed sadly. He knew this was coming. "Because I, too, have been hurt as you have been."

Harry was stunned and didn't speak for a while. "Was it your dad?" He finally asked, not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer. "Did he ever…hurt you?"

"Yes. He hurt me. Not as severely as your uncle had hurt you, but it was abuse nonetheless."

Harry's face fell and he held onto Snape a little bit tighter. "I'm sorry, professor. That's terrible." Harry spoke softly. "I had no idea. You're so…scary. I thought nobody would ever dare mess with you."

"We don't start out that way as children, you know. Not even your scary potions professor." Snape smiled sadly. "I was just a child."

Harry took in a deep breath, as though preparing to sing. "My uncle has been keeping me locked in a cupboard since I was three years old. Sometimes, he wouldn't let me eat for a week or more if he thought I did something bad. Something bad was usually because of accidental magic, but I didn't know that when I was little. Not until I was eleven. Once I got a little bit older, the beatings started. Then when I got a little older, he started pulling down my pants to whip me with his belt. It hurt so much more than my usual beatings."

"Usual beatings?" Severus asked quietly. "Nobody should ever need to use that phrase in a sentence, Harry. Do you understand how wrong their treatment was of you? They should be in jail. What they did to you was criminal."

Harry let out a sob against Severus's chest. "I know that now. But, when I was little, I couldn't have known that. I felt like nobody could ever love someone as stupid and unlikeable as me. It feels so dumb to say it out loud. But, you don't know what it's like. Everybody else had a mum and dad who loved them. Even the worst sort of kid. Even if no one at school liked them, they still had their parents to love them. My parents were dead. Nobody loved me."

Severus ran a hand up and down the child's back. "Your parents loved you very much. They would be so proud of you, Harry."

"How do you know?" Harry choked out.

"Because I knew your mother. I knew her very well, as I told you before. There was nothing in the world she loved more than you. Nothing." Snape said, continuing to rub the boy's back. "She died for you because she loved you. She wouldn't have been able to survive having lost you."

"Really?" Harry asked. "You know that for sure?"

Severus nodded. "Yes."

A few moments passed before Severus pressed on. "What else did your uncle do to you? Did he ever…force you to do anything?" He managed to ask, choking out the last few words. "The memory I saw during your occlumency lesson."

Harry sniffled and continued. "On the night of my birthday, my nightmares woke him up. He threw me down the steps and I was practically knocked out. Then, he undressed me before he beat me. And…after he beat me…he…" Harry let out a harsh cry that pierced Severus's ears. "He forced me to do…stuff…with him. He made me touch his…you know. Then, he said it was 'my turn'. He made me lay on my stomach and before I knew what was happening, I just felt a horrible pain, worse than any beating had been. While he was doing it, I kept throwing up, but he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. When he was done, my whole body felt sore. I felt dirty and disgusting all over. Like my body had been used."

Several tears dropped from Severus's eyes and into Harry's messy hair. "Everything's alright now, child. He can't hurt you anymore."

"I still feel disgusting." Harry choked out. "Just…disgusting."

"You're not disgusting. You're a perfectly normal teenager who had a disgusting relative that took advantage of the situation to suit his sick desires. You did not choose for any of that to happen. He did and he alone. Remember that." Severus rocked the boy back and forth in his arms as though Harry was no more than five years old. Harry began to sob uncontrollably against Snape. Finally, he calmed down well enough to sit up.

Severus took Harry's hand in his. "Do you feel any better?"

Harry nodded and began wiping at his eyes with his other hand. "Yeah, I do. But, it still hurts."

Severus squeezed Harry's hand reassuringly. "It's going to hurt for a long time. All we can do for now is try and ease the pain a little. Did we manage that?"

Harry smiled shyly and squeezed Severus's hand back. "I think so. Thank you."

Severus heard Frances's familiar hoot and looked over at the owl's cage. He was stunned when he saw the owl perched on the opened door outside of the cage.

"Harry, look. I think Frances was worried about you too." Severus whispered softly.

Harry glanced up at the cage and grinned with joy. "She came out! Not too far, but it's a start!"

Harry ran over to the cage and helped Frances stand on top of his arm. She hooted happily for a few moments before returning to the cage.

Severus nodded and thought silently about the boy. _Yes, it's a start_.

* * *

><p>"Professor, look! Look what Ron sent me!" Harry yelled happily to Snape. They were back at Hogwarts now for the last week of summer and Harry found he had a number of packages waiting for him that had been delivered while he was at the manor. Harry ran over to where Severus was reading a book and thrust the package onto his lap. Severus looked down to see a rather plain, but decently crafted, chess set. The chess pieces were made out of ornately cut glass and the board was a fine grade of marble.<p>

"It's a wizard's chess set!" Harry exclaimed, as though Snape was not able to see for himself what it was. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"Yes, I can see that." Snape answered dryly. "Well, that was certainly kind of Mr. Weasley. These can be quite expensive and I know the Weasleys are not the wealthiest bunch."

Severus quickly went back to reading his book, missing the crushed look on Harry's face.

"Do you ever play chess, professor?" Harry asked hopefully after a few minutes. "I mean, do you like it?"

Severus looked back up and now noted the classically hopeful look on Harry's face. "Harry, if you'd like me to play chess with you, just ask me. Maybe I'll say yes. Miracles have been known to happen once in a while."

"Okay." He blushed a bright shade of pink. "Would you like to play chess with me, sir?"

"I'd be happy to. But, I must warn you, I'm rather good at it." Severus answered, smirking. He took the chess set and placed it on the coffee table. He took a seat uncharacteristically on the floor on one side of the chess board. Harry plopped down across from him.

"Why'd you make me do that if you wanted to play anyway?" Harry asked, his brow showing anger.

"Because that would have been entirely less amusing." Snape answered, his smirk still ever-present. After he set up the chess board, Snape said "I will be black. You're white, so you should go first."

"Isn't it a bit racist? White always going first." Harry noted, eyeing his pieces. He always lost to Ron and was trying to remember Ron's usual first move. He assumed the only possibly move was with a pawn. Did it matter which pawn? Harry could not remember so he just selected a random one.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Fine, would letting me go first be more politically correct?"

Harry shook his head. "No, let me move." As in wizard's chess, Harry's pawn moved up two spaces by itself. "You're go."

After about ten minutes into the first game, Severus put Harry into checkmate easily and took his king. Harry was fuming-he didn't even have a chance to strategize yet! Even Ron never beat him _that _quickly and he was a whiz at chess.

"Care for a rematch?" Severus asked, resetting the board and noting Harry's childlike pout. "Beating you twice may prove to be even more fun than beating you once."

Harry just scowled at him and crossed his arms over his chest.

Severus smiled. "Or we could have some lunch. Hungry?"

Harry let a small grin appear on his lips. "Yeah."

The pair walked down to the Great Hall, which was still empty since it was summertime. However, summer was nearing an end and the children would be arriving back to Hogwarts in two days. Harry found himself strangely unhappy at the prospect. He became used to his one-on-one time with Snape and their quiet meals together. They were served their meals in the Great Hall which never seemed so peaceful when it was packed with students. As they sat there alone, it seemed blissful. Harry and Severus always had their choice of any seat at any house table, but usually chose Ravenclaw for some unknown reason.

"Are you excited for school to be starting?" Severus asked, watching Harry shove food into his mouth happily. "I imagine you must be anxious to be rid of my company and be back with your friends."

Severus was only joking, but Harry took it too seriously. Harry looked upset and put down his fork. "Why would you think that, professor? That's not true!"

Severus cocked his head to the side and looked at Harry curiously. "I was only kidding, Harry. Relax."

Harry sighed. "What do I tell them?"

Severus was confused. "About what?"

Harry shrugged and blushed lightly. "About…you know. Us."

Severus laughed a little bit as the prospect of 'us'. "And what is this 'us', Harry? Please enlighten me."

This made Harry blush more. "Stop it." He said quietly and shoved more food into his mouth. "You know what I mean."

Snape smirked and spoke softly. "I advise merely telling them that I looked after you over the summer since your relatives were unfit for the job. That is the truth, is it not? Just please be sure they do not tell anyone else, especially not any of the Slytherins. If word ever got back to the Dark Lord, I would be in deep trouble." Severus sobered at the thought. "It's very serious."

Harry nodded. "I know that. Ron and Hermione wouldn't tell anybody, sir. I promise."

Harry and Severus quietly continued to eat their meal until Severus saw Harry seemed to be thinking about something intently. "What's on your mind? You seem deep in thought about something."

"It's going to change, isn't it? Once we're back in school?" Harry asked sadly. "I mean, you won't be able to..." He sighed. "You're going to have to be mean to me again, right?"

Severus put down his fork and stared into Harry's eyes. "During class, I will need to keep my reputation intact to protect my role as a spy. Many of the Slytherins' parents have connections to the Dark Lord and it would be inadvisable to allow them to see me coddling you. The Dark Lord would find out in a heartbeat."

Harry looked away from Snape and back at his food. He was no longer very hungry and just pushed his food around on his plate. Suddenly, he saw Severus place his hand atop his own.

"Harry, I won't be cruel to you in class as I have been in the past. The way I acted towards you in previous years was inexcusable. I just meant that I won't be…like _this_. I will need to retain my role and reputation for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Surely you can understand that." Severus said gently. "Can't you?"

Harry looked up and saw the pleading expression on Snape's face. "Yeah, I guess so."

Severus continued. "And as long as you use that bloody invisibility cloak… you may come down to my chambers any time, day or night. That will not change, I promise you."

Harry nodded dejectedly. "Thank you, sir. But, I mean…you've already done everything you can for me. I don't see why you'd still want me hanging around the dungeons. You did what you needed to do and I'm better now for the most part. You don't need to keep helping me, I'm okay." He paused and remembered his failing attempts at occlumency. "Except for occlumency lessons. We will still be having those, won't we?"

"Yes." At Harry's words, Severus felt a pain inside…did the child look at himself merely as a burden? Severus thought that notion was, for the most part, behind them. "Did it not ever occur to your lousy excuse for a pea-brain that I may actually_ enjoy_ your company?" He spat out with more venom than intended.

Harry's eyes widened. "You mean…you actually _like_ having me with you?"

Severus sighed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "As much as I loathe to admit it…yes, I think I do."

Harry looked as though he was about to cry, but instead he got up from his seat and walked over to Severus and gave him a hug. Usually they only embraced when Harry was in the midst of some sort of hissy fit. This time, however, the hug was genuine and unprovoked by sadness. It was Severus's first genuine hug in a long, long time.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry was lying on Severus's couch the night before the first day of term, reading his new _Defense Against the Dark Arts_ textbook. He was studying a particularly interesting chapter on non-verbal spells when Severus walked in. He was so engrossed in the chapter that he did not notice the professor enter the room.

Severus had to suppress the smile that was trying to form on his mouth. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't due to the image before him-of Harry snuggling up on his couch…content, _happy_. Severus's half-suppressed smile began to fade as he thought of the fact that this would most likely be the last time this scene would be occurring in his quarters for a while. School would be starting the following day and he knew he had to relinquish Harry back to his friends, to his classes…to his normal life. Severus was happy that the child had seemingly overcome most of his anger issues by now revolving around his summer ordeal, but a part of him still felt a strong urge to care for the child. Where that feeling came from, he had no idea, but he had learned not to question it as much as he had done in the past. He secretly liked being the one to bring a smile to the boy's face, to be the one person who made him feel safe. After all, no one had taken the initiative in the past to perform that role for the child.

Snape ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat to get Harry's attention. "You should get some sleep. Classes are starting tomorrow. You don't want to be off the ball on your first day back, do you? Especially not in _Potions_." He sent Harry a knowing glare that made a small smile form on the boy's face.

"I shall endeavor to believe that since you actually had the time to study this summer, your performance will be significantly better in my class this year." Severus warned gently, taking a seat next to the teenager on the couch. He delicately took the book from Harry's hands and closed it up, placing it on the table. "You'll have plenty of time to study tomorrow. Now is the time for rest."

Harry fidgeted with his hands as he thought of what his professor had said about Potions class. It was true…he did have the opportunity to properly study this summer, not to mention he also received extra tutoring from Snape while he was living with him, but he was still nervous about starting classes. He wondered how much of his relationship with Snape would change once school was in session, especially if Harry did not perform well in Potions as Snape clearly anticipated.

"Sir…what will happen if I still perform badly in Potions?" Harry asked, his voice shaking slightly. "I mean…I did study more this summer than I ever have…and I did pay attention in our lessons, but—"

Snape interrupted him by placing a hand on Harry's knee and gently squeezing it. "First of all, in tomorrow's class we will be brewing a classic pain relieving potion. It is the same exact potion you helped me brew right after I brought you back from your relatives. I am certain you will have absolutely no trouble brewing it tomorrow. You know that recipe practically from memory." Snape reassured him. Harry went to interrupt him, when Snape cut in before he had the chance.

"That said—", the professor continued in a parental tone, "If you should experience any trouble in my class either tomorrow or any other day, I want you to come to me for help immediately. You know me well enough by now that I would be more than willing to help you if you are having a difficult time. Despite popular belief, I do not enjoy watching my pupils fail." Snape finished his monologue and gave Harry a second soft squeeze on his knee.

Harry nodded at the professor's offer of help, but soon yawned, as though remembering that he was indeed tired. "You're right, I should get some sleep. You should too. You can't effectively scare all those incompetent first years without proper sleep, can you?" Harry playfully teased his potions professor.

"Oh, I assure you," Severus said in a rather dangerous voice. "I could scare any one of those prepubescent first years on no sleep at all." He said dryly before letting a smirk appear on his face. "Now, up with you, and off to bed."

Harry grinned and turned to go get his usual blanket and pillow from the guest room (or was it Harry's room?), when a gentle hand reached out to stop him.

"Harry—" He started, and paused when he observed the confused look on the child's face. "I—I didn't mean…here." Snape finished the sentence quietly, almost regretfully. He then gave the child a knowing look. "School is technically in session now, so—"

Harry first appeared to be perplexed, but soon realized that Snape meant that he should go up to Gryffindor Tower to sleep.

Harry nodded mournfully. "Oh, I see—alright, that makes sense. After all, Ron is probably wondering where I am by now."

Severus sighed, obviously frustrated at Harry's dejected puppy dog face. "I just meant that since term has now officially begun, I suggest you take to sleeping in your dormitory with your friends from now on. They might deem it strange that you aren't in your bed…where you belong." He then corrected his words. "Where_ all_ students belong, Harry. How many students do you know that sleep in their professor's quarters?"

Although Harry knew his professor was right, the man's words still felt sharp. Snape very well knew the reason he wanted to sleep down there. He _knew _why. Besides the obvious reasons, he had gotten used to the man's company. He felt comfortable with him and it was easier to sleep when you knew someone could help you when you had a nightmare or save you if someone meant you harm. Plus, Harry knew he did not need to worry about what the man thought of him or what he did or said. He was safe with Snape. At least, safer than he had ever felt in the past, even at Hogwarts, his home.

Harry shrugged sadly. "None, I guess." He quietly gathered up his things and shoved them into his book bag forcefully. "I suppose I'll see you in class tomorrow…_Professor_." He laid a sharp emphasis on the word professor to (not so subtly) let Snape know his true feelings. Subtlety was never one of Harry's strong points.

Harry turned to leave when Snape reached out and grabbed the child's shoulder again. "Not so fast, Mr. Potter." Severus spoke more formally, which indicated to Harry that he was displeased. "I don't quite understand. All the years I've known you, the three of you were practically inseparable. Now you seem to not care whether or not you see your friends at all! You had dinner with them this evening and then came down here straight away. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by asking why. But, surely, Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger must think you've gone completely mad." Snape exclaimed. "What on Earth is going on?"

Harry pulled away from Snape's touch and backed away. "Nothing's going on! I love my friends. You know that! You _know_ that. I just—" Harry mumbled something incoherently and stalked towards the door in a huff. "Everything is fine, professor. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

With that, Harry shut the door a bit harder than necessary. _What has gotten into the child?_ Severus thought.

* * *

>"Welcome to fifth year potions class. This class will help you prepare for your potions OWL coming up at the end of this year. I expect nothing but one hundred percent dedication and obedience from every single one of you. I will remind you that I will only accept those who receive an Outstanding on their OWLS into my NEWT level potions class next year, so please take this class seriously. I trust you all read the required text over the summer?" Snape looked around the class and most students refused to meet his eyes, preferring to stare guiltily into their cauldrons. "I take it not many of you bothered to read the assigned text, so perhaps a quiz might not be bad idea, hm? Maybe that will teach you to actually prepare for class next time."<p><p>

Ron groaned. "A quiz? Please, sir. It's only the first day back!" He exclaimed, immediately regretting it.

"Silence, Mr. Weasley." Snape warned and sent him a dangerous glare. Severus thought about taking points away from Gryffindor for the insolent boy's outburst, which is what he would have done in the past. However, that would have meant that Harry would be even angrier with him than he was already. Not that Severus cared, he told himself, but after all the child had suffered over the summer; he did not wish to start out the first day of term by taking points from the boy's house.

Ron gaped at Snape in shock when he did not deduct any points, but merely moved on to discuss the day's lesson. "Wow, mate. I can't believe Snape didn't take points for that!" Ron whispered to Harry in delight. Harry forced a smile and nodded, but didn't respond.

Snape continued the lesson, occasionally looking towards Harry, who appeared to be sulking and not concentrating on his potion. The boy seemed to refuse to meet the man's eyes and whenever Snape looked at him, he ducked his head as low as possible. At one point, Harry nearly set his hair on fire because he was leaning down so low into his cauldron. Sighing, Severus walked over to Harry's cauldron after he noticed it was letting off more smoke than it should have been. When he stood next to Harry's cauldron, his heart fell slightly when he saw that its hue was a bright purple. The correct color at the final stage of the potion was blue. Severus sighed, staring at Harry's botched potion without anger, but with concern. He knew the boy had studied and actually _brewed _this particular potion before, so he was perplexed about how he could have possibly botched it up.

"Potter, what happened to your potion? It's supposed to be blue. Could you not follow the instructions?" Severus asked, lacking his usual sneer. When he realized his choice of words, he corrected himself. "What I meant to say…was there something unclear about my instructions?"

At that statement, Ron and Hermione stared at Snape as though he suddenly grew two heads, but Severus sent them a nasty look and they both returned to their cauldrons.

"Well?" Severus urged, his attention now back to Harry. The boy wouldn't look up at him and kept staring into his cauldron. "Look at me!" He exclaimed. "Potter, look at me and explain what happened to your potion!"

Suddenly, Harry jumped up and ran out of the room in such a rush, there was nothing Snape could do to stop him. _Shit_. Severus thought. More confused than ever, Severus looked around his class at the gaping faces of the students, who were all now whispering loudly. This was not at all how he expected Harry's first day back at school to turn out.

"SILENCE!" Snape bellowed angrily at the fifth years. "_Do not speak_! Finish up your potions as quickly as possible. Bottle them immediately and put them on my desk." Snape barked at the students. "Class will be dismissed slightly early today."

The students still continued to stare at him, not knowing what to think from Harry's strange outburst and Snape ending class early because of it. "I said finish your potions. _Now_!" He snarled at the class of gaping students and stalked out of the room to find Harry.

Snape raced down the hallway, his black robes billowing ominously behind him. _Where would Harry have gone? _Snape wondered. He wandered into the library to see if he had gone there, but the boy was not there. Then, he searched the Gryffindor common room, to which, again, Potter had not gone. He thought for a moment that perhaps he may have gone to the dungeons, but that would not have made any sense. If he was indeed running away from Snape, why would he go down to the dungeons? Nevertheless, Severus had a hunch that was where the boy was hiding.

Sure enough, when Snape entered his quarters, he found Harry curled up on the couch like a small child, his face buried into the pillow. Severus shook his head and slowly approached the boy. He sat down next to Harry's small feet and looked at the bundle of boy in front of him.

"What in Merlin's name was that about?" Severus asked, unable to hide his frustration. "Harry? Answer me." He was losing his cool now. "POTTER! Answer me this instant!"

Harry lifted his head up and turned to face his professor, tears dripping lazily down his face, his eyes flooded with hurt.

"Harry, what is going on?" Severus asked, his voice suddenly soft and soothing at the sight of Harry's tearstained face. "You're acting erratic. Merlin, tell me what is the matter. Please."

"I can't do this!" Harry yelled over his own tears while springing up off the couch. "I can't go from having the closest thing I've ever had to a dad, and then be expected to just give it up all in one day. I can't! I won't."

Snape felt as though his heart had suddenly stopped beating and found that he could no longer recall how to breathe. He was simply stunned. _A dad? What have I gotten myself into?_

Severus just stared straight ahead, deep in thought, causing Harry to stir uncomfortably beside him. Assuming, by his professor's reaction, that the man was displeased at what Harry had just disclosed, the boy began breathing rapidly and closed his eyes to try and calm down. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean it like that…I take it back. I take it back…"

Severus, without speaking, simply reached out and placed a single finger over the boy's lips. Harry's lips stopped shaking at the peculiar touch. Severus did nothing else, but say the word "Don't." in nearly a whisper.

Harry began stuttering. "Don't… don't what?"

"Don't take it back." Severus clarified. He took in a hard swallow and continued. "I don't like this situation any more than you do…to be perfectly honest. I've gotten used to having you…" he swallowed hard again, obviously having trouble expressing himself, "with me. It's been so long since I've…cared for someone..." Severus trailed off. "I've lived most of my adult years alone, in isolation. The last person I ever truly cared for was your mother, believe it or not. After her death, I've worked so hard at _not _getting close to anyone, that I've forgotten how wonderful it can be."

Harry leaned back against the couch and held a cushion up to his chest. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded…I just liked having someone around to look after me for a while. It was nice. I've never had that before. It just felt…right." Harry sighed. "Merlin, do I sound stupid or what?"

Snape smiled and shook his head. "Not stupid, Harry."

After a few moments of sitting in silence, Severus thought for a few moments before speaking again. "Harry…have you given any thought to where you want to stay during the holidays? Given I will not allow you to return to that disgusting filth you call your family."

Harry shrugged. "I have no problem staying here at the castle."

"Over Christmas holiday?" Snape asked, slightly worried about the child's indifference.

Harry shrugged again. "Well, usually I spend Christmas Day with the Weasleys. Mrs. Weasley might not be wealthy, but she always makes sure I get a present on Christmas. Last year, she sewed me a scarf. It wasn't much, but at least it was something."

Severus took in the information carefully. "I can understand if you would like to spend the Christmas holiday with the Weasleys, however I want to extend an invite for you to spend it at my home. You should not be left alone in the Castle unprotected, for one. And secondly…well, I'd like to have you. That is, if you'd like to."

Harry felt a very warm sensation overcome his whole body, almost like a soft glow that crept over his skin. "Sure. I'd like that. Thank you."

Snape nodded. "Don't thank me yet. I should warn you, I spend a few days over at my sister's house during the holiday. Let's just say I would vastly prefer spending an entire afternoon alone with Mr. Longbottom and Mr. Weasley than with my sister. She isn't the most pleasant person, but she has no other family so I feel obligated to visit her once a year on Christmas."

Harry smiled, remembering what Daphne had told him. "I forgot you had a sister. She's a muggle, isn't she?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Damn elf…"

Harry smiled and patted Severus's knee. "You know Daphne loves you, sir. She doesn't mean to embarrass you."

Severus smiled. "So you agree, then?"

Harry nodded. "Yes…and I'm sorry again about today. I know how to brew that blasted potion…I just felt too upset to make it properly. I'll do better next class, sir."

Severus nodded. "I certainly hope so." Harry's face fell ever so slightly, but Severus noticed. "I take that back. I _know_ so."

Harry laughed and leaned his head against Severus. "Sir, can I ask one more thing?"

Severus nodded. "Of course. What is it?"

"Will you still let me stay here once in a while? I mean, just if…you know…" Harry mumbled.

"Any time." Snape smiled weakly and rustled Harry's hair.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been able to update in a couple of months. My life has gotten crazy and not in the good way. But I am on vacation now and have some time to write a new chapter. I really love how this story is turning out so I do want to keep updating regularly; I just have not had much time lately. Anywho, those who have been asking me for an update, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the fantastic reviews! =) Warning: This chapter contains OOTP spoilers.

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><p>A few weeks after term began Severus saw a big improvement in Harry's potion making and in his school grades in general. He made sure to let Harry know how well he was doing and offered to help him with his studies, which he guessed might have been the reason for the turnaround.<p>

After term began, Severus did see a lot less of Harry than while they were together even though they shared dinner once a week on Tuesdays and Harry stayed in his quarters every Saturday night after their occlumency lesson. He did not want to admit it to himself, but he missed the child desperately. He found himself being disappointed when he would come home from a long day and felt that he had nobody to tend to or take care of. He had gotten so used to it. Now, he had nobody to talk to or tuck into bed or help or cook dinner for. The quality of his meals diminished greatly except for on Saturdays and Tuesdays, when he shared his meals with Harry. Any other time, he just did not put as much care into it. After a long few weeks of thinking, he decided to do something about it. He wanted to offer to Harry the gift of a permanent home…together. He wanted to become Harry's guardian. There was just one issue…after he received the document from the ministry, he saw that he would need certain people to sign the guardianship papers. Severus, Sirius, Dumbledore, and lastly, Harry himself. He was sure Harry and Severus would be the only ones in agreement of the arrangement, but he needed the other people to sign before he told Harry.

"Where are we going, Professor? You still haven't told me." Harry asked Snape and he watched the older wizard throw powder into the floo. Harry had been asking Severus the same question all morning and was not receiving any answers.

"You will soon find out. Have some patience, Potter." Severus answered vaguely only because he knew it bothered Harry. Observing how the boy's curiosity gets the better of him gave Snape a chuckle every now and then and in his stressful life, he had to take his kicks where he could get them. Severus had never met anybody who was as curious as Harry. It seemed to be both a blessing and a curse for the boy, Severus thought to himself.

"Grab my hand, child." Severus said gently to Harry as they stepped into the floo. Harry held on to Severus and within five seconds they landed on their feet in an unfamiliar fireplace.

Harry relaxed once he saw Molly Weasley walk up to them with a gigantic smile on her face. She greeted them warmly, as usual, and smothered Harry with hugs and kisses.

"Harry dear, I have a birthday present for you! I was going to give it to you at the train station, but then Ron told me you weren't taking the train because you were staying at school during holiday. Anyway, dear, here you go." Molly smiled warmly and handed the wrapped box to Harry. "It's not much, but it will be useful once winter comes."

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley! You didn't have to get me anything!" Harry smiled and instantly ripped opened the package. Severus watched as the boy opened a handmade knitted sweater and gloves.

"These are great, Mrs. Weasley. Thanks!" Harry grinned. Receiving gifts for Harry was a rare occasion, so he felt a rush of gratitude overcome him as he opened his gifts.

"Thanks Molly." Severus said and took the gifts from Harry. "I can hold them for you. Why don't you go find Mr. Weasley and do whatever you boys…do…when you're together…" Snape trailed off.

Harry nodded, but then remembered he had no idea where he was or why everyone was meeting here. "What is this place anyway?" He asked as he looked around at the aging wallpaper of the room.

Severus smiled. "We're having an Order meeting. Remember we talked about the Order?"

"Oh, right." Harry mused. "But why are you having it in this old house?"

"We're using the mutt's old house for our meetings now. Considering he isn't able to do anything else constructive to help the Order, the very least he could do was let us use his house for our meetings." Severus spat out with obvious disdain for Sirius.

"Please don't talk about Sirius that way. I really don't like it." Harry said quietly. He had a good relationship with Snape now, but he still hated when he talked badly about his father and godfather.

"Where is the dog anyway?" Snape muttered. "I need to speak with him about something."

Molly shook her head disapprovingly. "Severus, honestly, you shouldn't talk that way about the boy's godfather… and Sirius is inside the kitchen. Behave yourself, Severus."

"I need a private word with him before we start the meeting." Severus said with a hint of dread in his voice. "As much as I wish I did not."

"Sirius is here?" Harry's eyes widened in excitement and ran into the kitchen before Molly and Severus could even answer his question. When he entered the kitchen, he saw Sirius sipping on a glass of wine at the kitchen table.

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed in utter joy and the man got up from his seat and ran over to Harry. Severus stepped into the kitchen just as the two were clinging to one another in a happy embrace.

A stab of jealousy hit Severus like a bullet at the sight and he had the urge to start dry heaving right there, but he refrained from letting it show. "Harry, I need to speak with your godfather. Can you please remove yourself from his person this instant?" He spat out with a dose of venom reserved specifically for Sirius, but wrongfully aimed towards Harry.

Sirius snorted at the sight of Severus. "Oh great, Snivellus is here. I should have known, I can practically smell the old grease bat from over here." Sirius said while staring at Snape hatefully. A surge of anger hit Severus at the comment and he suddenly had the urge to punch the other man hard in the groin.

"Sirius, you shouldn't say—" Harry started, but was interrupted by Snape.

"Can I speak to you alone please? I can assure you it is not because I want to." Severus asked. "Not in the slightest."

Sirius sighed. "Well Harry, let's catch up after the meeting, shall we? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

Harry grinned and nodded excitedly. "That sounds great!"

Severus cleared his throat. "I'm afraid I will be taking him back to Hogwarts right after the meeting, so I suppose you'll need to do that another time" Severus retorted with a smirk. "Harry, can you step outside? I need to speak with your dogfather…alone."

Harry sighed sadly and nodded. "I'll see you later, Sirius." His face fell when Snape told him he wouldn't be able to spend time with Sirius after the meeting. He hadn't seen his godfather since before the summer started and he missed him terribly.

Once the pair of enemies was alone together, Snape sat down across from Sirius and stared at him.

Sirius looked bored already. "Well, what is it, Snivellus? I have better things to do than to be sitting here with you."

"Like what? You're in hiding, you imbecile." Severus retorted. "Are you anxious to go back to sleep…or were you planning on staring into space instead?"

"Just get on with it, Snivellus!" Sirius said angrily.

Severus cleared his throat and his face suddenly became very serious. "I want to inform you, since you are listed as the next of kin after Harry's aunt and uncle, that there has been…an unfortunate incident…involving Harry." He spoke with a hint of melancholy and sadness in his tone. "Very unfortunate."

"An incident?" Sirius asked, now concerned. "What kind of incident?"

"We've discovered that he has been…getting mistreated by his relatives for quite a long while now. We removed him from his home a few weeks ago and his condition has improved dramatically, physically and mentally, as well as his grades in school. Considering he no longer needs to worry about the possibility of getting beaten to a pulp by his uncle every holiday. So, in light of that, I thought—"

Sirius was taken aback. "Whoa, whoa, whoa…" He shook his head in disbelief. "Are you telling me Harry has been getting physically _abused_? And I didn't know about it?" An angry fire was blazing in his eyes now. "How is that even possible?"

"No one knew about it. Harry didn't tell anybody. He was too embarrassed and scared to talk about it with anyone." Severus composed himself, trying to ease his anger. "When I found out, I immediately—" Snape started, but was cut off by a loud, angry outburst from his childhood nemesis.

"He told YOU instead of me?" Sirius yelled. "YOU? He doesn't even like you! He thinks you're an arrogant greasy git like everyone else does. No one likes you, Snivelly, least of all Harry."

"He didn't—"

"YOU?" He shouted again, repeating his earlier statement. "Are you kidding me? He told YOU before he told me? You do know he hates you, right?"

Now Severus was losing his patience. "HE DIDN'T _TELL_ ME, YOU IDIOT!" Severus shouted now to match Sirius's volume. "I discovered him in the closet while his family was away, beaten to a pulp and almost to the point of near death. I healed his wounds and he stayed with me at school until he was better. And for your information, he doesn't hate—"

Sirius was now more hurt than angry. "He _lived_ with _you_ instead of coming to me? I always told him he could come to me any time, day or night, if he ever had a problem. I really wanted to be there for him. I can't believe this…" Sirius shook his head. "I told him to come to me…"

Severus snarled at the other man and looked upon him with disgust. "Are you seriously turning this around to be about you? The boy was _abused _and you're more concerned about the fact that you weren't his first pick? Are you that selfish or just a stupid dog like I've always suspected?" Snape barked at the angry man. "This isn't even the reason I wanted to speak with you. I just thought you should know."

"Shut up, Snivellus. I don't want to hear any more. I need to talk to Harry this instant and I don't give a damn if you don't want me to. Where is he even going to go? He has no one left. His aunt and uncle were his last hope. He doesn't have any family left, so the only alternative is me. He'll have to stay here. Who else will take him?" Sirius said angrily.

"That's the reason I wanted to speak to you…I would like to take him. I would like him to stay with me in a more permanent way." Snape said in a sort of finality. "I know what he is suffering through and I think it would be best…for Harry. So, I brought the guardianship papers with me. I'll need your signature."

Sirius snorted loudly. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" He now stared icily at Snape. "Surely he wouldn't want to live with _you_. Who the _Hell _would ever want to live with you? And besides that, Harry told me you have been nothing but nasty and cruel to him since the day he started Hogwarts. Now _suddenly_ you're mister nice guy? It doesn't work like that, Snivelly. You couldn't possibly make up for all the hurt you've caused him in the past. And you think he would honestly want to look at your greasy old face every day? _Honestly_?" Sirius was trying to hurt Severus and this time, it seemed to be working. "In yours dreams, Snivellus."

Even though he clearly had no respect for Sirius's opinion, the harsh words from Sirius lingering in the air still stung Severus's heart. "Fine. Go ask him then. See if I give a shit. Go live happily ever after for all I care." Severus spat and walked out.

"HARRY?" Severus called the second he stepped out of the kitchen. "GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

At the sound of Severus's unusually angry tone, Harry rushed downstairs. He saw the unmistakable look on Severus's face that Harry now clearly recognized. He used to think it was anger, but then he realized a while back that it is the look he had on whenever he wanted to burst out crying, but couldn't bring himself to do so in front of others.

"Professor, what happened?" Harry asked softly. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing that is any of your concern, POTTER!" Severus shouted coldly, but his eyes spoke otherwise. "I won't be joining the meeting today. Floo back to Hogwarts when you're done here."

Harry looked crushed. "Professor, you don't have to leave because of Sirius! I can talk to him…"

"ENOUGH!" Severus shouted. "That's enough. Meet me back at school when you're done! That's it, I need to leave now. Here are your gifts. Take them." Severus said and shoved the gifts into his hands with an angry push.

Severus anxiously clutched the now useless guardianship papers that were stuffed inside his pocket that he was planning on having Sirius sign. He needed to leave before any tears had the chance to slip out of his eyes. The unshed tears were burning in the back of his eyes like sharp knives. He swept past Molly and Arthur and stepped into the floo. If Harry wanted him, he could just floo back himself. He felt as though he was watching all of his plans crash down right in front of his eyes. He could see it all now…Sirius would ask Harry to live with him. Harry would accept happily and Snape would be cast aside yet again. Severus Snape, unwanted outcast and least favorite professor of all, would end up alone like always. Once he landed in his own fireplace, he punched the nearest wall in a blind rage. Clutching his hurt knuckles, he stormed off into his lab. Brewing potions always seemed to calm him down whenever he was really upset.

Harry turned to Mrs. Weasley and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

"It's not your fault, dear. Those two have never gotten along. Let me whip you up some food before we start the meeting. You'll feel better." Molly cupped the boy's cheeks and led him into the kitchen.

Sirius stood up when Harry walked in, but this time he received no warm greeting or affection from Harry.

"What did you say to him? I need to know." Harry exclaimed.

"To who? Snivellus? I didn't say anything that wasn't true." Sirius snorted and sat back down.

Harry was losing his cool now. "He was about to _cry_! Do you know that?"

Sirius snorted. "A man with no heart is not able to cry, Harry. And Severus has no heart. I don't know what he has been telling you all of a sudden, but I've known him my entire life. People don't change overnight."

"What did you say to him?" Harry repeated; his eyes now cold and icy.

Sirius sighed. "He told me…what happened to you this summer. And to be honest, I was extremely disappointed that you felt you couldn't come to me. I could have been the one to help you, Harry. Then he tells me that you were staying with him and all of this other stuff and it just made me so angry. I could have been the one to help you. You're my godson…"

Harry's eyes softened at the admission. "I didn't choose any of this. Snape found me. He came like some kind of magical rescuer in the night. Without asking for anything, he chose to fix me and heal me and help me. I didn't have to ask him. He just knew…somehow…"

Sirius laughed. "I can't believe this, you thinking Snivelly is some kind of savior."

"I don't understand why you're so angry. So what if he helped me out?" Harry pleaded with his godfather. "It's not like I sought him out. He came and rescued me when I needed it most."

"I'm just happy you're alright now, Harry. That is the most important thing, of course." Sirius said softly. "But then he started saying this stuff about how he wanted you to live with him. And I just lost it. I know deep down that can't be what you want."

Harry's heart felt as though it suddenly stopped. "He…he said what?" Harry whispered. "He said what?"

"He wants to take you in." Sirius said softly. "But I told him you would never want that. You don't want that, do you? Because you don't have to do it, Harry. We could live together right here."

Harry shook his head in disbelief and ran out of the kitchen, thinking only of Severus. He threw some powder into the floo and said Diagon Alley. Once he was in Diagon Alley, he used the secret passageway to get into Hogwarts. Once inside, he ran swiftly down to the dungeons.

"Professor!" Harry panted as he entered the dungeons. "Professor!"

Severus was in his lab and heard Harry calling his name. He didn't think the boy would return this quickly. He walked upstairs and saw the boy panting and sweating from running.

"Calm down, child." Severus soothed and led Harry over to the couch. "Everything is okay. It's okay."

Harry was shaking his head. "What did he say to you? What did he say about me?"

Snape looked bewildered. "Who said what about you?"

"He told me." Harry whispered. "He told me you wanted to take me in…to live with you…and that he yelled at you because he was angry about it."

Severus suddenly looked highly embarrassed. He sighed and reached over and cupped Harry's hand with his own. "I wasn't going to tell you this yet…but yes, I do want that, but you don't have to. There is no pressure. The most important thing is for you to be happy…and if you think you'd be happier with your godfather, than I am fine with that. You deserve to be happy, Harry, and I don't want to make you do anything against your wishes."

"Have to? Professor, I've been waiting fifteen years for someone to tell me they want me." Harry's eyes welled up with tears. "And now Sirius told you I didn't want to live with you and everything is ruined. But, that's not true! I do want to! That is all I want…for someone to want me…to have someone with me."

"Relax…relax…nothing is ruined, Harry. I promise. Shhhhh…child, it's okay." Severus cooed as he carded his hands through Harry's soft locks of hair. "Nothing could ever be ruined. I'm always going to be by your side, no matter what."

"What did he say to you?" Harry whispered softly as he rested his head against Severus's warm cloak.

"The same stuff he's been saying to me for twenty years. Do not mind it." Severus continued to run his fingers skillfully through the boy's hair in a calming motion as Harry melted involuntarily into the man's side. "I'm not innocent either. We've been arguing with each other since first year."

"He must have said _something _that hurt your feelings. I saw it in your eyes." Harry admitted. "I want to know what he said."

"He said that you would never want to live with someone like me and that you would never want to see my greasy looking face every day and that you would be happier living with him instead." Severus said in almost a whisper. "But they weren't your words, Harry. They were his. So pay no mind to it."

Anger welled up inside Harry at Severus's words. _How dare Sirius speak for me that way!_ He thought to himself.

"I need to go back there and talk to him, please." Harry said suddenly and bolted out of his seat. "Not about you, I just need to talk to him. Please." Harry begged.

Those gorgeous green eyes got Severus again and he brought Harry back to Grimmauld Place.

Severus patted Harry's back. "I will be waiting here to take you back. Just come get me when you're done."

Harry nodded and walked into the kitchen. He saw Sirius eating a sandwich. When Sirius looked up, he gave Harry a big grin. However, Harry did not return it.

"Why did you say those terrible things to Snape?" Harry asked accusingly. "Now I definitely have no interest living here, if that's how you treat the people who mean something to me."

Sirius looked crushed. "Don't I mean anything to you anymore?"

That statement hurt Harry and he softened and sat down across from him. "Of course you do, Sirius. I wanted nothing more than to be a family with you, but you never offered for me to stay here during holiday….ever. I waited and waited…every holiday since third year." Harry brought his hand up to his eye to wipe away a stray tear.

Sirius leaned in and took Harry's hand. "People are after me, Harry. It wouldn't be stable for you here. As much as I wanted to be a family, it wouldn't have been safe for you. I'm constantly on the run or in hiding."

"Then why even say those things to Snape if you knew I couldn't live here anyway?" Harry asked, now exasperated from anger. "Why did you even bother? Just for sport?"

"Please understand I was just jealous in the moment. I'm sorry. Truly. "Sirius conceded. "That doesn't mean my opinion of Severus will ever be changed though, Harry. I do not like the man and I never will. I have no idea what you could possibly see good in him. Maybe you have been blinded by the slight gesture of gratitude that he tossed your way out of pity. Maybe one day you'll see that."

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Harry jumped out of his seat and exclaimed. "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM! He's done more for me in the last two months than you ever did! Ever! And I'm going to live with him whether you sign the paper or not!"

He turned and bolted out of the kitchen. He heard Sirius calling after him, pleading for him to stay, but Harry grabbed Severus's hand and pulled them both into the floo.

"Take me home now, Professor." Harry said as he tossed powder into the floo.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the great reviews on the last chapter! To answer some people's question: don't worry, Sirius and Severus get along later on, I just love writing Sirius and Severus fight scenes. I tried to make it as realistic as possible. Also, this story won't ever be slash (although I do enjoy writing Snarry too).

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><p>Harry and Severus were sharing a quiet meal later on that night. Neither of them wanted to really speak about what happened, but the silence was bothering Severus. <em>Is it possible that the boy is reconsidering the guardianship? <em>He wondered sadly to himself.

"Harry, what are you thinking about?" Severus asked softly. "You seem awfully quiet this evening."

Harry shrugged. "It's nothing." He said glumly.

Severus nodded sadly and absentmindedly pushed food around his plate. "Are you unhappy about our new plan? You can tell me if you don't want me to be your guardian. I will understand." Severus would never admit that it would crush him if Harry rejected his offer, so he tried to refrain from showing any emotion in his face.

Harry shook his head adamantly. "No, I'm so happy about that. You have no idea how happy…" He sighed. "I just don't like being in a fight with Sirius. We've always been so close. We've never had a fight before…" He trailed off.

"Well, you don't have to fight with him for my sake. Please do not think that I want that…because I don't. I want you to be happy." Severus reassured. "I did not ask you to argue with your godfather nor do I wish it to continue…at least not on my account."

"How could I not stand up for you after those horrible things he said? Did you really think I should just let it go without saying something?" Harry exclaimed and threw his fork on the table. "No, no. I had to. I had to!"

"Shhhhh, calm down. It's alright. I _did _appreciate what you said to him, but I think it's more important for you to forgive and forget. He obviously means a lot to you and you don't want to lose that." Severus said, wanting to vomit at the thought that he was actually somehow defending his nemesis. "Don't keep it going for my sake, please. I have too much guilt already; I don't need one more ounce of guilt for an entire lifetime."

"YOU didn't forgive and forget though. You still hate him…I know you do." Harry said softly. "But no matter what he says or does…I can't bring myself to hate him like you do." He looked down at his lap now. "I…I love him. He's like my family…I'm sorry…" He admitted so sadly that Severus put down his fork as well.

Severus shook his head. "I do not want you to hate him, Harry. Please. You have a right to love whomever you wish. Now, let's stop talking nonsense. When you are ready, I will bring you back to see him, you can make up, and resume as you were. No harm done. Alright?"

Harry nodded and brought his dish to the sink. "Do you want me to wash the dishes, sir? I don't mind."

"No, I'll do that. Why don't you do some studying?" Severus urged. "We have a potions test on Monday, don't forget." He said, giving Harry a classic Snape smirk. "Did you forget?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I didn't forget. I just don't feel like doing anything right now. I think I'll just go to bed." Harry said mournfully. He began walking towards his room, but turned around to look at Snape. He saw an unmistakable sadness in his eyes.

"Professor?" Harry called to him. Severus looked up with glassy eyes and Harry continued. "I'm very happy to be having you as my guardian. I can't wait, actually. Please don't think my feelings about Sirius will be changing anything, okay?"

Snape nodded and gave Harry a weak smile. "Good. I'm glad."

Harry returned the smile. "Goodnight, Professor."

"Goodnight, Harry." Severus took a small pause to collect his thoughts. "And I wouldn't worry about Sirius. No matter how much I dislike him…I cannot deny the fact that he cares for you a great deal. You two will be fine, I am sure of it." Severus said quietly.

Harry nodded and gave Severus a weak smile and went off to bed.

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><p>"Black." Severus stated in disdain as he sat across from the man at Grimmauld Place.<p>

"Snivellus." Sirius spat. "Back so soon? Didn't have enough fun last time? I didn't think I'd have to look at your greasy face until the next meeting."

Anger welled up inside of Severus at his words, but he refrained from lashing out. He was not going to take the bait this time. "I've come only to discuss Harry."

"Right, right. I almost forgot Harry is like your best friend now. Tell me; is Lucius jealous that the Dark Lord's prey is now practically living with you? Last time I talked to Harry it seemed as though you have his full adoration."

"That is not what I've come to discuss." Severus said icily through clenched teeth. "Can't you think of someone besides yourself for five minutes?"

"I think of Harry first always, so don't you dare give me that." Sirius said accusingly. "Now, what is the problem?"

"Please just write to him or visit him or something. He is falling apart because he thinks you're mad at him. He was doing so well in school and now he botched up his last potions test. I think you owe him an apology." Severus told the man angrily. "Please. I know you won't do it for me, but just do it for Harry. He was finally feeling better and now he's all sad again. I don't like seeing him this way." Severus admitted.

"You know I would do anything for Harry." Sirius said curtly. "Floo here around seven tonight and I'll be here."

"Fine." Severus spat and flooed back to Hogwarts.

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><p>Severus watched through the kitchen door as Sirius and Harry were talking. He observed that Harry was laughing on occasion so he surmised that it must have been going well. Severus sighed to himself and began skimming the options on the bookshelf as he waited. Not seeing anything of interest to him (<em>not a surprise, it was the mutt after all<em>, he thought to himself), he began to wander about the house. He passed an old bedroom as he strolled along that he guessed must have belonged to Sirius. Deciding to be a snoop, he cracked the door open a hair only to find an aged bedroom in utter disarray. This could not have been the room he was currently residing in. He stepped through the room which had papers ridden all over the floor. Papers and books were sticking out of open drawers, the bed looked as though the linens had not been changed since the '70s, and a few glass figurines were broken and smashed along the floor.

He was about to leave when he realized that he recognized the handwriting on one of the letters. When he picked it up, his heart skipped a beat. It was a letter to James from Lily. Judging from the date on the postage it must have been from their summer before sixth year. Silently, he realized that the letter was from the summer directly after the year…the year he and Lily's friendship would be broken forever. A lone tear trickled down his cheek as he read the letter.

_Dear James,_

_It was a blast getting to know you this year! I can't wait for school to begin, can you? I'm really starting to miss all of my friends. I live in a Muggle neighborhood, so it gets boring sometimes. I used to spend time with Severus over the holiday since he lives near me…but you know what happened. I know I can't forgive him, but I admit that I do miss him an awful lot sometimes. I don't know any other magical folk in this neighborhood. Anyway, I received my class schedule and it looks pretty good. I hope your summer is going well! Write me back if you're thinking about me too. _

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

Even though he knew it was uncalled for and completely childlike, he ripped the letter into pieces in an angry rage and threw them to the ground. _James Potter_. Severus thought angrily. _Arrogant, spoiled, bastard…_ How dare he take away his best friend like that? His potential lover? As he watched Lily's girlish, yet mature-for-her-years handwriting fall like scraps to the ground, he suddenly felt very ashamed of himself. He knew it was his own fault that their friendship was ruined. He just wished she had given him _one last chance_ to make everything better. If she had, maybe he would not have joined the Dark Lord and she would still be alive. _Maybe we would even have had a child together_. Severus mused. Wiping his eyes one last time, he headed back downstairs.

He poked his head into the kitchen and saw that Harry and Sirius had obviously made up. Harry was smiling and the two were sharing tea together.

"Almost ready to go?" Severus asked, not realizing his voice would come out so raspy from crying. He hoped the two would not notice it. "It's almost nine, it's getting late."

"Okay." Harry noticed the man's unusually red eyes and became concerned. "Are you alright, Professor? Your eyes…"

"I'm fine, Harry. I'll be in the other room. Come out when you're done." Severus said in a choppy voice and forced a weary smile.

After Severus turned to leave, Harry grinned widely at Sirius.

"I'm going to go now. Thanks for everything." Harry said and gave his godfather a big hug.

Sirius nodded. "It is no matter, Harry, but there is one last thing I would like to say before you go."

Harry turned around cautiously. "What's that?"

Sirius looked down at his lap. "I will sign the guardianship papers because _you _asked me to, but I still do not think it's what would be best for you. I just want you to know that."

"Why wouldn't it be best for me? I'm happy for once!" Harry exclaimed defensively. "Don't you want me to be happy? I don't understand…"

"He was a _Death Eater_, Harry. He constantly meets with the very person who is aiming to kill you. I just don't like it. I will never feel as though you are completely safe…with him…despite the fact that your feelings toward each other have changed." Sirius sighed. "But I'll sign the damn paper…can you go get it from him? I'm not up to a sparring match with Snivellus right now."

Harry nodded glumly and walked into the other room. He saw Severus staring into space, obviously in deep thought about something. He did not hear the boy come into the room, so Harry poked him in the arm awkwardly.

"Um, Professor?" Harry said to get his attention. "Sirius said he would sign the paper. Can I have it?"

It took Severus a few seconds to look up and hand it to him, although he did not say a word. He seemed deep in reverie.

"Thanks. I'll be right out." Harry spoke sadly, wondering what had gotten into his teacher.

Sirius reluctantly signed the paper and the pair flooed back to Severus's quarters. It was Saturday, so Harry happily got his blanket and pillow from his room and made himself a little bed on the couch in front of the fireplace. Usually on Saturdays, Severus would sleep on the other couch across from Harry's and the two of them would talk until one of them fell asleep…just talk about anything and everything. It seemed strange, but it only started because Severus was worried about leaving Harry alone directly after the abuse. Now that Harry was better, they just kept doing it because it felt nice. Two lonely people talking in the quiet of the night once or twice a week. But, on that night, Severus just went into his bedroom the second they flooed back without saying one word to Harry. Not even goodnight.

* * *

><p>Harry did not know what to do. He was hurt that Severus would just leave him there without even saying so much as "goodnight" or speaking to him at all…especially since Sirius had <em>just<em> signed the guardianship papers. They had reason to celebrate! Harry decided to write him through the parchment. Maybe then he would get some answers.

_Professor,_

_Are you okay?_

_You didn't even say goodnight._

_When I came out of my bedroom you were gone._

_Did I do something wrong?_

_~Harry~_

Severus Snape was lying in his bed, tears flowing out of his eyes uncontrollably like a broken faucet. He had no idea why the letter from Lily upset him so much...only that it did…very, very much. The woman he loved all of his life had already been dead for fifteen years and yet just_ seeing_ those words in writing made him lose all control over his emotions. Suddenly, just as his sobbing began to finally subside, a light glowed on his nightstand. Harry was using the parchment. Even though they still used it once and a while, Harry slowly stopped relying on it eventually and now it was a rare occasion to see the parchment glow.

When Severus read it, his heart lurched when he realized it was Saturday. _Harry. I completely forgot about Harry!_ Not bothering to write a response through the parchment, he threw on his robe and went out into the living room. He stopped in the doorway and smiled at the sight of Harry staring at the parchment, obviously waiting for a reply. Parchment in hand, Snape quickly wrote:

_Look up, silly_

Harry looked up and smiled when he saw Severus. Severus returned the grin, as best he could. "Did I wake you?" He smirked.

Harry blushed. "I thought you forgot about me….I mean, it's Saturday…"

Severus walked over to Harry and sat on the couch across from him. He summoned a mug of hot cocoa for Harry and a glass of wine for himself.

"I apologize, Harry. I was deep in thought about something…else." Severus's face suddenly turned solemn once again. "Something else… and I did not mean to abandon you when you were waiting for me."

Harry fidgeted before speaking. "I don't mean to pry, but…" He trailed off.

Severus answered his unasked question. "I found an old letter at your godfather's house…a letter to your father from your mother."

Harry was confused. Why would a _letter_ cause such a strong reaction in the man? "Well…why are you upset about that? I mean, I know you liked my mom when you were kids… but it's just an old letter."

Severus shook his head. "I know that, Harry. Please let's just forget it. Now, what did you and your _dear_ godfather discuss?" He added a classic sneer (as only Snape could sneer) as he spat out the word 'dear'.

Harry shrugged. "I just explained what happened over the past month or so and he apologized to me." He paused to collect his thoughts. "But…he did say he still doesn't want you to be my guardian."

"Then why did he sign the paper?" Severus snorted. "Didn't have anything better to do?" He asked sarcastically.

Harry shrugged. "No…he signed it because I asked him to and he knew I really wanted it…"

Snape put down his glass in a sort of angry motion. "What was his reason this time? My greasy face? My slimy hair? The fact that I enjoying reading? What?" Severus sneered and waited for Harry to answer, but the boy did not move to speak. "Well, what is it, Potter? What did the blasted dog say his reason was for not wanting to sign the paper? I'm waiting."

The use of Harry's formal last name made the boy twinge. "He said…because you used to be a Death Eater, that you meet Vold-You-Know-Who…as a spy…and that it might not be safe for me here." He paused as he watched anger grow on the man's features. "But, I don't listen to what other people say, Professor. I don't agree with him at all. I do feel safe here…with you." Harry blushed.

Severus composed himself and nodded. "Very well." He brought the wine glass back up to his lips and drained it all in one gulp.

Severus slammed the glass down and summoned another glass for himself. "I'm not feeling too well tonight, Harry. I apologize."

Harry shrugged. "I don't mind. I've been having problems ever since you met me. Of all people, I do not expect anyone to be perfect."

Severus smiled through his glassy eyes at the boy, and then shyly looked into his glass. They sat in silence for a little while before Severus spoke.

"What happened to your potions test this past Monday?" Severus asked quietly. "You were doing so well, I thought your glory days of T grade work was behind you."

Harry suddenly felt ashamed. "I'm sorry, Professor… I don't have an answer for that. I just didn't feel up to studying."

"Worried about Sirius, I presume?" Severus asked, already knowing the answer.

Harry nodded silently. "Yes, sir."

"Well, that matter has been closed, thank goodness, and you can get back to focusing on potions…and your other classes of course. I won't have any charge of mine failing out of Hogwarts…not even _the chosen one_." He smirked to show he did not really mean his words and it caused Harry's lips to curl up.

Severus spoke again, his smile now fading. "On another somber note….your occlumency, Harry…I'm afraid to say it's not up the level it should be at this point. If you keep having these visions it will make us all vulnerable."

Harry looked into his cocoa sadly and nodded. He looked up with watery eyes. "I am trying, Professor…truly, I am…"

"Shhh, child…I know you're trying. Don't fret." He cooed softly to the boy. "But, I think we need a new approach. There is more than one way to learn occlumency, Harry. Perhaps the methods I have been using are just not effective for you."

Harry shrugged. "Well, how did _you_ learn it, sir?"

Severus was not expecting that question. "I'm a natural Occlumens." He stated flatly. "I think…" He sighed. "I think that because I did not have a teacher yet I am able to fool the Dark Lord, the greatest Legilimens of all time…it must be naturally part of my nature."

Harry smiled shyly. "So…hiding your emotions is part of your nature, you mean? Right?"

Severus allowed his lips to curl. "Yes, I do believe that might have something to do with it."

Harry sighed. "Is it because of what happened? You know…with your parents?"

Severus froze in shock, glass in hand, with its rim touching his lips. He removed it slowly and placed it back on the table. "My father…wasn't a very nice person, Harry, as you know. If you think I'm a cruel teacher, you've never met anyone like my father." He went silent for a moment. "He didn't like anything, didn't do anything, and didn't care about anything…and he hated when I whined or showed any kind of outward emotion. If I ever cried or complained…I was punished. Not in the same violent way you were punished, but still hit….slapped…and sent to my room without food. Similar to your situation…but not as severe."

Harry cocked his head to the side to show concern. "That's terrible…" He had no idea how to comfort the man. "I don't know what to say except I'm sorry."

"So, all in all, I suppose I would have to thank my father for my being such an excellent Occlumens. So, not all bad has come from it, right?" Severus tried to lighten the mood. "I have a new approach I would like to try with you, if you don't mind. Since we were not able to have our lesson tonight, how would you like practicing tomorrow? It is Sunday and you will be off the entire day. I think you'll be able to focus better in the morning rather than at night. That is, as long as you do not have too much homework to do tomorrow."

Harry nodded. "Tomorrow should be fine, professor."

Snape and Harry talked quietly into the night until Harry slowly dozed off around midnight. Snape gently covered the child with a soft blanket, removed the boy's glasses and placed them on the table, and gently carded his hands through the familiar messy black hair as he whispered goodnight in the child's ear.

It had become instinctual.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry woke up the next morning, yawned sleepily, and reached for his glasses on the end table. His once-blurry vision became clear as he glanced over across the room and saw Severus curled up on the couch, his long body barely covered with a small plaid blanket, still sound asleep. A small grin appeared on the boy's face at the sight of the man he knew to be so stern...but in that moment seemed to be so relaxed, sleeping soundly. He stared at the man for what seemed like eternity until he realized the man's eyes were now wide open and looking back at him just as intently. Snape allowed his lips to curl into a small smile as he sat up, stretching his back.

"Good morning, professor." Harry whispered softly. "Did you sleep well?"

Severus nodded sleepily, scratching his head and yawning. "I did, thank you. I will prepare breakfast for us, Harry. Why don't you rest for a while longer? Then after breakfast we will have our occlumency lesson. Like I told you last night, I have a new technique I would like to explore. I'm afraid the situation is becoming quite severe…especially if I am going to be your…your…" He paused for a moment and let out a breath he did not realize he had been holding in. "…guardian soon."

Harry merely nodded and rubbed at his eyes.

"HE cannot find out about our situation. So mastering occlumency for you is becoming an absolute essential." Severus said seriously. "Now rest a little while I cook us up some food, okay, child?"

Harry nodded and closed his eyes once more and took the opportunity to rest soundly as Severus cooked their meal. He had a long day of occlumency ahead of him and was not looking forward to it at all.

"Ready?" Severus said softly, about two hours later, after they shared their breakfast together at Severus's small wooden table. Harry nodded and the two sat down in Severus's living room, face to face.

"Now, as you know, I wish to try a new technique with you. First, I would like you to try and clear your mind, much like you always do during our lessons. Except this time, instead of forcing yourself to hide all of the memories you don't wish me to see, I want you to focus on creating false ones designed to fool me. This, in and of itself, should be enough to keep me from finding anything real since your mind will be so immersed in fake memories. However, think of it more like daydreaming. Daydreaming about things that make you happy so you do not lose focus, but that are benign."

Severus unexpectedly sat on the floor. "Come here, child." He said gently and extended his hand out to the boy.

Harry did as he was told and sat across from Severus on the floor.

"Come, lean your back against me and close your eyes." Severus spoke in such a quiet voice.

Harry leaned his back against the warmth of his professor and for a moment he felt a warm tingling sensation overcome his chest.

"Now I want you to take about twenty long, deep breaths." Severus instructed. As Harry did as he was told, Severus cooed "inhale" and "exhale" into his ears.

"How do you feel?"

"Ok, I guess. Kind of relaxed." Harry said and involuntarily yawned. "A little sleepy still…"

"Good. I am trying to recreate the state your mind is in when you fall asleep at night, when your mind is most vulnerable and fragile. I want you to feel exactly how you feel right before…well, right before he is easily able to take control over your mind."

Harry gulped and arched his eyes up to his professor. "Okay, _now_ I'm less relaxed."

Severus summoned a mild calming draft from his stores and handed it to Harry. "Drink this. Let me know when you begin to feel a little bit woozy."

Harry nodded and downed the potion swiftly. A few moments later, Snape saw the familiar signs of drowsiness overcome the child.

"Do you feel sleepy now, Harry?" Severus prodded gently. "Like all you want to do is lay down?"

Harry nodded and closed his eyes.

"Now, I am going to attempt to penetrate your mind while it is at its most weak. Don't worry, it won't hurt. It will just be more realistic to the real thing. Also, like the Dark Lord, I will not be using my wand. I will be entering your mind at an unsuspected moment. You must be ready at any time. Can you try to do that for me, Harry?"

Harry nodded sleepily. "Okay, professor. I'm ready."

Snape reached up and began to rub the boy's temples, trying to further relax him. "Think about something you wish could happen that the Dark Lord would have no reason to doubt or exploit."

Harry thought of many things as he was drifting off…he and Ron flying around Hogwarts on brand new Firebolt broomsticks, he and Hermione laughing while walking to class. He even thought of what he would do to Dudley if he had the opportunity. He imagined himself forcing his older sibling to stand in a toilet and locking him in there, his cousin begging for mercy.

"Too much emotion, Harry. Don't let angry emotions in." Snape cooed softly in his ear. "Think only of things that are benign."

"Sorry…" Harry mumbled sleepily.

Memories mixed with imaginary happenings flowed through Harry's mind as he fell asleep against the professor's warm cloak. Severus was still prodding the boy's mind as he slept soundly against him, trying to view what he was dreaming about. He saw a mixture of strange images when all of a sudden he was overcome with a feeling of extraordinary anger. Harry began to twitch and clench in his sleep, sweat slowly seeping into his shirt. Severus knew immediately what had transpired and exited his mind instantly. He roughly shook Harry awake.

"HARRY!" He shouted at the sleeping child. "HARRY, WAKE UP!"

Harry suddenly jumped up in fright. "I'm up, I'm up!" He was now panting. "What…what happened?"

Severus was not about to tell the boy that both he and the Dark Lord were just invading his mind at the same time. He just prayed the Dark Lord did not realize it. How he prayed he would not realize it…

"Nothing happened, Harry. That's enough for today." Severus said meekly, looking out onto the child whom he'd agreed to look after, care for…perhaps love…and the one person he was consistently forced to report to was out to kill him...it was both disturbing and ironic.

As Harry rested from the exhausting lesson, Severus brought a tall glass of premium firewhiskey to his lips and look in a long swig. He sighed as the familiar burn hit his stomach.

* * *

><p>Severus was sitting in his office late at night on a Tuesday evening, grading papers, when he heard a faint knock at his door.<p>

"Enter." Severus answered his guest coldly. Whoever it was, he mused; better have a damn good excuse for disturbing him at eleven o' clock in the evening. He knew the late night visitor could not have been Harry. After all, Harry knew the password to his quarters and his office and had proven he has absolutely no qualms about entering without knocking first. Sure, he had told the boy that he may come to him any time, day or night, but he would appreciate a knock every once in a while merely out of respect. What if the boy entered the room while the professor was in his underwear? Severus reminded himself to scold the boy about it next time he saw him alone.

Severus heard the door creak open and looked up, only to see the unusually worn-out face of Draco Malfoy staring at him from the doorway.

"Sorry to disturb you, professor. Is now a bad time?" Draco asked, but his voice had a hint of nervousness in it, which Severus detected immediately.

"What's the matter, Draco?" Severus asked, his tone sounding somewhat concerned. Snape knew the boy had a penchant for trouble and immediately began thinking of what could have possibly happened involving the boy. "Is something wrong?"

"I have to talk to you in private, sir." Draco whispered faintly.

Severus swiftly spelled the door shut with a loud bang. "Sit down, Draco." Severus ordered. "Now."

Draco walked across the room slowly and took a seat across from Snape.

Severus leaned in to face Draco, his cold mask plastered firmly and convincingly over his face. "For what reason do I owe this pleasure?" He asked icily.

Draco looked down at his lap and fidgeted. "I've come to inform you that…my father told me that…someone spotted you in Diagon Alley a couple months ago…and not alone."

Snape stared at the boy with feigned indifference, although his ears were now perked up at the boy's admission. He recalled that the only time he had been at Diagon Alley recently was when he brought Harry to buy new clothes.

Draco cleared his throat, looking visibly worried. "My father told me that someone is planning to reveal to the Dark Lord that you were spotted…with Potter. My father thinks the situation seems suspicious, but I told him you were probably just following Dumbledore's orders. That is what you were doing…wasn't it? Dumbledore made you do it, didn't he? I know you would never spend your leisure time with Potter."

Severus cast a stony glare at Draco, but his right hand instinctively grasped his left forearm where the Dark Mark was etched into his skin. He rubbed it without thinking. "Why are you telling me this, Mr. Malfoy? Some kind of childish warning? I'm a grown man, Draco. I don't need any teenagers looking out for me."

Draco sighed, exasperated. "Some of the death eaters are planning on revealing this information to _him_. I guess…in hopes of lowering your rank…or getting you…I don't know…" By now, Draco was practically in tears. "If you tell him what's going on before anyone else does, I am sure he will understand…I just thought you should know! You can fix it if you act quickly enough, I know you can."

Severus sighed. "Although I appreciate your concern, Draco, I assure you that there is no cause for worry. I have already informed the Dark Lord of Dumbledore's orders. He knows I had been assigned the unpleasant task of looking after Mr. Potter this past summer. He thought the task was a good one for me to take on…it will cement Dumbledore's trust in me which is essential to the Dark Lord's plan."

Draco opened his mouth to protest, but Snape cut him off.

"Now if you don't mind, I would like to go back to grading my papers. See yourself out, Mr. Malfoy." Snape barked at the younger wizard coldly.

"But, my father said—" Draco started, but was cut off by Snape's hand sweeping across his mouth.

"I don't give a _damn_ about your blasted father, Draco. It is his own fault that he has lost favor with the Dark Lord. I have not the time nor the patience to concern myself with others' jealousy. You go tell your precious father that there is _nothing_ to tell." Severus stated with a trace of anger and let go of Draco's mouth. "Now get out. Now."

Draco nodded and sulkily exited the man's office. On his way out, he heard a slight shuffling sound near the door, but when he turned around; he saw nothing, but the closed door. Shaking his head, he walked back to the Slytherin common room.

After Draco was out of sight, Harry slowly shed his invisibility cloak to reveal a tear-stained face and puffy red eyes. Even though he knew Snape could never reveal his true feelings about Harry to someone like Malfoy, hearing Severus refer to him in that cold, icy manner upset Harry. Not to mention, he now felt completely and utterly responsible for Severus's unfortunate situation. If he would have just stayed home and not gone out with Severus that day, no one would have ever found out. He cursed himself inside. If anything bad ever happened to Snape because of something to do with him, he would never be able to live with himself. Not after all the man had done for him.

Draco now gone, Severus realized he was still clutching his mark and hastily removed his hand. In truth, he had only vaguely mentioned to the Dark Lord about "Dumbledore's orders" to look after Harry. He had told Voldemort that he simply had to watch the boy inside the castle during the summer for a couple of weeks. He never mentioned anything about taking the boy anywhere that was outside the safe confines of the Castle. In retrospect, he realized how stupid he was in taking the boy out like that. He knew one thing...Draco was right. He had to tell Voldemort before someone else did.

Suddenly, he heard another knock at his door. This one was a soft, gentle knock, sounding much weaker than before. It was a sad, slow, regretful knock. This time, he knew who the knock belonged to. "Come in." Severus answered softly and walked towards the door.

The door creaked open again and this time revealed a melancholy looking Harry, clutching his invisibility cloak against his chest. He was wearing a pair of soft, striped pajamas that Severus had bought for him the day they went to Diagon Alley.

"Come inside, Harry." Severus said gently and walked over to him and closed the door behind them. "Would you like some tea? Hot cocoa?"

Harry shook his head. "No thanks."

Severus saw the crushed look on Harry's face and his stomach wrenched. "How much did you hear when I was speaking to Draco?"

Harry wiped at one of his eyes and sat down. "Enough."

Severus rested one hand on the child's shoulder and rubbed it gently. "Harry, you know none of this is your fault. I was the one who insisted we go to Diagon Alley that day. You needed proper clothes. I should have thought to disguise us. That was my mistake. A rare occurrence, of course." He forced a faint smile. "This was not your fault, child. Don't think that for one minute."

Harry shook his head and rested his head in his arms atop Severus's desk while the older wizard took the seat across from him. "If it weren't for my pathetic life and my rubbish wardrobe, you wouldn't have had to take me out that day. Who knows what Voldemort will do to you now..."

Severus sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you not to say his name in front of me? Sometimes I think you have the memory of a fruit fly, honestly."

"What difference does it make?" Harry mumbled. "He'll do what he wants either way."

"The _difference_ is that you and the Dark Lord share a connection of the _mind_! A strong and powerful connection that is so rare no one I know has ever witnessed such a thing. Please be careful not to call any more attention to yourself than you already have."

Harry sighed. "Sorry, sir." He paused as he watched the older man subconsciously stroke the cloth that rested on his left forearm. "So what will you tell him?"

"I will simply explain that I took you outside under Dumbledore's specific orders and that if anything bad had happened to you while we were out, it would have looked suspicious on my part." Severus stated matter-of-factly. "And it will please him and all this nonsense will be over with. Are we clear?"

Harry nodded, but was clearly unconvinced. Snape leaned forward towards Harry and gave his hand a tender squeeze. "Do not worry about me, Harry. I'm a big boy and can take care of myself. Dumbledore gave me a job to do. That job, unfortunately, has its consequences. But, it's nothing I can't handle. Trust me, okay?" Severus spoke quietly. "Harry?"

Harry nodded again solemnly. "I just…care about you, that's all. I would hate myself if anything happened to you." He blushed a bright shade of red. "Sorry…"

Severus stood up and gently lifted Harry out of his seat and towards the door. "No need to worry about me, Harry. Now get some sleep. We have occlumency lessons tomorrow night. Practice closing your mind before sleeping tonight and hopefully you won't have many nightmares."

"Okay, I'll try..." Harry sighed. "It's not as easy as you make it sound though."

"Do as I say. I shall know if you're lying tomorrow." Severus smirked and opened the door to let Harry out.

Harry smiled. "Thanks, professor. I will. See you tomorrow night."

* * *

><p>Severus was pacing around the dungeons later the next night, anxiously waiting for his mark to burn. He was supposed to be having his and Harry's scheduled occlumency lesson later that night, at roughly eight o' clock. He glanced at his watch. Six o' clock. He always detested being called. It only served as a grim reminder of his delicate and life-threatening position as a spy, his fate being dangled before his very eyes on a consistent basis…something that would drive any average person mad. The Dark Lord usually called him on Wednesday nights, for their weekly meeting. It was the only time in which he and the Dark Lord were alone one-on-one. This would be the perfect time to explain to the Dark Lord about the situation with Harry, so that he would still trust him after Lucius revealed what he had heard. If Voldemort suspected anything, anything at all, then he would be of no use to Dumbledore as a spy. It was essential that Voldemort trust him completely.<p>

Finally, at about seven, he felt the familiar burn crawl up his left forearm. He instantly disapparated and appeared at the Dark Lord's location. He never knew where the Dark Lord would be when he was called, although usually it was Malfoy manor. Tonight, the Dark Lord had summoned him to a broken down muggle house not too far from London. He walked up the rickety old steps and into the dusty old home. His heart skipped a beat when he saw, lying on the ground like a pile of rubbish, two elderly muggles, most likely husband and wife. No matter how many times he had seen people killed during his stint as a young death eater, he himself had never killed another person. Therefore, it was always shocking for him to see a dead body. Some things in life, a person simply cannot get used to. He stepped over the pair of lifeless bodies and into the next room. The Dark Lord was sitting in a chair, facing Severus.

"Good evening, Ssseverus." Voldemort whispered in his snake-like tongue. "You have news, I presume?"

Snape instantly occluded his mind when the Dark Lord's eyes attempted to penetrate his own. He could feel the other man's mind inside of his, fishing for information, for lies, for falsities. Like always, Severus revealed only what he knew the Dark Lord would be pleased with. He truly was a master occlumens.

"My Lord, I do have news." Severus stated dryly. "The Order is steadily gaining more followers, however Fudge's efforts to taint Dumbledore's credibility has been highly effective. Many still believe he is lying about your return and are not joining the force against you. I believe the ministry is looking to find a reason to remove him from the school. Once he is removed, it will be easier to follow through with our plans."

"Very good." Voldemort surmised. "Anything else, Severus?"

"Actually, yes, My Lord." Severus paused and shifted uncomfortably. "As you know, Dumbledore had assigned me the horrid task of taking care of the Potter boy since he had been removed from his home this summer."

Voldemort ran a white, albino-like finger over his lip. "Ah, yes. You did mention it. However, only _vaguely_."

"Yes, My Lord. I was wondering if you wanted to know more details regarding Potter…regarding Dumbledore's orders and our previous…arrangement. I realize I may have been too hasty in my previous reports about the boy." Severus managed to choke out rather convincingly. "If there is anything, anything at all, that you wanted to know, I would be happy to share it now."

"Sssseverus…" Voldemort hissed. "Yes, you are right. I would have liked to know more." The Dark Lord pulled out his long, black wand from under his robes and twirled it teasingly around his hand, fondling it. "However, I did not expect to hear about it from _Lucius_." Voldemort spat out with a dose of snake-like venom. "I want to know…what were you trying to keep from me, Severus? Is there something you were trying to hide? I do not tolerate secrets, Sssseverus."

"My Lord, I would never intentionally keep that information from you. I just cannot stand speaking about the boy, he disgusts me. His name alone makes me cringe. I have difficulty just dealing with him during class. Having to babysit Potter over the summer was not my ideal situation, I can assure you." Severus stated, rather convincingly, however the Dark Lord did not look like he was buying it. "We've never gotten along ever since the day I met him and nothing has been changed in that regard."

"Is that so, Severus?" the Dark Lord whispered dangerously and got up from his chair. At the sudden movement, Severus flinched without meaning to, giving away his fear.

"Sssseverus…do I detect fear? Apprehension? Why I'm surprised…you are such a good occlumens, aren't you? Aren't you?" The Dark Lord crept closer to Severus and spoke quietly, yet deadly. "I asked you a question, Severus."

"Yes, sir. I am. But surely I am no match for you. I've heard your occlumency skills far exceed mine, My Lord." Severus answered obediently, now firmly occluding his mind more strictly than he had done in a long time. "My meager skills could never compete with yours, My Lord."

He did not understand at all where he had gone wrong. Perhaps he should have not mentioned Potter at all? This did not make sense to Severus. Usually when he was honest with the Dark Lord, he always understood given the fact that Severus was one of his most loyal followers. Severus sighed mentally in defeat. He had to think of a way to escape if the Dark Lord became violent.

"You are _such_ a skilled occlumens, Severus…that you now feel the need to teach others your gift?" The Dark Lord now pressed his wand against Severus's chest, reminiscent of Severus's encounter with Harry's relatives. "Or is it more of the fact that you feel the need to teach _select _students?"

He suddenly felt his blood run cold. _Harry. He knows about Harry._ He was stunned. "My Lord…I will admit that Dumbledore has instructed me to teach Potter basic occlumency. I assure you I did not beg for the position. I despise the boy. But if I had denied Dumbledore's orders, it would have looked suspicious. I should have told you sooner, My Lord. For that, I apologize."

"Why did you withhold so much information from me, Severus? If had known you were teach Potter occlumency, I would have strengthened my grip on his mind! I would have been more active in planting visions in his head! You should be ashamed of yourself, Severus." The Dark Lord spat. "Without information, you are worthless to me! Do you know how I discovered your lies, Severus?"

"I am ashamed of myself, My Lord. I will make it up to you, I promise." Severus whispered quietly, waiting for Voldemort's next move.

"I discovered your lies and secrets from _Harry Potter _himself." Voldemort whispered dangerously before breaking out into a fit of evil laughter. "I thought you were more clever than this Severus. The boy is a terrible occlumens. I saw you teaching the boy in your office. This surprises me, Severus; I thought you were a better teacher than that. The boy seems to have learned nothing from you. Nothing at all!" He broke into a fit of shrill laughter. "Pity…"

Severus nodded. "My Lord, I intentionally give the boy a difficult time in our lessons. I do not wish him to learn occlumency for fear he may use it against you. If he succeeds in learning it, than you may not be able to follow through with your plan involving the prophecy. I assure you, My Lord, I do not wish him to succeed." Snape choked out. Any minute now, he expected a curse to be thrown his way. He tried to occlude his mind, to not think about Harry, but he was finding it difficult at the moment. A part of him felt a nonsensical anger at the fact that Harry had been so lax in occluding his mind to the Dark Lord. If the boy had simply followed his instructions and studied, maybe he would not be in this situation right now. However, another part of him felt angry at himself. If he had been a better teacher, maybe this would not have happened.

"I am not worried about the boy succeeding. The boy is an imbecile. As you have said yourself, he is a terrible occlumens. I can enter his mind with incredible ease." Voldemort snickered dangerously. "Well, why don't I do that right now, shall I? That way Potter can see what I do to you as I do it…as your _punishment_. As I understand it, you do not enjoy when the boy sees you at your weakest. So I think this will be punishment for you enough. _CRUCIO_!" Voldemort cried and suddenly Severus's world morphed into a blinding pain. His cries of mercy were ignored as the curse took over his entire body, which was now writhing and twisting on the floor. The Dark Lord struck him 5 more times with the curse before finally leaving Severus, who laid on the ground lifeless, save for a few tremors that caused his body to shake uncontrollably.

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><p>At roughly six o' clock, Harry decided to take a quick a nap before heading to his occlumency lesson with Snape. He yawned softly as he lay down on his bed. His owl, Frances, was sitting next to his bed, hooting happily.<p>

"Frances, can you wake me up in two hours? I need to go to my occlumency lesson with Snape at eight." Harry spoke to the bird. Frances hooted cheerfully and flapped her wings in agreement. Harry rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, remembering what Snape had told him about clearing his mind before going to sleep. He tried to clear his mind, but whenever he began to drift off, all of his memories and thoughts would come rushing back in with full force.

About an hour later, he began to have what felt like one of his usual nightmares.

He began to feel an intense hatred well up inside of his body as he slept. His scar began to burn. In his dream, he saw Severus, looking white with fear, inside of a strange house. Then he saw he was standing before Voldemort, who appeared to be livid and pointing his wand at Severus's chest.

"_I am not worried about the boy succeeding. The boy is an imbecile. As you have said yourself, he is a terrible occlumens. I can enter his mind with incredible ease. Well, why don't I do that right now, shall I? That way Potter can see what I do to you…as your punishment. As I understand it, you do not enjoy when the boy sees you at your weakest. So I think this will be punishment for you enough. CRUCIO!" _

Severus's body instantaneously crumbled into a lump on the floor, shaking and trembling in pain. At this vision, Harry bolted up from his sleep and let out a shrill, frightened scream.

"NOOO! NOOO!" Harry yelled; sweat dripping down his face and soaking his tee shirt. "AHHH!" His screams woke Ron up, who jumped out of bed and raced to Harry's side.

"It's all right, mate! Calm down. It was only a nightmare." Ron said soothingly as he sat next to Harry and patted his back. "It's okay!"

Harry was holding his hand up to his scar, rubbing it to try and ease the pain. "No, no, no…" He shook his head in disbelief. "It wasn't a nightmare, Ron! I saw Voldemort and he was…he has Snape. But, I have no idea where he is!" Tears began streaming down Harry's cheeks. "He has him, Ron. And he's very angry. I think Voldemort is torturing him…"

Ron shook his head. "Harry, it was only a dream…that wasn't real, mate."

"NO!" Harry screamed at his best friend, now shaking. "It wasn't just a dream, Ron! Voldemort told Snape that he was going make me see what he was about to do! These bloody visions…it's the reason I've been having those secret lessons with Snape, to try and block him out, but I can't. I can't…"

Ron had no idea what Harry was talking about, so he just tried to soothe him. "Come on, Harry. Let's go talk to Dumbledore."

They marched up to Dumbledore's office, whispered the password "Lemon Drops", and entered. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, studying something. When Harry and Ron came barreling in, Dumbledore looked up in surprise.

"Professor! Voldemort has Snape! I saw it while I was sleeping!" Harry screamed at the older man, lunging in front of the man's desk. "Please, we have to help him! He's being tortured!"

Dumbledore got up and shook Harry's shoulders gently. "Are you sure they weren't just at a meeting? Was Professor Snape injured?"

"Yes! Voldemort cursed him! I saw it!"

Dumbledore nodded, "Alright, Harry. Can you find out where they are? If you know the location, we can go to his aid."

"I can try. I'll try." Harry whispered before closing his eyes and trying with all of my power. Soon enough, his scar began to burn as he attempted to see into Lord Voldemort's mind. However, his search turned up nothing. Wherever the deed had been done, Voldemort was no longer there.

"No…" Harry moaned, as he panted on the floor. "He isn't there anymore."

"It's alright, Harry. Calm down. It's all right." Dumbledore soothed, bending down to rub his back. "This is not the first time this has happened, my boy. Unfortunately, this happens quite often. If Professor Snape was tortured, he will return once he is able to apparate again."

Harry could not stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. "It's my fault, professor. I overheard Malfoy telling Snape that the death eaters had discovered that Snape was taking care of me over the summer. They saw us the day he brought me to Diagon Alley…Malfoy told Snape they were going to tell Voldemort and that he would be in trouble. It's all my fault…now he's hurt and it's because of me..."

"It is _not_!" Dumbledore urged, louder this time. "Harry, Professor Snape endures this kind of torture regularly. It is part of his job as a spy to occasionally suffer when he goes to meet the Dark Lord. But, in the long run, it is essential. He gives us valuable information, Harry. Information so important that, without it, we would surely be lost in the fight." Dumbledore sighed. "As much as it pains me to see him suffer, I assure you…it is essential. And it most certainly is not _your _fault, child. Understand?"

Harry shook his head. "No…I don't!"

Dumbledore nodded and patted the boy's back. "Go back up to your dormitory, Harry. Get some rest. Severus will return in due time, when he is ready."

To say Harry was shocked was an understatement, that Dumbledore would take the life of one of his own professors so lightly. He told Ron to head back up to the tower without him, then ran down to the dungeons and entered Snape's quarters. He looked around at the room in which he had spent so many nights over the summer. A lone tear trickled down his face as he ran a hand along Snape's favorite chair. He sat in it, anxiously waiting for him to return. As he closed his eyes, he took in the delicate, almost barely noticed, aroma of Snape's usual seat. It smelled of potions and old books. He sighed and took in the scent. He would stay put until Severus returned…that much was certain.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** Sorry I have not been updating as much. I just found out a few weeks ago that my mom has cancer. I might be updating more frequently now...since I am going to try to use writing as a release for my emotions. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. It is not as long as my usual, but it's 3 AM and I am tired. :/ Also some people might take this chapter the wrong way...it is not meant as any kind of Dumbledore-bashing whatsoever. Just like in the real books, sometimes Dumbledore knows what is best even if it's hard for people to understand. I promise Dumbledore will remain a good guy and Snape and Harry will not lose each other! Enjoy~~

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><p>Harry had fallen asleep in his professor's chair at around 2 AM, Snape still not having arrived home. When the sun rose up the next morning Harry awoke in sheer panic. Grabbing his glasses by instinct, he raced around Snape's quarters like a maniac, crashing into every room in a frenzy-like state, relentlessly searching for his professor.<p>

He kept crying out "Professor!", but received no answer back. Tears streaming down his face, he burst out of the professor's chambers and ran up to Dumbledore's office and began banging on it with everything he had inside of him, screaming the headmaster's name. When the headmaster opened the door, Harry was still banging in a blind fury, but this time it was against Dumbledore's chest.

"Child!" Dumbledore exclaimed, shocked at what he was witnessing. "Calm down, child!"

The child let out a guttural scream. "SNAPE!"

Instantly, Dumbledore knew what was transpiring. "Professor Snape is here! He is being healed in the hospital wing. Calm yourself, please." Harry kept banging against his chest. "You mustn't fret, my dear, Professor Snape is inside the hospital wing being tended to by Madame Pomfrey. There is nothing in the world to worry about, my dear boy. He is alright. Everything will be alright."

Suddenly, with those words, all of Harry's fears ceased and he stopped banging. He looked up into Dumbledore's ever kind eyes and asked the question he was afraid to ask.

"Will he be alright?" Harry whispered, tears now drying on his cheeks. "Is he going to be okay?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, child. Professor Snape will be alright. He just needs some tender care, a few potions, and a little time to heal. That is all. He will be as good as new in no time, I promise you that."

The child was trembling and had not noticed until now. He was struggling to stand up straight. Dumbledore took the hand of the shaking boy into his own and brought him over to a couch on the other side of the office. "Sit down, my boy, and breathe in and out slowly. Everything will be okay. It is all over now."

Harry sat down, still shaking with tremors from crying so hard and getting so excited. "I'm sorry…sorry, Professor. It's just…he wasn't there. I woke up and he still wasn't there. I thought—I thought maybe—"

_Maybe he was dead_. Dumbledore knew what the rest of his sentence was going to be and shook his head. "Harry…you have nothing to be sorry for. Please promise me that you won't blame yourself for this." He sighed sadly. "This is not the first time this has happened and it will not be the last. I would not lie to you. I expect as Voldemort gains followers, Professor Snape will be increasingly called upon…therefore, he will be at more risk of being tortured."

Harry looked up into the old man's eyes with a tear-stained face. "What are you getting at?"

Dumbledore sighed, again, obviously extremely distraught. "I want to ask you…my dear child…if you are still okay with Professor Snape being your guardian? Knowing what lies ahead? Knowing about the connection you and Voldemort share? Do you understand what the risks are?"

Harry shot up from the couch. "NO! You can't take him away from me! You can't! I won't let you! He's mine… he's my—"

He was shaking again, anger pulsating through his veins to the point at which he could no longer speak.

Dumbledore got up and took the boy's shaking hand once again. "No one is taking him away from you. If you do recall my earlier question…it was just that…a _question_, my dear boy. I want to make sure you will be alright with your professor's duties while he is your guardian. I repeat…this is not the first time that this has occurred and it will only get worse before it gets better." The softness of the old man's eyes turned sad. "Many things are sure to happen…"

Harry crumpled into the old man's side and began sobbing. When his sobbing finally subsided, he looked up into Dumbledore's wise eyes. "May I visit him in the hospital wing, sir?"

Dumbledore nodded. "He is waiting for you, my boy. He wants to see you, of course. He was worried about you. He knew how upset you would become…he kept asking me if you were alright, but you were finally sleeping, I didn't want to disturb you. Silly boy…of course you can visit him. Let's go."

Those words…despite the gravity of the situation…made a small, melancholy smile appear on the boy's face as he took Dumbledore's hand and they went to the infirmary.

Harry looked terribly nervous as he entered the hospital wing. Poppy gently took his arm and led him over to Professor Snape's bedside before leaving them both to be alone. Snape was sitting upright and his stone cold eyes turned soft and kind as soon as he saw Harry's face. But, he quickly took notice of the boy's distraught condition and became instantly concerned. When Harry saw Snape's condition…which looked okay considering the situation…he did not look as though he was in good health…and Harry started that crazy shaking again.

"Harry, I'm okay. I'm okay, my child." Severus reached over and took Harry's hands in his and brought him over to sit on the bed beside him, as close to his body as possible . "I am so sorry this incident caused you so much stress. I never meant to do that to you. Never." Snape reached up and wiped a tear from Harry's eye. "Are you alright?"

Harry nodded. "Sir…I don't understand. Why are you worried about me? You're the one who is…who is…." He started stuttering…then he lost it. "I was so scared you would never come home…that…that…I'd never see you again…you would never hold me again or help me…and he would…he would…take you away from me…" Harry began to weep as he expressed his worry. "I just kept thinking…what if you've been…." Then he burst into tears and lurched up to hug Snape, not thinking that he might have been in immense pain and not yet ready for such a fierce embrace. But, Snape thought it was alright, a little pain was worth a hug from Harry, and he hugged the boy back just as tightly.

"Shhh...my child. Don't cry." The man grasped Harry tightly and rubbed his hair. "Please don't cry…everything is just fine."

When Harry finally pulled away, he took a good, long look at the man who had agreed to look after him like nobody else in the world had ever done. He looked worn out, tired, and hurt. It burned Harry's heart into pieces to see him that way.

"Professor…" Harry started, but could not finish. Snape just brought his hand up and trailed a trace of his finger along the side of the boy's face and a small smile appeared on the older man's lips. Harry's skin was pale and soft like his mother's. Harry felt the cold hand against his cheek and leaned his face into it for a long time. Soon, Snape's hand felt warm.

Snape cleared his throat after a few peaceful moments of silence and asked Harry to please close the curtains around his bed so that they would be somewhat alone. Harry sat down and leaned really close into him and Snape whispered to him softly.

"Did you see what happened? Did you have a vision while I was being tortured? A nightmare?" Snape spoke quietly so that only Harry could hear him. Harry's lips began trembling and Snape placed a single finger over them. "I'm not angry if you saw it and please don't be scared. I just need to know."

A lone tear poured out of Harry's eye and he nodded. "Yes. I saw it." He gulped. "I saw it all…and…I was so upset…I ran to Dumbledore, but he said…it's going to happen again. That it's happened before. That it will never stop happening until the war is over."

Snape nodded, then wiped the tear off of Harry's face and neither of them spoke for a long, long while.

Harry wiped his eyes and asked quietly. "Can I lay with you for just a little while?"

Snape nodded and they just stared at one another while holding hands, lying down, until they both drifted off to sleep.

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><p>"What am I supposed to do?" Severus exclaimed to his superior before slamming his empty glass of firewhiskey onto a nearby table. "The Dark Lord is capable of entering his mind whenever he pleases. He can see what Harry sees, think what Harry thinks…and I am not yet entirely sure, but I suspect it may even be possible for the Dark Lord to…possess him." The thought pained Severus like no other pain…even the excruciating Cruciatus curses that Voldemort had laid on him was not as severe as the pain he was feeling emotionally, now. The last time he felt such pain was when he saw Lily's dead body lying on the floor next to the crying baby boy he now agreed to take care of fifteen years later.<p>

Severus continued his rant as his hands shook. "And now_ I_ am supposed to be taking _care _of the boy. Don't you see a bit of a _problem_ there? Don't you see how that could get me killed fairly_ easily_? And then what? The poor boy will be left even more traumatized than he already is? It wasn't bad enough that his parents were killed before his first birthday? It wasn't horrible enough that his guardians continuously beat him to a bloody pulp and raped him? Were those things not traumatizing enough for our fifteen year old _savior_?"

Severus was now trembling and holding onto the table for balance. "The Dark Lord could easily see me taking care of him…comforting him…holding him…" Tears formed behind his eyes and it burned like the sun. He would never let them fall in front of anyone, with the exception of Dumbledore and Harry of course. Snape was now physically better, but was obviously mentally distraught as anyone in his situation would be.

Dumbledore's eyes were as sad as Snape had never seen them. "We will figure this out, Severus. We will figure out a way for you to look after Harry and still remain a spy. Have I ever lied to you, Severus?"

To that, he got no answer except for a shattered Snape shakily pouring another glass of whiskey for himself. The man had already had more than enough, but was too upset to think clearly.

"Severus?" Dumbledore urged. "Will you look at me?"

Snape downed the glass in one fell swoop and again slammed the glass against the table. By now, quiet tears were spilling out of his eyes. He just wanted to not have to think about any of this.

Dumbledore walked over and physically brought Severus back to the chair he so often sat in.

Dumbledore kneeled in front of Severus, who was sitting down and Dumbledore was now on the floor, looking up at the younger man's teary eyes. "I know you want the best for Harry and I do too. But, you also know the reason you have agreed to spy on Voldemort. You know exactly why you agreed. You and Harry both play vital roles in saving our world. You are spying and doing what you need to do so that Harry can have his own children…and so they can come to Hogwarts."

By now Severus was sobbing and he turned away from the other man, distraught over what should be and what the reality is. Dumbledore continued. "You know we cannot win this battle without knowing what Voldemort's next move will be. You know that." Dumbledore spoke sternly, yet softly. "Severus, look at me. Look at me, Severus."

Severus's face was in his hands, sobbing like a child. If someone walked in and did not know better, they might have thought he was a student, not a professor. Least of all, _Snape_.

Severus finally looked up, his face red. "So what are you telling me? Not to be his guardian? Not to let him come over anymore? To abandon him like everyone else had done? I will not do that. Not now, not ever."

Dumbledore shook his head. "Not at all, Severus. Not at all…"

Severus wiped his eyes, feeling like a fool. He got up to get himself another glass, but Dumbledore spoke again.

"Drinking won't solve this, Severus, and you know that. You knew that when Lily died and you know that now." Dumbledore spoke softly, never sounding angry.

Severus's hand shook terribly as he grabbed the bottle. "I. Don't. Care." He said in a choppy voice, like someone who had been wailing for hours and had no more vocal strength left. "I just want to feel numb for a little while. Just numb. After all of this…and all that is to come…I deserve to feel a bit numb for a while." Severus stared out of Dumbledore's window out at the dark sky. "I don't want to feel anything right now. I just want to feel numb from my head to my toes."

"You have a job to do, Severus. You know it and I know it. The only person who does not fully understand the gravity of the situation is Harry, Severus. Either he masters occlumency…or you will have to…not abandon him, but temporarily pretend…or…distance yourself from him until he learns. He has a few years left here at Hogwarts, Severus. He will not be orphaned and you will see him every day—"

Severus turned around swiftly and looked at Dumbledore with both disgust and despair. "No. I will not go back to the way things were. I absolutely refuse."

Dumbledore shook his head. "I did not say—"

Severus downed another glass of firewhiskey, but did not storm out of the office like he so wanted to. "Your proposed solution is to pretend I hate him? Is that really the only solution your brilliant mind can come up with?" He asked directly and with disdain. "I thought you were much more intelligent than that, Albus."

Albus sighed. "If we explain the situation to Harry, he will understand. He is intelligent, Severus. And he knows what Voldemort is capable of. Or…you could try still to have him master occlumency, but it is becoming risky."

Severus shook his head sadly, old tears now drying on his face. "Occlumency." He let out a dark laugh "That is the entire reason I was tortured." He turned around and looked Dumbledore in his eyes…his kind and gentle eyes. "The Dark Lord saw me teaching Harry occlumency. While I was teaching him, I sensed the Dark Lord's presence in his mind and immediately exited. The next time he summoned me, he questioned me about it. Being quick with words, I immediately explained that those lessons were ordered by you, of course…by the Order. But, the Dark Lord was still upset that I had hidden the information from him. I can tell he already suspects foul play on my part…that I am forming some sort of relationship with the child. I assured him I am not, and never would, quite convincingly, but as a punishment for not revealing everything to him, I was tortured. While it was happening, I could not occlude, of course. So, I have no idea what he saw in my mind." His wet eyes closed for a moment. "The Dark Lord told me he was going to show Harry what he was doing to me…and he did, as you know. He can enter and exit whenever he pleases. That is why I am so afraid…for both of us. For all of us."

By now, Dumbledore's eyes were also wet from unshed tears. "Do you love him, Severus?"

The question took the man by total shock. He spun around swiftly, forgetting all that they had been discussing. "Wha-what did you ask?"

"You know what I asked." Dumbledore said quietly.

Severus looked away and again faced the night sky out the window. "You already know the answer to that question. Why even ask?"

Dumbledore asked again. "Do you love him, Severus?"

Severus poured another shaky glass of his numbing liquid. "You know I do! Stop making me look like a fool!"

Dumbledore shook his head. "I had no intention of doing so."

Severus shook his head. "Lies…"

Dumbledore continued quietly. "You have already been partially responsible for the death of his parents, even if indirectly. Of course the only person truly to blame was Voldemort himself. But had you not revealed the prophecy—"

"We would be dead." Severus cut him off abruptly. "All of us…if I did not reveal it. Of course, I would give anything to have Lily back…alive…she was the one…if she did not give herself up for Harry, then we would all be dead." Severus whispered. "If Lily had not died, the Dark Lord would not have died or ceased or stopped or anything. At least we had fifteen years of peace."

Dumbledore was shocked as his admission, but continued after a few moments of gaining composure. "What I was going to say is…do not be the cause of another death of someone you love so very much. It is hard enough to break through your stone cold wall, your icy exterior, which I know you do not let many people through. You have only let three people in your entire life, Severus. Myself, Lily, and Harry. Stop killing those whom you let in. Do not be the cause of another death of those you love. If you truly love Harry, then you know what to do."

With that, Dumbledore went over to the now-bawling Snape and held him like a child. Hours passed, nothing was solved. Severus thought to himself that the numbing liquid was not adequately doing its job.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the wonderful reviews of the last chapter! To the people who wrote well wishes and prayers for my mother, thank you. However, she will not recover. It is not that type of cancer. But the well wishes are greatly appreciated. To those who want Dumbledore dead...hahaha...I don't think I will be killing him off, but he will get told off verbally perhaps. =) Not in this chapter, but in the next one. Enjoy!

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><p>By now it was nearly two o'clock in the AM and Severus Snape was absolutely exhausted…not to mention entirely and unequivocally drunk…to say the least. Despite Albus's protests, Severus staggered by himself back down to the dungeons, ignoring Albus's pleas that he might need some help walking straight. He fell down a few times and thought he may have scraped his knees, but he just got up and kept on moving. In his state, just getting to his door felt like he was walking through a maze. His vision was completely blurry and his mind, for some reason, was now on <em>Lily<em> of all people. Harry always remained on his mind, in a constant rotation of worry and love, but for some reason…he thought especially of Lily on this particular evening. He concluded it was because of the intoxication…or perhaps just trying to recall the last time he was truly happy with a woman…or maybe it was something Albus had said to him. It was most likely the latter.

When Severus Snape reached his rooms, his discovered someone was already inside because the door was not locked when he crashed into it by accident. _Harry_. He thought. _It could only be Harry_. Part of him was overjoyed that the boy was there and the other part of him knew that he did not wish for Harry to see him in this condition…drunk, intoxicated, full of worry and confusion and panic, mumbling nonsense to himself about the boy's mother…

He peeked into the main living area and felt an intense relief wash over him when he saw that the boy was sound asleep on the sofa, next to the blazing hearth he claimed to love so very much. This scene was not dissimilar to the way in which he usually discovered the wandering Harry at unexpected moments, showing up in his quarters, of course without any prior notice. No, that would have been _far _too sensible for the curious young boy he now nurtured. He smiled through the drunken haze at the child he now _admittedly _loved and turned away to walk towards his own room.

Not wishing to wake the child nor allow the boy to see him in his less-than-desirable state, he staggered somewhat quietly into his own bedroom and instantly collapsed onto his bed. His goal was to dream only of Lily…he tried so hard to think about what her hair used to smell like when they were children, her gorgeous reddish brown hair, wild and free just like her heart. He thought of what sort of amazing magic she was capable of performing at such a young age…he imagined the two of them studying together against an old willow tree along a riverbank. He wanted so desperately to dream of her again, even if just for _one_ last and final time.

It pained Severus to the core…Dumbledore's words…telling him that he was partially responsible for her death...which he never denied was untrue. It was absolutely true. He did not need Albus to tell him that. No…he thought of it all by himself every single solitary night before falling asleep, guilt tearing away at his heart as he looked at innocent teenager Harry and thought of how Lily would have taken such wonderful care of the boy…but because of him, and his telling of the prophecy, Harry ended up with a messed up life full of agony. He knew it was his fault. Now it was his mission to make it all okay, to try and make it up to the child.

One issue remained however…who knew when Voldemort would be listening in? It could end up getting Severus killed…or worse, Dumbledore or Harry. He did not want to think of it any longer. He tried with all of his might to think only of Lily so that it would be more likely that he would dream of her that night.

Severus shook his head as he rolled onto his side and tears ran from his eyes…Albus was comparing his love of Harry to his love of Lily…making claims of death…what was the old man talking about? It was enough to make him puke up every ounce of firewhiskey he managed to ingest within just a few hours without any food to coat his aching stomach. Rolling off the bed in his drunken stupor and making a rather loud booming sound as his body hit the ground, the one he was hoping to avoid, he opened the forbidden trunk he had stashed away many years ago, opening it recently only to give Harry his mother's wand for his birthday. It was rightfully his, after all. That trunk was his precious "Lily Box". It contained every shred of evidence of their friendship…photographs, letters, lost memories he extracted and now kept in flasks…everything…that they had shared together. He began kissing the girl in the photographs before tossing them up into thin air, just to see them fall back down around the room like dead leaves in Autumn, through the haze of his eyes they appeared to move slower. He kept throwing them up, only to watch the blurry photos float back down. He could not revive her nor breathe that wonderful life back into her body. Not now, not ever. He knew this and it broke his heart to pieces yet again. Tears streaming down his face, he managed to _crawl _halfway back onto his bed, straining through painful blurry vision to read the old letters of long ago that they used to send each other or slip to each other at school during class. This was, of course, before she fell in love with James...before he called her that awful word…_Mudblood_. He must have had hundreds of letters strewn about the room at this point. Well, maybe not hundreds, but at least fifty or sixty. He kept every single one of them, almost as though he knew he would need them one day. Maybe this was that day, he mused.

All he wanted to do that night was to dream of her. To hold her, to dance with her, to kiss her…simply in his dreams. It was not a selfish wish, he pondered. Of all the selfish things he had done over the years and repented for…a mere dream could not harm anyone.

However, after years of taking high doses of dreamless sleep potion just to shield his mind from his own painful and wretched thoughts, he rarely ever had dreams now. Not bad ones, not good ones. Just nothing at all, most nights. There were some rare occasions, however, where he would dream of her and he would wake up with the widest grin the world had ever seen. Tonight in particular…he wanted that rare occurrence to occur so badly…for it to happen just once again. He knew, even if just for a little while, it would wash away all of the immense terror and sadness he was feeling. However, as he drifted off into a deep, coma-like sleep, halfway off the bed, his day clothes and shoes still on, he dreamt of nothing, but darkness, yet again. No Lily, no Harry, no anything. Just the darkness, much like most nights.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Harry awoke on Snape's couch and let out a quiet yawn. It was a Saturday and he knew that he had nowhere to go and nothing to do on Saturday. He liked those days. He usually spent them with Severus. So, he <em>really<em> liked those days. However, on this strange morning, at about half past twelve, Severus still had not emerged from his bedroom. Harry grew concerned and decided to dare peek in (even though he knew he was strictly forbidden by Severus to ever do so).

What he saw did not shock him really, but it did disturb him. His distraught guardian-to-be…just lying there in what appeared to be a deep, alcohol-induced sleep. The man's feet hung off the bed, limp and lifeless, and his pants were only half unbuckled, as though he tried to unbuckle his belt before giving up halfway through out of drunkenness and exhaustion. If he did not care about Severus so much, he may have even chuckled the thought.

He did not chuckle because he could sense that something was very wrong. The room reeked of a smelly old bar and, for some reason or another; old, faded photographs of Harry's mother were strewn about the room as though they had been thrown up in the air, old letters stuck to the sheets beside where Snape was sleeping, one small one stuck to his forehead. One picture that Harry had seen once before when he peeked in Snape's room, he noticed remained untouched, still sitting in its pristine glass case. It was an animated photo of Snape and his mother playing together as young children near a very familiar-looking riverbank. Harry bent down gently to make sure the man was still breathing. He rested his tiny head onto the larger man's chest and heard the strong beat of his heart, so Harry decided to just leave him alone to rest. He knew that Snape had created a hangover potion once. He supposed when he awoke, he would just take some and Snape never had to know that Harry knew.

Just as Severus had once told Harry…he would talk when he was ready to talk. Harry did not wish to force him against his will. So, Harry just closed the door gently and left the room, which was left in wild disarray. Harry made his own little breakfast out of eggs, toast, and slightly burnt bacon and made sure to leave a big plate of it under a warming charm (which he had learned from Severus) for Snape so he had something to eat when he awoke from his drunken slumber.

* * *

><p>Snape woke up with a pounding headache, pain pulsating through his forehead and temples sort of like a migraine. As he reached up to feel his head, he realized his entire body was aching and that a sticky, old note was stuck to his forehead. Then he opened his eyes. The light from the sun stung his eyes like knives. He shut them immediately. Fairly soon, it all started coming back to him.<p>

_Shit_. He thought as he wandlessly summoned a hangover potion from his stores.

It came from his personal stores, through the hallway, into the room, and then finally right up to his lips and poured itself all the way down his throat, controlled by Snape's magic, of course. Within ten minutes, he was sure to feel better. He realized he smelled horrid and after he felt a little bit better, he looked up to find his usually unyieldingly tidy room in complete chaos. He performed some cleaning spells and returned his precious Lily objects back to their trunk. He walked into his shower room, undressed, and felt the warm water and soap cleanse his sweaty pale skin, as well as his stench. Finally, after what felt like thirty minutes of bliss, he was finally feeling like himself again. He took another swig of his homemade Hangover Potion just to be safe. Within ten minutes, he walked slowly downstairs. He glanced at the stove clock. It was already two pm in the afternoon.

_Bloody Hell_. He started cursing himself for behaving so irresponsibly while the boy was staying in his quarters. Saturdays were usually the days they spent together, talking about the week, laughing, and so forth. Therefore, Severus felt extremely guilty. However, when he discovered a little breakfast left for him under a heating charm with a tiny note attached, he managed a small smile. Harry was able to be strong and grown-up when he wanted to be, that was obvious. He walked over and released the warming charm, took the note, and sat down at the table with the food in front of him. He then read the note written in pitiful teenage-boy-scrawl.

_Good Morning Professor,_

_You seemed sick since you didn't wake up this morning, so I made you breakfast. I'm sorry if it's not good, but I hope you like it. __Please eat it and I'll be studying and flying on my broom most of the day. All of the other kids are on the Hogsmeade trip today. Ron and Hermione were so excited. Even though I probably could have went since Professor McGonagall knows what happened with my uncle, I just wasn't feeling up to it so I just told them I wasn't feeling well. Anyway, come get me on the Quidditch Pitch if you need me or just want to talk._

_Harry_

Severus did indeed eat the breakfast, although the bacon was a bit on the crispy side and the eggs were a tad soggy. It made his stomach feel much better regardless, both because of the oils and the care that the boy had taken to make it for him. For the first time in a very long while, Severus actually felt loved _back _and nobody, not Dumbledore or Lily's death or the mutt or anything in the entire world could take that away. He knew that. He knew that and it is what made him clean up the dishes and go search for Harry. He needed to talk to him.

* * *

><p>Severus walked outside and felt the fresh Autumn breeze hit him and it smelled wonderful…crisp, clean, and natural. He gazed around at his surroundings for a few moments before heading down to the Quidditch pitch to check on Harry and make sure he wasn't killing himself flying on that blasted broom. He smiled broadly when he saw Harry flying around and simply sat in the benches with a book in his hand. He was sure Harry would eventually notice him and come down. About twenty minutes later, Harry did indeed spot Snape and flew down gracefully right next to him.<p>

"Professor!" Harry exclaimed. "How are you feeling?" His emerald eyes were shining brightly as he ran up to Severus.

Snape smirked. "You're pretty good on that thing." He said, pointing to Harry's broom. That was all he said and deliberately ignored Harry's question. A few moments of silence passed. "Thank you for the breakfast, Harry. It was very good."

Harry shrugged and smiled shyly. "It wasn't a big deal. I'm just glad you liked it."

Severus sighed. "I'm afraid we need to have a little talk." He saw that familiar sudden fear shine in Harry's eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong; I just need to explain some things to you, that's all." Harry looked down at his shoes and a sad look overcame him. "Harry, not a bad talk. Just a talk, that's all." He reached over and took Harry's hand in his. It was cold from flying. "I'm not going anywhere. Nothing is changing. Just a talk. Is that okay with you?" Severus asked the boy gently.

Harry looked up and forced a smile. "It's okay."

Severus did not let go of Harry's hand. "You can keep flying. It's not urgent. I'll just watch you and read my book. But, I do insist that you wear a coat to keep you warm, it's quite chilly this afternoon. Here, I'll transfigure one for you."

Magically, Severus transfigured one of his own gloves into a warm and comfy coat for Harry.

"Wicked! Thanks, professor." Harry grinned from ear to ear. Severus loved it when he made Harry smile that way. He loved feeling warm inside.

"Well, pay attention in class and you'll be able to do the same thing!" Severus reprimanded gently. Then, when he saw Harry's pretend pouty face and offended look, he smirked. "I have not gone completely soft. I expect you to keep up with your schoolwork." Severus then took Harry hands in his once again. "Watch this."

Harry watched as Severus took his hands into his. Suddenly, self-heating gloves appeared over Harry's hands. "Wow, that's amazing! Can you show me how to do that?"

"Surely. But, transfiguration is more of Professor McGonagall's domain. I am merely a novice." Severus said before somewhat regretfully letting go of Harry's hands. "Now, get back up there. I will be rating your skill, however I forbid you from doing any of those crazy tricks. No broken bones. You hear me? I am busy enough as it is, I don't have time to mend any broken bones." He winked quickly at Harry to show he was kidding.

Harry smiled and nodded. "Okay. Just wave for me when you want me to come back down and...talk?" He appeared worried again.

"Yes. Just talk." Severus said tenderly and patted the boy towards his broom. "Now, go fly."

After he was certain that Harry was flying high and out of vision range, he opened up his book. It was an old book his mother had left after her death on learning Occlumency. He needed to find a way to teach Harry before it was too late. Severus, himself, was a natural occlumens, so how was he supposed to know how to teach Harry? He knew that Dumbledore was alluding to the fact that Voldemort could discover all of their secrets and if Harry could just block him out, then they could just resume their relationship and he could become Harry's permanent guardian with less risk. He read the book intently for about an hour while Harry was flying around the pitch. Finally, when he felt he could not wait much longer, he called Harry back down.

Harry again flew gracefully down next to Snape. "Now?"

Snape nodded and patted the seat next to him. Harry sat down next to him nervously. "What did you want to talk about?"

Again, Severus had an immense urge to hold the boy in his arms, but refrained and simply took the boy's hands in his again. He took Harry's hands into his and even though he knew the self-heating gloves would keep the boy's hands warm, Severus rubbed them as though trying to warm them anyway. They stared at one another for a few moments before Severus sighed and handed Harry the Occlumency book.

Harry was confused for a moment. "What's this?"

Instead of Snape answering his question, he continued. "Are you able to sense when the Dark Lord is inside of your mind or when you are in his? Always?"

Harry thought about that question seriously for a moment. "Yes. Yes, I can always tell. My scar always burns, even if just for a little bit. Most often…it only occurs while I am sleeping anyway. We are alone now, sir. You don't need to worry."

"So...right at this moment…you are not sharing any connection of the mind?" Severus asked softly.

Harry shook his head to signal a "no".

Severus nodded and patted the boy's hand again. "Would you mind if I checked just to be sure? I have to make sure we are entirely alone…you wouldn't want another repeat of what happened last time, would you?"

Harry silently shook his head to signal it was alright. His eyes turned sad when Severus mentioned his torture session with Voldemort. He had finally managed to stop thinking about it for the last few days and now Severus had just reminded him. All he felt was sadness and guilt.

Severus gently probed the child's mind and after muttering a few spells to himself. After a few brief moments, he knew for a fact that they were alone. All alone.

"Okay, good enough." Severus said softly and exited the boy's mind. They were again quiet for a few moments. "So…the book…the book is an occlumency book of my mother's. After her death, I inherited her home and her library. The one you saw when you stayed with me at Prince Manor."

Harry looked down at his book. _Learning to Master Occlumency: The Definitive Guide_. "It looks pretty old."

"Indeed it is. However, trust me when I say the art of Occlumency is unchanging. The book is still relevant, I assure you." Severus forced a tiny smile. "I want you to read it when you are alone. Only when you are alone. You must read the entire book. Then we will resume our lessons. However, during our lessons I am afraid I need to enforce some new rules that have nothing to do with my feelings for you, Harry. In fact, they are only meant to protect us." Severus spoke so quietly, it was almost in a whisper.

Harry looked up from his book. His eyes felt droopy suddenly. "What kind of rules?"

Severus could always sense when the boy was about to cry and reached out to hold him immediately. He let Harry lean into his side and Severus moved his hand along Harry's scalp soothingly.

"Rule number one is you must be blindfolded during our lessons. This way, the Dark Lord could not see what you see. If he does, he would just see darkness anyhow. You also must not think of me during our lessons or before falling asleep." Severus whispered.

Harry nodded in acknowledgement.

"Rule number two is we cannot be seen in this manner by anyone at the school or outside of the school. This particular Saturday, most students are out on the Hogsmeade trip, so now it is alright since we are alone. However, if you come to my quarters you must use your invisibility cloak. Understand?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded again in acknowledgment, but still did not speak and just tried to focus of the smell of Snape's cloak. He loved that smell.

"The final rule. Rule number three is that you must inform me any time he is inside of your mind. If you have a vision, you must report it to me. If you just feel even the slightest flutter of him, you must tell me. Understand?" Severus whispered into Harry's cold ear. Severus pressed his lips up against the boy's right ear to warm it and for another reason he could not distinguish.

Harry nodded again and moved in closer to Snape, whose lips were still pressed against the boy's chilly ear. Severus gently kissed the child's ear and moved his arms so he was holding Harry more snugly. Harry did not know how long they stayed like that. However, all too soon, the sun was setting and Snape mentioned that they had to go back inside the Castle before the students arrived back. Harry did as he was told, but felt sick to his stomach. Snape brought him to the edge of the staircase that led up to Gryffindor Tower. The boy looked so sad, Severus thought. His eyes wandered to the book the boy was clutching.

Severus leaned in close to Harry. "Nothing will change between us, I promise. We just need to be cautious for a while." He stepped away and took a good look into the boy's eyes. "Read the book. I know it will help you."

Harry nodded and wiped a tear from his eye. "Sorry…I must look like such a bloody idiot…"

Severus shook his head. "Never." He quickly moved in and kissed the boy's forehead. "Read it and try your best. I will see you tonight. Come down to the dungeons wearing your invisibility cloak like you always do, okay?"

Harry nodded. "Ron will want to tell me all about their trip, so I might be a little late."

"There's nothing wrong with spending quality time with your friends. I'm not going anywhere, child." Severus spoke gently and rubbed Harry's shoulder. "See you later. Read as much as you can of the book and get some rest. I'll see you soon."

Harry nodded and solemnly walked back up to his common room. He sat on the couch and began reading the book, like he was told. He knew something big was happening and that he should trust Snape. After all, the man was intelligent and usually knew what was best. So, even though he would have rather been doing something more fun, he was determined to read and understand as much as possible from the old book. Every so often he would catch a whiff of that old book smell and it reminded him of Severus.

Severus Snape, instead of heading back down to the dungeons, marched up the stairs and knocked on the door of Dumbledore's office.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued. <em>


	17. Chapter 17

Snape knocked on the headmaster's giant office door softly, yet firmly. When he received no answer after knocking about six or seven times, he reluctantly called out the old man's ridiculous password "Lemon Drops" and the door opened wide for him, magically, of course.

Severus was taken aback at the sight of Albus calmly sitting at his desk, musing quietly over some kind of paperwork, as though he were a regular schoolteacher looking at a piece of homework, trying to determine which grade should be given out. Without looking up, Dumbledore spoke. "Good evening, Severus. I was waiting for you to come see me."

The older wizard then turned his bespectacled eyes towards Severus and smiled warmly. "Care for some tea, Severus?"

Severus now felt hot with anger. "If you were _expecting_ me, then why did you not answer when I knocked…_seven_ times? Surely you must have heard it. You aren't deaf…_yet_." He meant that last bit to be a cutting remark, but Albus never responded back harshly, a quality in Albus that Severus was both grateful for, yet disdained.

"Indeed, my dear Severus, I did hear your knock." Albus smiled and gestured towards the man's usual chair to which Severus obediently walked over to and sat upon, almost resembling a student. "However, an old man needs to get his chuckles where he can, you see, and Severus Snape saying my silly password just happens to do the trick."

Severus's anger faded slightly at the confession and spoke no more of it. "Why—why were you expecting me, Albus? We had no appointment to meet."

Albus merely smiled kindly yet again and summoned cups of tea for them both. Severus always thought the old man's endless smiling was highly annoying, even as a child attending Hogwarts. What in Merlin's name was he so happy about all the time anyway? A crisis could be going down and there Dumbledore was…just smiling...like some kind of Buddhist monk after a few glasses of drink. He had no doubt in his mind of Dumbledore's brilliance and mastery of the magical arts. No, that he was sure of ever since he had seen with his own eyes...things he could only imagine accomplishing, but could never. Sure, Severus was an amazing wizard unto himself and learned much from both Dumbledore and, well, Voldemort as well, even if it was despicable to admit it. However, as to why the genius of a wizard was consistently grinning over nothing….nobody, especially Snape, understood the reason.

"I was expecting a visit from you because of Harry, of course." Albus said gently after he took a sip of his tea. "So, what did you decide upon?"

Severus sighed. He hated when the man spoke so innocently and nonchalantly over something that had been causing him so much internal strife and distress. Nevertheless, he answered obediently. "I talked to him alone this afternoon while the others were out at Hogsmeade Village. We made a few new rules that should keep knowledge of our relationship a secret from the Dark Lord and from all others at school. I also gave him my old occlumency book to help him study without me actually having to be physically with him. We have plans to meet tonight, but I instructed him not to come to my quarters without using his invisibility cloak. During occlumency lessons with me, I will blindfold him to make sure that Voldemort cannot see through his eyes at his surroundings in case he decides to pop into Harry's mind. As you know, a person's mind can be very weak during those lessons." Severus was quiet for a moment, waiting for a reply. Moment upon moment passed and…nothing. "Well, does this information satisfy you or would you like me to reenact it in theater form? Or perhaps add a song and dance to go with it?" He spat out more harshly than he intended.

Albus chuckled in glee. "Twice in one day Severus. Oh, thank you, my dear boy. I really needed that." He then calmed down from his bit of laughter. "Even though that was a very tempting offer from you Severus and how I would indeed pay my last galleon to see your lovely song and dance, I will have to decline it this time. But, please, I beg of you to offer it again under less severe circumstances." He winked at Severus, which again always caused anger to boil up inside of him.

"Very well then." Severus spat. "Are you satisfied with my new approach with the boy or not?"

Albus sighed. "Mostly. But, not quite. One problem still remains."

Severus felt as though if he clutched his teacup any harder, it might burst, so he shakily set it down on the table. Severus needed to explain further. "If you must know, we discovered that Harry can always sense when the Dark Lord and him are sharing a connection. So, if it occurs, we will both know of it. Harry told me it only really happens while he is asleep. The book I gave him has instructions on how to avoid invasion of the mind during sleep. Also, I instructed him to not think of me or anyone else that could be…hurt…by this connection…before he falls asleep." Severus answered honestly. He saw Albus clutching what he knew to be his and Harry's guardianship papers, which the old man still had not signed.

"Well, are you going to sign them or not?" Severus urged, now standing up. "Because, to be honest, I am going to take care of Harry regardless of whether they get signed or not. I don't give a damn about some stupid rubbish like a piece of parchment. It means nothing to me." He was lying. He did want the paper signed so that he and Harry could make it official. One thing he was not lying about was taking care of Harry regardless if they get signed or not. "He needs me, Albus…he has no one else."

Albus nodded. "I have no objection to that, Severus. Was I not the one who instructed you to always look after the boy? Even if it meant risking your life? Was that not I who asked that favor of you fifteen years ago, to which you almost denied? You only agreed because I mentioned dear sweet Lily. Back then, you did not give a care in the world about Harry. Is that not true, Severus? You only agreed because of your love of Lily?" He decided this was a good time to take a pause.

Then he continued on. "And now here we are, having the very conversation you swore you would never have. You _never_ know how things will turn out, Severus. You never know. You thought you would hate him instantly upon meeting him and then proceeded to do so simply because he resembled his father and wore glasses and played Quidditch. Then one day you discover he had been getting mistreated, so you find out, all on your own, that his true nature is much more like his mother's. Now, after months of tending to him, you miss him when he is not with you…you spend time with him when you can. You want to be his guardian, but not for Lily. For _Harry_. Am I right, Severus?"

A huge lump was now stuck in the back of Severus's throat. He remembered that day Albus mentioned vividly. It was the day Lily was murdered and Albus had asked him to look out for Harry and watch out for him once he arrived at Hogwarts. Severus tried to deny the job, but Dumbledore insisted that if he truly loved Lily, then he would do so. He just never thought he would need to save the boy from his own family as well…and certainly he could not foresee wanting to be his guardian.

"Yes, Albus. I do not deny any of what you are saying. But, this is different—this is—" Snape pleaded with his superior through tear-stained eyes. He choked now. "So different—"

"It is different because you now love him as a son." Albus stated bluntly. "I know your love for him is genuine, Severus. Probably more genuine than your love for Lily." He paused as he watched Severus try to collect himself. "However, it is vital that Voldemort trust you implicitly. Otherwise everything we have worked for, everything we have done for Harry and our world will have been useless." He paused. "However…" He hesitated again before sighing. "I, too, want nothing more than for you and Harry to be happy. So we do indeed have a quandary on our hands."

Severus clasped his hands over his face before removing them a few moments later in agony. "Just sign the bloody parchment for Merlin's sake! You know I'm going to keep looking after him anyway!" Severus was shaking…his whole body shaking, resembling Harry when he first brought him back from his relatives. "What damn difference does it make?"

Albus took a deep, sorrowful look at Severus. "You seem slightly unhinged, my boy, as though you are not thinking clearly."

Severus threw his hands up and then down again, exasperated. "No, Albus… I'm not _thinking clearly_…because I am only _human_. I may have powers, I may be a wizard, but I am still just a _human_. I am not some kind of blasted superhero you think I am—"

Albus continued in a softer manner. "Quite to the contrary, Severus…you and Harry are both indeed _superheroes_, as you put it, even if you do not know it yet. Your mind is just confused. You have not felt true love this strong since Lily—"

Severus was now pulling on his hair unknowingly. At least this time he was not guzzling down copious amounts of firewhiskey. "STOP SAYING HER NAME! JUST STOP!"

Albus continued again in a firmer tone. "Did you not give any thought to something such as…oh, I don't know…what if Voldemort has plans to overtake the ministry…and by chance, he or one of his death eaters discovers this—" He held up the guardianship papers to show Severus what he was alluding to…"somewhere, stuffed inside an old filing cabinet at the ministry. Then what?" Albus kept holding up the papers that had every signature needed on it except the Headmaster's.

He continued more slowly, to let it sink into Severus's mind. "Then what, Severus? Then—" Albus delicately set the papers down on his desk. "Voldemort will demand an answer from you. He will ask you why you lied to him all these years. Then, finally, he will kill you, Severus, and I have no idea what will happen to Harry. Please think clearly and logically, I beg of you. I am not asking you to give up your love for Harry. I would never do that. I am merely asking for you to think clearly."

Severus swallowed hard and thought for a moment, trying to focus on what could possibly happen in the future. "Okay…okay…you are right about that." He swallowed hard. "You know I don't want that—"

Albus leaned over and took Severus's hand in his just as he was always taking Harry's. "If you truly think that these papers are more important than your safety or…our cause…then I will sign them."

Albus's words were heavy. Severus suddenly had the odd sensation that the room was now moving and he was shaking again. He finally answered. "I'll come back later. This was a mistake. The whole thing—" He waved his hand to show his regret. He stopped at the door and leaned against it for support. "This whole thing was just a big mistake—"

"It was not." Albus stood up abruptly and said in finality. "It is not a mistake that you are taking good care of a troubled child and that you love each other and that you want to become a family. He needs a family. You both do. He needs someone that will love him and you need someone too. I do not deny that fact. I just wish things were simpler, but they're not. They are not simple, Severus. Nothing about this is simple."

Severus turned around, his teary eyes shining in the dim light of Dumbledore's room. "Then I am lost. You say something one minute, and then you say another the next! I never know what you truly want from me—" He trailed off sadly and looked away, not able to meet those wise eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

"I am asking you that question, Severus. What do you want to do?" Albus asked seriously.

Severus did not answer. He couldn't. He simply shut the door to the man's office and went back down to the dungeons to think…hopefully clearly.

* * *

><p>Harry sat up in bed reading his new (old?) occlumency book that he thought smelled kind of funny. He smiled, thinking of Hermione whenever they studied together in the library. She would deliberately find old, tattered books simply to smell them. Harry used to tease her about it all the time, but as he was breathing in the air of this old book Snape had passed down to him, he realized he kind of liked that smell too. He lifted the book to his nose and took in a whiff. It reminded him of Severus and the old library he hung out in while staying with him at Prince Manor. It made him happy to think about that memory.<p>

Occulmency-wise, so far, things were starting to make a lot more sense. As an added bonus, it also hurt a lot less when you were just reading and comprehending the techniques rather than actually doing them. He had a funny feeling in his gut though that he could not shake off and it kept him from fully concentrating on the book. _Why has Snape been so distraught since leaving the hospital wing?_ He could not stop thinking about the constant worry and sadness in Snape's eyes, the "new rules", just everything. Even though Snape was being kinder to Harry than ever, something was amiss and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He knew deep inside that Severus had conflicting positions that he was forced to be in, but he never thought it would come to this.

Suddenly, he felt his scar tingle slightly. He immediately used the one technique Snape had taught him that he was told would usually work. Harry closed his eyes and began to only think of believable, benign events about Hogwarts and his friends and eventually the tingling had ceased. However, no matter how small the invasion was, he would need to tell Snape about it, even if it was just for a few brief moments. _I wasn't even asleep…so strange… _Harry mused to himself in the silence of his dormitory. Ron and Hermione were busy studying in the common room. They had already filled him in on everything they did and bought at Hogsmeade that day. In a way, he ached for his friends, to hang out with them more often, but he could sense in Snape's voice that this occlumency stuff was urgent.

After about an hour of studying, Harry suddenly felt his scar ache again, but this time it felt entirely different. After a few moments, it burned so terribly that he let out a guttural scream and fell off of his bed onto the ground. He knew what was transpiring instantly. This had happened before, but only in his nightmares. _Am I dreaming? No, I couldn't be…_

Voldemort was inside of his mind now _much _more forcefully this time, trying to look into every inch of his memory. He tried with all of his power to suppress the thoughts and memories he had about himself and Snape as much as he could, but eventually, because of the pain he was in, that was the very person who he yearned to see…Snape. So, that ended up being who he thought of. Suddenly, Harry was overcome with the sensation that Voldemort knew. _He knew_.

Within those brief few moments, somehow he managed to find out _everything_ that Harry did not want him to know. Harry screamed again, but this time not out of pain, but out of emotional agony.

Ron and Hermione burst into Harry's room when they heard him scream. They tried to grab him, to talk to him, but all Harry did was keep screaming and ran out of the room, down the stairs, down to the dungeons. He had to warn Snape before it was too late.

* * *

><p>Snape was pacing around his room rapidly, much like Dumbledore always had done…thinking, pondering, and wondering. <em>What am I going to do?<em> He kept asking himself over and over and over again, never arriving at a conclusive answer that would solve all matters. Suddenly, the dark mark on his left forearm began to unexpectedly burn. Severus was stunned by this and slowly peeled up his sleeve and watched his eternal tattoo turn from light gray to dark gray and finally to a burning black like the midnight sky.

This was not the day he was usually summoned and he knew a meeting was not scheduled for that night. It always burned on the same day and same time on the dot. That was their agreement. That was the reason Severus hesitated before placing the tip of his wand over the scar to disapparate to the Dark Lord's location; even though he knew very well that being late usually resulted in some sort of severe punishment, apparently worse than the Cruciatus. Despite knowing that information, this time, he just stared down at the burning mark. Gray earlier, now black, burning like a scorching sun. Just as he was about to place his tip of his wand over the scar to disapparate, Harry burst into Snape's quarters in a manic state.

"STOP!" Harry screamed. "HE KNOWS! VOLDEMORT KNOWS! STOP! YOU HAVE TO STOP RIGHT NOW!"

Snape looked perplexed and then looked down at his wand, which by now was nearly touching the mark, then back up at Harry's manic face. Within a split second, Severus was unexpectedly hit with a spell that knocked his long, black wand right out of his hand.

"_EXPELLIARMUS_!" Harry shouted his signature spell at his teacher and instantly Snape's wand was lifted out of his hands and flew across the room and out of sight. Apparently, Harry had decided that Snape was not going anywhere.

Snape's mind could not process the events that had just occurred or why they had and just ran over to Harry and shook him. Not terribly hard, but enough to cause Harry to whimper slightly. "What? What does he know, Harry? What does he know? Answer me!"

Harry was trembling. "Everything…he knows everything. You CANNOT go there. He'll kill you! He'll kill you! I won't let him kill you!"

Severus was stunned. _How could it have come to this? _

"Calm down." Severus commanded sternly, forcefully, more so to himself than to Harry. Truthfully, it was for both of them. "You know that if I do not go to his side and you are wrong about this…that will be very bad, right? Because I am supposed to be the spy. I am spying on him for Dumbledore, for the Order, for YOU—"

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? HE KNOWS YOU'RE A SPY!" Harry screamed relentlessly, tears running down his face like a faucet. "HE KNOWS EVERYTHING NOW AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"

Severus took Harry by the shoulders and forcefully placed his body onto the couch in front of him, despite the mark on his arm growing ever more painful by the second.

Snape demanded calmly. "Tell me everything. Now."

Harry's voice was unsteady. "Well, at first, I just felt a little tingling, you know. I practiced the technique you taught me…the one where you think of benign stuff…and the feeling went away. The tingling was gone and I knew Voldemort was no longer there. Then, out of nowhere, he just overcame me and suddenly I was lying there on the ground and he just saw everything…it was too strong…nothing I could do—there was nothing I could do—it was like he just took over my mind and I was powerless against him. I did read the book, Professor; I promise…I was reading it when it happened! I knew how serious it was, honest." Tears were falling so fast, but no one noticed. "I swear to you…I knew how serious…and I was trying my best. He was just too strong—"

Severus felt as though he could not move or breathe or do much of anything. It was all over now. Now he had an entirely new "quandary" on his hands. He reached over and felt the couch behind him and sat down beside Harry, his mark burning more fiercely as the moments passed. "He's calling me very strongly now, Harry, and I want to tell you that…it hurts very much." Snape choked out in a whisper. "It hurts so much when it burns like this, when we don't go to him…" He said as he clutched his wrist in sheer agony. He began squeezing his eyes shut tightly, but it did nothing to help ease the pain.

Severus opened his eyes for a second and looked painfully at Harry. "Pain relieving potion, Harry. Please. My stores. Now."

Harry nodded and ran as fast as he could into the professor's private stores of potions. He found one labeled simply "Pain" and recognized its color and viscosity from the months ago when he was stealing it before summer began. He ran back to the professor's side, whose condition now looked even worse than before. The man was hunched over now, in an almost fetal position, still clutching his arm in agony.

Harry went over to him and leaned Severus's neck back and forcefully poured the entire bottle of pain-relieving potion down his throat. After a few moments, the pain lessened, but it was still there. He could still feel its fury.

Snape's voice was raspy. "More."

Harry was bewildered. He had just given him an entire bottle. "Sir, are you sure it's—"

"I SAID MORE!" Severus screamed, not out of anger, but purely out of pain.

Harry's heart felt like it had been stabbed, but he ran to get more of it anyway. This time, Snape took the bottle from the boy himself with his good arm and poured only half of its contents down his own throat. After about twenty minutes, he finally sighed in relief. The pain was barely there now. It lessened to the point of being tolerable.

He finally looked up into Harry's tear-stained face and reached up with his good hand to feel the boy's cheek. By this time, he was panting. "You saved me, child. I was about to go meet him when you came here. I can't thank you enough, my child. Sweet…kind…Harry…" He trailed off sleepily.

Snape's eyes were droopy now and he looked awfully tired. Harry just appeared to be dumbfounded. Shouldn't Snape be angry that he let Voldemort find out about his spying?

"Um—sooo—you're not angry with me? Or is this just a side effect of all that pain relieving potion you just downed?" Harry stuttered, asking the man quietly. The man did not answer for a moment. "I mean, you took quite a bit of it and it could be—"

Snape looked very drowsy now. "No, dear child. No…"

Harry shook his head in confusion of the answer he just received. "No what? No, you didn't take too much potion or…no, you're not angry?"

Snape kept touching Harry's face and hair. "No, I'm not angry. You saved me, Harry. You saved me."

Harry scoffed. "_I'm_ the one who got you into trouble in the in first place! _I'm_ the one who let him in…_I'm_ the one who didn't occlude properly. _I'm_ the one who—"

"_Saved my life_." Severus interrupted again in a tone of finality. "You're the one who saved my life…and I don't just mean tonight. Not just tonight, Harry. Every day, I think—"

Harry shook his head, as though not hearing one word the older man had just said to him. "It will just keep burning, you know. You don't think he's going to just stop suddenly, do you? Do you think he is just going to take pity on you and just stop calling you? No, he won't stop. Not to me and not to you."

Snape shook his head, but spoke calmly, somewhat like Albus. "Oh, it won't stop. But have no fear, child. I will not go to him." Then suddenly it hit him. He was useless now to the Order and to Albus. If he had enough strength left in him, he might have even laughed about it. The so-called "quandary" as Albus had put it was finally put to rest and he did not even have to make a decision! If he could not be a spy any longer…well, then…he finally mused, he supposed he had an even more important job to do right here. If Harry had a mission later on to defeat Voldemort, then Severus would be the one to protect him and guide him through it. Just as he had always promised he would, fifteen years ago.

Severus opened his eyes and looked up at Harry again and smiled drowsily, as though drunk. "I will not go to him anymore. I promise." Snape closed his eyes and paused. When he opened them again, Harry was still staring, looking scared. "Come…help me lay down. Then you may go or stay. Whatever you'd like. But, just _don't worry_…" The man yawned and was pretty much asleep already.

_What else was in that pain relieving potion? _Harry asked himself as he eased the snoozing man onto his side. Unsurely and skeptically, Harry laid the tired and pained man down on the couch and summoned the plaid blanket that Snape usually summoned for Harry. Harry laid down beside the sleeping man and rested his hand on the now-faded dark mark. It was black before. Now it looked to be a faded gray color. It appeared to be over for that night, at least. At least for that night.


End file.
